


Madrid, la grand ciudad

by Not_the_one



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:43:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 53,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4092742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_the_one/pseuds/Not_the_one
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isco came to Madrid from Málaga chasing the joy of living he lost.<br/>There are a lot of unfinished stuff in his head and a lot to find about himself.<br/>He was aware that the adaptation was not going to be easy but he never imagined what would happen to him.<br/>A new life full of suffering, changes, doubts but mostly full of emotion awaits him but he's not sure if he is ready</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An awakening

**Author's Note:**

> The tags are still very incomplete, the story is going to be huge and I still have a lot of stuff going through my mind.  
> Hope you'll enjoy this as much as I'll enjoy writing it for you

**Chapter One**

 

Isco woke up at the sound of something heavy falling into the ground. He couln't care less, he tried to sleep again, but he couldn't. Isco walked to the kitchen and ate his breackfast, cereal and milk, the usual.

He was living on his own in a small apartment in Madrid, back when he lived in Málaga, he always dreamed about living in Madrid, la grand ciudad, but after a long month, he really wished he was in Málaga right now. He went to some job inteviews, but he was still unemployed, but what really bother him, is that he still hadn't met someone new, he was all alone. Although, he finnaly felt that he was where he was suppose to be, he knew that he only needed some patience and eventually everything would be fine.

He left his apartment and went for a quick run. He ran an hour and a quarter and then he decided to sit on a bench in a park near his house. He was catching his breath when he realized someone was staring at him. The guy who was shamelessly staring at him looked that he also runned, he was coverred in sweat and was breathless. That weird man was now smiling at Isco, this was getting unbearable.

-"Where the fuck are you looking at?!"- Isco finally said.

-"Why so friendly?"- he simply said.

-"Why so creapy?"- Isco tried to sound serious, but he smiled a bit, he hadn't talk to anyone for weeks.

-"Sorry, I know that I can be a little bit weird sometimes.."- he confessed

-A little bit?!"- Isco laughed and so did the other guy."What's your name?"

-"Jesé, Jesé Rodriguez. Wanna grab a coffe?"

-"Okay, know any good place nearby?"

-"Yeah, my favorite cafe is 5 minutes from here.. but first.. you haven't told me your name yet"

-Oh yeah you're right! My name is Francisco Alarcón, but you can call me Isco if you prefer. -"Ok then Isco, lets go."

They walked to the cafe, not saying much, Isco really liked Jesé, he was very funny and friendly. Isco was so relieved he finally met someone, he was starting to freakout. When they arrived, Isco realized that he had no money.

-"Fuck! I forgot my wallet at home!"- Isco yelled.

-"Hey, it's ok, I'll pay. That way you'll owe me money and we'll have to meet again."- he said calmly Isco just smiled ear to ear, he looked so adorable smilling like that, Jesé couldn't held to smile too. They drank cafe while talking, Isco already knew everything about Jesé, he is 22, he's from Las Palmas and he is finishing his studies in Superior Technical School of Architecture of Madrid. Isco didn't know why, but he really liked Jesé's presence. Suddently none of them was talking, they were just enjoyed the enviroment when suddently Jesé's phone rang. He answered rightaway.

-"Sorry"- Jesé whispered. Isco just nodded, the phone call lasted at least 20 minuutes, Jesé had a smile from an ear to the other, a smile that you only make when you're talking to someone you love. When it finally ended, Jesé had a silly smile on his face.

-"So... who is she?"- Isco asked smilling.

-"Oh, actually I'm gay. But no, it wasn't my lover, at least he isn't yet." Isco blushed and really looked embarassed.

-"It's okay, how could you know?"- Jesé said before Isco could even open his mouth.

-"Yeah I guess. Still.. I owe you an apolagy"-Isco said, still embarassed

-You're starting to owe me to many things, don't you?- he just joked

\- "Anyway, what are you into?"- he asked casually, Isco frowned, no one ever asked him his sexual orientation before.

-"To be honest, I only think that some people are more beautiful than other, women and men offer different things to us, and maybe I need both. Still, I only have been with women untill now, but I I'm opened to the idea of being with a man." Isco said more casually than even himself expected. Jesé just smiled, a warm smile that said everything without saying nothing at all. They left the cafe and walked around untill they arrived Isco's house.

-"So.. yeah.. it's here. Wanna come in?"

-"Can't, gotta go, take my card. I'm gonna have a party at my place friday night, can I count with the gift of your presence?

-"I'll se my schedule and then I'll let you know. Bye!" Isco said and entered at the building. When he arrived home he lay down on his bed and smiled, for the first time, Isco felt that he had made the right choise when he came here. He couldn't wait to meet new people, especially people like Jesé Rodriguez.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically a chapter describing Isco and some non-detailed information about his past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so much time to post again but I've been so busy. I'm probably gonna update more often from now on or at least I'll try. Hope this chapter doesn't look like trash like the other one.

**Chapter Two**

 

Isco thinks of himself as completly boring person that adds nothing to others. Truth to be told, he's nothing like that, he's a shy person with some trust issues, though he has really important qualitys, for example, he's the most trustable person you can meet(nobody can keep a secret like he does), he understands the others in a way nobody did, he would do everything he could to help the people he care about, to be honest, he has a lot of qualitys and it's impossible to tell them all, tho, the best quality that he has is that he is unique, genuine, he doesn't follow and completly doesn't care about the standards, he sees them as useless and futile.

Isco is the way he is mostly because of his childhood. He had the best childhood that anyone could have. His fathers gave him the best education they could have and thought him very well to be humble, to fight for what he trully wante, but the most important value they gave him was to be pacient and persistent. His childhood best friends were Nacho Fernandez and Álvaro Morata, the last one, he barely remembered him because he soon moved to Madrid, even though Isco couldn't remember his face very weel, he still remembered how a good friend he was. He remembered some good times he had with him and remember how it hurt when he told him he was moving to Madrid because his father got a better job there, they cried together when they saw each other last time. What was more painfull was that even if he wanted, he would never see him again and even if he did, he wouldn't know because several years have past since he saw him last time. Isco remained friends with Nacho, they were in the same class since first grade until the end of a very intense highschool. Nacho left to Madrid too when he went to college, him and Isco kept in touch all the time by skype, phone calls and texting through 3 long years, he is the friend Isco trusts the most, he was the only person besides his parents that saw him crying. A few months before Isco going to Madrid, Nacho went to the U.S because he got a university scholarship, that's when Isco lost the track of him, they tried to Skype, though, they gave up after several failed attempts, they would see be together as soon as he was back in Spain. Because of the lost of contact he had no clue that Isco's life turned completly upsidedown. He never met Victória, Isco only started to date with her a few weeks after he went to Madrid, of course he knew everything about her, when they skyped Isco spent hours talking about her, about how beautiful she is, about how smart she was, about how much he loved her, sometimes it annoyed Nacho to death but he liked to his friend like that, usually Isco isn't that talkative so it was a good thing that he couldn't keep his mouth shut. But what Nacho liked the most when Isco talked about Victória was the glint he has in his eyes, he was more alive than never.

Basically, Isco is a cute, geeky, graduated in physiotherapy shy and full of important values, a big lover of football and not a devoted Christian as his family is, not that he didn't believe in God, he believed in something bigger than everybody, though, he thought that religion was the major responsable for all the conficts worldwide. He is the boyfriend that the parents want their daughters to have, about that, one of the doubts Isco had ever had is that he doesn't know what is he into. Back in Málaga, he had a really serious relationship with is girlfriend, they're relationship lasted more than three years, Isco was about to propose her, but the day he was going to take the biggest step of his short life, he caught Vitória with another man, a man that he discovered that his name was Fernando Llorente, he could never take that image out of his head, he really loved her but he couldn't apolagize as much as he loved her and as much as she wanted and tried him to apolagize her, he couldn't trust her anymore. She stole the glint of his eyes, replacing that glint with a sadness that never abandoned them since the day he caught her cheating on him. One of the main reasons left Málaga was to forget about her, he even changed his phone number so she couldn't annoy him anymore, but he also decided to move to Madrid because he felt incomplete and that he believed that he would find the piece that he needs to complete the puzzle there, to be honest, Isco went to Madrid to find himself, he was more lost than never back then.

But basically Isco doesn't know what he's into because he finds both genders beautifull and very different, women and men offered him different things, and he needed them both in his life, he also thought that some people are beautiful and other people are not so beautiful, there wasn't nobody that he found ugly though, because he thinks that uglyness is the abcense of beauty and everybody has beauty in itself.

Now that Isco is in Madrid and he finally met someone new, he can't wait for the next chapter in his life, a chapter that he knows that it's the most important one until now, and he couldn't be more excited, but he is also very afraid because he fears that things end up badly like they did in Málaga. Isco decided that if his attempt to be happy again in Madrid failed, he would come back to Málaga and forgive Vitória after all, because he knew that he loved her.

~~~

Isco spent all the day thinking if he should go to Jesé's party, because as much he wanted to go, his incurity seemed to overwhelm his will to go. He's so dumb that he decided that he would only go to the party if a sign that he should go appeared, and as weird as it seems, the true is that when he was going to start to see a three hours movie, an error happened and he wasn't able to watch the movie, when that happened,he showered and got dressed up, a black polo, beige pants and Stan Smiths. Before leaving home, Isco saw Jesé's adress one last time and closed the door behind him, that was it, he was going to the party.

It tooked almost an hour for Isco to find Jesé's home, and they were almost neighors, he couldn't be more nervous, it had been a while since he went to a party, but he was also very excited about the idea of having fun and meeting new people. When he knocked the door it took almost five minutes to Jesé to open the door, he had the widdest smile on his face (he had probably drank to much already) and he hugged Isco tightly

-"I thought you wouldn't come"- Jesé said, still smiling.

-"Yeah me to", said Isco, who was also smillng now.

-"Come on in, there's a lot of cool people I'm surre you'll like and a hot of chicks".

Isco entered and went to the living room, where most of the people were. The house was completly crowded and the music was loud, there was enough alcohol for an army, it was completly chaos. He felt uncomfortable right away, he didn't know anyone and the shyness was overwhelming him, he froze. He didn't move from his spot until Jesé appeared, now with a friend.

"Hey Isco, this is Marcelo, the coolest guy you'll ever met.", said Jesé, who was even more drunk now.

"Hey", said Marcelo smiling friendly.

"Hey" Answered, who was also smiling, due to his shyness tho.

"So you are the famous Isco Jesé didn't shut up aboutall the week"

"Shut up asshole", interrupted Jesé, blushing more than he should, Isco blushed too and for that reason Marcelo laughed really hard.

"Come on Isco, let's have a drink and I'll introduce you to some people", Marcelo almost screamed, still laughing.

Isco didn't said nothing, he just followed Marcelo to the kitchen and had two shots of Tequilla, Isco wasn't used to drink, mostly because he doesn't like it very much (he sees alcohol like a drug accepted by community), so he was already a bit dizzy. When they arrived to the living room Isco couldn't held to repair in a guy that was surrounded by 4 girls who were all over him, he didn't no why but he didn't like him right away, he seemed completly full of himself and the kind of person Isco can't handle with, completly empty inside. For some reasons unknown by Isco, he couldn't stop starring at him for five straight minutes, untill Marcelo grabbed his attention again, truth to be told, that guy was absolutly gorgeous.

The rest of the party was really very nice, he met some random people he couldn't remember their names, he drank, he danced, he felt finally free again, he couldn't be more happy. When he arrived home about 6:15 he was really tired and had lipstick marks all over his face/neck, but he was able to text Jesé "Can't wait for the next party :)", for his surprise, his phone rang five minutes later "Glad you liked, I'm really happy for you Francisco :)" Isco smiled when he finished reading the message and went to bad. He couldn't wait for the hangover that awaits him tomorrow. The last thing Isco thought about was how happy he was for being brave enough to go to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter! Comments would be great :)


	3. First meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really long chapter, good luck with that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey the update is here! Don't get used to have 2 updates in two days ;)

"For fuck sake, how could an hangover be so painfull?" Isco thought, it wasn't his first hangover of course, but it was obviously the worst he ever had. He already took some painkillers, but it had done nothing, his head was hurting so much, he couldn't handle pain very well, he was really suffering. He checked his phone and he noticed that he had four texts but he didn't knew who were them from, probably people from the party, he finally thought. The first three were indeed random texts from people from the party, but the last one wasn't for sure, Isco frozed completly when he ended reading it. "I Isco, did you thought you could run away from me? I know that you're in Madrid but I'm not gonna bother myself going there, I'm waiting that you'll crawl back to me when you understand that you need me in your life. Things are great here, kinda miss you, do you miss me? I think about you all day long and I can't sleep imagining the day you'll come back to my arms. Hope you'll come back soon, kisses, Vitória" Isco had no reaction, he just layed on his bed, everything was a mess.

He decided that he should call Jesé, he needed to hang out with him and relax, he really needed to relax, his head was killing him tho. He called Jesé and waited him to pick up the phone, he took three calls for Jesé to pick up the damn phone.

-"Hey mate, how are you doing? Don't feel bad that you awoke me, I really wanted to wake up by the sound of my phone ringing in a way that looked that I was in the middle of a combat of the World War Two" he said with a sleepy yet suffering voice, he was unable to hide a laugh tho.

-"Hey, I'm probably better than you" he said laughing.

-"You mind if I come bye? Oh and sorry I awoke but I really needed to talk to you". Isco said more shyly than he should.

-"So, you awoke me, which is just an awfull thing to do, and you're giving me the honor of your presence? To be honest, I don't now how I should feel about this sittuation.", he said now with a much better voice now. Isco just laugh and blushed a little, he was really glad he was friends with Jesé, he was just amazing.

-"I'm waiting here, please try to come to my house in less than an hour this time", Jesé jocked -"I'll try, but I can't promise you nothing, see you soon", Isco answered seriously now.

-"HURRY"- Jesé screamed said and hung up the call. Isco took a quick shower and get dressed, he wasn't hungry at all and it was already 12:30, so he decided that he would skip breakfast. He left his home and hurried himself to Jesé's. On his way he felt an odd feeling that he was being followed but after a while he decided to ignore it and thought that probably it was just paranoia. On his way he also thought that even tho he was in Madrid for more than a month, he still hadn't visited almost nothing, and he wanted to change that. But when he arrived Jesé's place he understood that he wasn't going anywhere, Jesé looked awfull.

-"Hey mate, you should see your face", Jesé laugh.

-"You should do the same. What the fuck happened to your face?", Isco asked, but he wasn't joking at all, Jesé had the biggest dark circles he ever saw, a burn on his cheek and his nose was weird.

-"Don't worry Isco, everything is fine", he simply replied, with a smile on his face.

-"I don't know you a long time ago Jesé, but you're obviously a terribly liar, so tell what happened otherwise I'll leave now." "You wouln't do that" Jesé thought but didn't dare to say that.

-"Fine, I'll tell you but it's really not a big deal", he started "Basically, after you left, things got a bit wilder. Me and Marcelo did some shots and we were both very drunk. We were just having fun when Iker Casillas hit on me, but you have no idea, he was really teasing me, but I swear that I haven't done anything! After a while, Iker's boyfriend, Sergio Ramos appeared and saw everything, and somehow he blamed me for that situation and told me that I was hiting on Iker! I tried to told him what was happening but he obviously didn't believe a word I said and punched me in the nose and then throw something to my cheek that hurts like a bitch, but obviously I fought back, you should see his face. Basically in the end everything was allright", Jesé said half ashamed and half proud of what he had done. Isco listened to him very attentive and felt many things about that situation, but in the end, he was unable to held a smile, a smile that Jesé couldn't understand if that smile was a good sign or a bad one, but he decided to think that it was a good sign.

-"Hey but there are things a lot mot important than my face! Did you had fun last night?" Jesé asked. Isco was smiling now.

-"I had a great time and I met awesome people" Isco started but Jesé interrupted him "not as awesome as me!"

-"You are so full of yourself, I hate you. But where was I? Oh yeah I met some awesome people, about that, was there in your party someone called Vitória?"

-"Vitória?", Jesé thought a while.-"I don't think so, why?" he was really confused. Isco took a deep breath

-"Vitória is my ex-girlfriend and she's one of the main reasons why moved to Madrid, and today I received a text from her ever even though I changed my phone number. I'm really scared and I hoped that she was here and I gave her my number because I was completly drunk." Isco said and then showed Jesé the message from Vitória. When Jesé finally ended reading he looked to Isco right away, he was worried about his friend.

-"She's maniac!", Jesé almost screamed~ \- "I know right?!", Isco finally laughed a bit, Jesé was relieved to see that, he missed Isco's smile.

-"Well but I gotta tell you something. I don't know what that crazy Vitória had done to you but I must confess that I'm glad she did it, otherwise, I wouldn't had the chance to meet you." Jesé said very serious. Isco's face was now red like a tomato, never nobody said something so meaningfull and sweet to him. Jesé burst in laugh and so did Isco, they laughed so much, they could barely breath. -

"Let's go outside, I need sunshine on my face, I'm literally dying" Jesé finally said

-"I was hoping you said that, wanna have lunch?It's kinda late", Isco replied.

-"Sure, why not? Oh and also, can I invite a friend to go too?" he asked a bit embarrassed

-"Yeah of course", Isco said friendly and an huge smile came in Jesé's lips. When Isco saw that smile, he understood that his friend was the one who he was talking to in that weird phone call when they first met.

-"Please just tell me he's the guy you have a crush on" Isco begged and just by the look on Jesé's face he understood that his guess was correct.

-"Yes he is" Jesé wispered so quietly that Isco barely heard.

-"Nice, because I need to meet him and most importantly approve him before you can do whatever you want to do with him!!" Isco said genuinly excited, he had a light in his eyes that Jesé never saw before.

-"So now you decide who I can and can't date with? I only know for about a week, why should I care about your opinion?, Jesé tried to look serious, but he was melting inside and he was smiling hear to hear.

-"Because you fucking adore me and my approval is important to you you bastard! Also, you know how much I care about you, don't you? You've been a real friend and I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me in this short time, I don't want you to date assholes!". Jesé had no answer for that, he was speechless, I wasn't waiting for that one, Isco was indeed a box full of surprises, and very good ones. Then Isco hugged him very tightly, another surprise, Jesé just hugged him back and enjoyed the moment.

~~~

When they finally arrived the restaurant, Isco was starving to death and he was very happy when he realized that is was a mexican restaurant, Isco absolutly loves mexican food. They sat at the esplanade and they waited Jesé's friend to arrive before ordering the food.

"There he is!" said Jesé said smiling a bit. When Isco heard that he turned around and he just can't believe in his eyes, it was the dude who was surrounded by girls in Jesé's party, to be honest, he was a bit disappointed but he was so smooth that nobody noticed it, all that Isco cared about was how happy Jesé was now that the misterious guy arrived. Jesé said to his "friend" to seat beside him and of course he didn't refused.

"So, Isco, this Álvaro Morata, Morata, this is Isco" Jesé said excited. They both shaked hands and greeted, both with a polite smile, Isco looked him right in the eyes, kinda intimidating, and for his surprise, he could tell that he knew that face, he already had thought about it back in Jesé's party, but now he was sure that he already saw that face before, it was too familiar. After a while, it seemed like Isco was invisible, Morata and Jesé were so focused on their conversation that they forgot that Isco was there, at first, it was kinda odd, but then Isco realized he could observe that guy Morata without being catched by him. One of the perks of being a non talkative guy, is that he knew how to observe other people, especcialy without being catched, better than anyone. Though, he didn't need to be very observant to see that Morata was gorgeous, his brown eyes looked like open doors to his soul and his whole face looked like it had been drawn by God himself, to be honest, now he completly understand Jesé's excitment towards him, Isco was also melting with his beauty. 

"Oh my God, what the fuck am I doing? I can't behave like this! Jesé is into him, I can't even think about how hot or whatever he is, it isn't his business, it's Jesé's." After that he stopped acting weirdly and he just stood there quitly, as he should. After a while, Jesé went to the bathroom and let Isco and Morata alone, Isco didn't dare to look at him but he could feel Morata's gaze on him, he find Isco so beautiful and cute, and his silence was giving him more curiosity minute after minute. Suddently, very unexpectedly Isco turn around and looked at him with a shy smile, Morata was unable to held a smile, and that was it, they didn't even speak, they just looked at each other adorably, and none of them felt that it was odd, they were establishing a connection and nothing else matters, it seemed that they had known themselves for years.

Five minutes later, Jesé came back and everything returned to normality, the only difference was that Isco and Morata were now constantly looking at each other. Isco felt so guilty, but he couldn't held it, he felt like he was the worst friend ever. Morata was also feeling awfull but he was completly possessed by Isco's beauty, he just couldn't stop. When the lunch ended, Isco went to his apartment, Isco felt so relieved, he was not going to hold on any longer. When he entered at his apartment he felt something in his pocket, he couldn't believe in his eyes once more, it was a piece of paper with a phone number that also said: "can't wait to see you again Isco, Álvaro Morata".

-"Oh great, this was exactly what I needed", Isco said ironically, he didn't knew what to feel about this situation, he was enchanted by Morata, but on the other hand, Isco absolutly adores Jesé, who had been absolutly amazing with him and he just couldn't do that to him, especcialy when he knows how much he liked Morata. He spent the rest of the day thinking about this whole situation, no, he was not going to break his friend heart, he wouldn't forgive himself if he did that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the chapter I liked the most until now, but it's way too long, sorry about that. Hope you'll like it, comments please, I really wanna know your opinion about this story and your suggestions to make this better and better, it would mean a world to me!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I know that I should updated sooner but my last days were a complete chaos!! I'll be a lot faster next time!

Jesé Rodriguez, the guy that is always with a wide smile on his face, the guy with a lot of friends, the guy that you just couldn't like. It's impressive how he always looks so happy, but his kindness was the most impressive thing he had, he does everything for the ones he likes, it doesn't matter how hard it is, he'll do it just to make the other person happy. Jesé doesn't judge anyone, because he believes everyone has the right to be how they are, there wasn't a person that he didn't like, sometimes it seems like he loves the whole world. Basically, Jesé is the best person you could ever meet.

Sometimes it seems like his life was perfect, but nothing in this world is perfect. When nobody is around, Jesé takes his mask away, a mask that was getting heavier day after day, Jesé wasn't sure how much longer he could wear that mask, he was sick of the weight it had. He's aware that everyone around him likes him very much, but he also knows that he wasn't loved, at least by the the ones he dared to love, and now, everything that Jesé needs it's love, sadly, it looks like love doesn't want nothing to do with him.

"Maybe it's my fault, maybe I'm the one who's wrong, maybe I'm not good enough, maybe I don't deserve to be loved" he often thought, and as much as he dislikes those thoughts they refused to go away. He was feeling tired, so tired, he didn't want to feel that way no more.

~~~

Isco was so confused, he didn't know how to feel about this whole situation. He wouldn't betray Jesé, no, he would never do that to him, it was wrong and Jesé couln't deverve it less, he have been perfect to Isco and he knew that. If it wasn't for Jesé he would never hold on, if it wasn't him he would be in Malága long ago back in Vitória's harms. How could he even considerate about doing that? It should be an easy choice, but it wasn't, he couln't lie to himself and pretend he hadn't felt anything for Morata, because it was undenieble, he never felt nothing like that towards anyone, not even towards Vitória when she enchanted him with all her grace. He was such a mess, and he knew that the only way out was to tell Morata that he didn't feel anything about him, and he never will, even though it was a lie, it was the right thing to do. Isco would never forgive himself if he did something that could hurt Jesé, he cared so much about him and Isco was sure it was mutual, and it is awesome to have a friend like Jesé, he is irreplaceable. He felt so angry with himself because he couldn't get Álvaro Morata out of his mind, he knew he had to face him, but he wasn't sure if he could resist the temptation, because there was no other way out, he couldn't escape, he had to face his problems, he couldn't runnaway from his problems anymore, like he did with Vitória. He finally decided he would talk to Álvaro and then he would confess everything to Jesé, he deserved that. Isco finally grabbed his phone and marked the phone number in the piece of paper Álvaro gave him, after a bit of hesitation, Isco gathered all his courage and called him. He answered rightaway, and even tho Isco couln't see him, he knew he had a smile on his face.

-"Hey Isco, I knew you would call eventually." Álvaro was almost whispering.

-"Hey Álvaro, about that, I really thing we should talk."

-"I also thought you would say something like that, so.. wanna have breakfast or something?" Álvaro asked, he sounded a bit embarrassed.

-"Yeah sure", Isco replyed, not showing any excitment -"Nice, I know a place.. I'll text you the adress, bye, see you soon",Álvaro whispered again, why was he whispering? Isco was unable to reply because Álvaro hang up rightaway, that was the most awkward phone call ever, Isco thought, he was so nervous now, there was no way to go back. He did his normal morning routine, then he left his apartment and headed to the adress Álvaro gave him. When he arrived he noticed that Álvaro was already there, he was smiling at him, Isco was smiling too, he couldn't held it, Álvaro's smile was so beautiful.. He was so nervous, his heart was beating way faster now, how could someone made Isco feel that way? So vulnerable, weak, irrational, he looked like he couldn't control himself, but he knew he had to.

Isco greeted Álvaro politely,a little bit too much, it was awkward, in fact, everything seemed awkward when Álvaro was around, and set in front of him, wow, the awkwardness reached a whole new level, none of them knew what to say, they were just looking at each other, like the time they first met. Álvaro was the one who broke the silence

-"So what have you got to tell me?"- he asked.

-"Well, I really don't know where to start. but... bacically... Jesé likes you and you know it and what we are doing is completly wrong, I can't do that to him. sorry.."

-"What are you talking about dude?! I'm straight and I have a girlfriend, and as long as I remember, we didn't make anything wrong.."

Isco frowned when he heard that.

-"What about yesterday? You're going to tell me nothing happened? That you trade that eye contact with everybody you just met and then you give them your phone number? Because I don't, especially if my bestfriend likes him!"

Morata was now smiling friendly, his kind brown eyes were now looking at Isco's, like he could see Isco's soul through his eyes.

-"Sorry if I somehow lead you to think that I was interested on you, because I'm not, I really love my girlfriend. You look cool Isco, I really want to know you better because it seems that you have a good soul, I really wanna be your friend!"

Isco didn't know what to say, but he was really relieved with Morata's reaction.

-"Oh, and also, I don't care if you are gay, everyone has the right to be who he really is"

-"Oh, but I'm not gay!" Isco reply rightaway, which made Álvaro laugh.

-"Isco, you are the worst liar ever, don't ever lie again", Morata couldn't stop laughing, on the other hand, Isco was really serious now.

-"But, I'm not lying, to be honest, the gender doesn't matter to me.. some people are just more beautiful than other, and I must confess, I think that you are one of the most beautiful people I ever saw, yet, I can't feel anything about you, I barely know you.", Isco said calmly, Morata blushed so much, he never heard something like that.

-"Thank you, I guess.. See you again? I'm kinda in a rush, sorry!"

-"It's okay, bye Álvaro" Isco said and smiled, Morata almost melt with that smile

-"Bye Isco, I'll call you later"

-"Sure you will"

Morata ran to his car and drived to his job as fast as he could safely. It was is first day as a trainee in his new business, he couldn't be late on his first day! The day passed and Morata couldn't take Isco of his head, and the image of his smile was all he wanted to see. What was happening to him? Why was Isco all he could think about? That was weird but Morata decided to ignore his thoughts, it was the right thing to do.

~~~

Meanwhile, Isco couldn't be more relieved, but he was also a bit sad because he would never have a chance with Morata. Now, all he had to do was to tell Jesé everything that happened since yesterday. After finishing his meal, Isco paid the bill and went to Jesé's. When he knocked nobody oppened the door, which worried Isco, he used the copy of the key which was hided above the door. Isco entered carefully and went to Jesé's room, he couln't belive in is eyes: Jesé was lyed on his bed with a empty box of pills by his side. Isco panicked, he tried to wake him up, but Jesé didn't even blink, Isco tried not to freakout completly, he made Jesé throw up some pills and called an ambulance and it came rightaway. He stayed with him the whole time, he had to know everything, it was the only way Isco found to remain a bit calmer, but when the Doctors took him to the operation block, he was ordered to wait in the waiting room and told him that if there were any news, he would know rightaway. He stayed there the entire day, he didn't went to a job interview he had, but that was far away from his thoughts right now, he was diyng for news from Jesé, but after a couples of hours of waiting, he hadn't received news.

Isco was completly lost, he didn't know what to do, he needed help, he couldn't be alone, he couldn't deal with that situation alone. He decided to call Álvaro Morata.

"Hey Isco, already missing me?" Morata teased friendly.

Isco explaned him the what happaned and even though Isco couldn't see him, he knew that he froze in the spot.

"Okay Isco, I'm leaving my apartment, see you soon, text me if anything happens, okay?"

"Sure, just hurry, I need you, I can't be alone" and before Morata could even reply, Isco hang up.

Only then he understood that it was all his fault, Jesé caught him and Morata staring at each other yesterday and then... Isco started crying and he couldn't stop, he would never forgive himself if something happaned to Jesé. He stopped crying after a while because he needed to be strong for Jesé, a few minutes later, Morata arrived and ran as fast as he could to Isco and hugged him so thighly that he could barely breath, though, that was exactly what he needed. Morata looked him right in the eyes and Isco saw that his eyes were very red, he cried for sure, it was Isco time to hug Morata, they spent the next minutes in that warm hug, and they both lost the sence of time, in fact, in that moment, it seemed like there was nothing exept them and that hug. Saddly, that moment couldn't last for ever, a few minutes later, a Doctor was in front of them.

-"Hello, sorry for the waiting.." he started.

-"Oh it's okay, is him alright?, they both interrupted.

-"Basically, your friend took too many pills, he almost died, in fact, he only survived because he was operated just on time and because he throw up some of the pills he took.." the Doctor was now looking at Isco, who was also looking at the Doctor -"So young man, you can consider yourself an hero, you saved your friend's life, if it wasn't you, he would be death for sure". Isco didn't answer, he was not an hero and he knew that, it was all his fault. Morata was the one who broke the silence

-"So doctor, can we see Jesé now? 

-"About that.. of course you can but he's not awake, that's the second part of what I need to tell you.. we treated him on time but he took too many pills, we induced him into coma, but don't worry, he'll wake up for sure, but we don't know when."

They booth froze when they heard that, they weren't ready for that.

-"I'll give you a moment now and then I'll take you to where Jesé is"

-"Thank you doctor", Álvaro said weakly, Isco was too weak to speak and when the Doctor left them alone Isco burst in tears in Morata's chest ,all Morata was able to do was to hug him thightly and tell him that everything was going to be allright and none of this was anybody's fault, mostly Isco's. Isco was unable to move, mostly because he couldn't escape Morata's hug (not that he wanted that) but also because he felt to weak, he just wanted to hear Jesé's voice again and see his smile, he needed him. A couple minutes later, they went with the Doctor to the room where Jesé was, he was sleeping so peacefully, he looked like an angel. They spent the next couple hours there, not saying much, Isco didn't want to move from  Jesé's side, he didn't want to lose him from his sight.

-"Sorry Isco, but we got to go, we'll comeback tomorrow morning, Jesé will be alright and he need us to be strong."

Isco didn't even move a finger.

-"Come on Isco, there's nothing we can do here today, bu perhaps tomorrow we can be usefull" Álvaro continued sweetly.

-"I'm not going anywhere, but you can go, see you tomorrow." Isco replyed weakly

-"We need to rest properly to help him, and we wont be able to do it here, so we're going home, we'll come back tomorrow morning, I promise, please Isco."

Isco didn't answered rightaway, but after a while he finally agreed.

"We'll come back as soon as we can"

"Of course, whatever you want", Álvaro was now smiling, and Isco couldn't held smiling too, Álvaro was so relieved now to see him smiling, he missed his smile.

Morata put his hand on Isco's shoulder and lead him to his car, the worst part had already ended, they could only wait and be strong for Jesé.

On their way home Isco fell asleep rightaway and only then Álvaro realized that he had no clue where Isco lives, so he decided that he would take him to his apartment, When they finally arrived, Álvaro grabbed Isco like a baby and took him to his room and put him inside the bed, then he went to the couch and tried to get some sleep. A few minutes later Isco was right in front of him

-"Don't want to sleep alone, you mind?" Isco asked insecure.

-"Of course I don't mind" Álvaro answered and got up -"Let's get some sleep"

Isco was able to smile weakly when he heard that, they both went to Morata's room and layed in his bed. They were hugging each other, finally it looked like everything was going to be alright, tomorrow was going to be a new day and they couldn't be more optimistic about it.

-"Álvaro..?" Isco sayed weakly, he was barely awake.

-"Yes.. what do you need?'". Álvaro replyed, he was also barely awake.

-"Thank you for everything you've made today, you are a true friend"

-"Don't need to thank me, I did what I did because I wanted to. Also I couldn't say no to you when you called me, I really care about you and Jesé"

Isco just smiled and hugged him a bit thighter, he felt so comfortable in Morata's arms, he could stay that way forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked and worthed the waiting. I would really aprecciate your nice comments :))


	5. Purchasing dreams

**Chapter Five**

 

When Isco woke up next morning, it took him a while to remember where he was and when he did he just smiled. "Why am I always smiling when I think about Álvaro? I barely know him and he's an asshole" he tried to tell himself that, but he knew it was a lie, Álvaro is not an asshole, not at all.

Morata was still sleeping and his arms were surrounding Isco, who didn't dare to move because he didn't want to awake him. After 10 minutes, that seemed hours to Isco, Morata woke up, he smelled Isco's hair and pressed his lips lightly against it. "What the.. why did I do that? Why am I hugging him like this? This was so weird, his hair smells good tho."

In the next minutes, they stayed how they were, none of them wanted to move, they didn't talk, they were deep in their thoughts.

-"Morning Isco"

-"Morning Álvaro"

They were both so embarrassed, yet, so comfortable in their silence.

-"Wanna go to the hospital? I can drive you but I got to work today but I'll come by later"

-"That would be great Álvaro, thanks. I'll call you if something happens"

-"Sure you will, let's go. Also, don't ever say thank you again, that's what friends are for" he said strongly.

-"Sorry" he mumbled while getting up.

-"Don't say that too!" he was now smiling. Isco was so embarrassed, he just shut up, smiling shyly.

 

20 minutes later they were in the hospital entrance.

-"Good luck, Isco, everything will be alright, I'm sure he'll wake up sooner than we think. If something happens don't forget to call me!"

-"Thank you, hope you're right. Don't worry, if something happens you'll be the first to know, bye" he said and got off of the car.

-"Bye" he replyed smiling before he drove to his job.

~~~

The next weeks spent so slowly. Isco spent all day long at the hospital in Jesé's room, there were no news but once Isco swore he saw Jesé's finger moving, unfortunately, nothing happened then. He was confident that Jesé would eventually wake up, but he missed him so much, he couldn't hold on much longer even though he had no other option, he had to be strong. Loneliness was probably the worst, Isco only talked to the Doctors all they long and with Morata at the end of the day, it was the best part of the day. He didn't had to, but he mostly slept at Álvaro's with him, he really enjoyed his company and Álvaro also liked his. It's weird now to think that when he saw Álvaro for the first time, at Jesé's party, he absolutly hated him and now he was one of his best friends. He liked him better day after day.

One day, when Isco woke up, he remembered that he had a job interview at his dream job, at Real Madrid, but decided that he wouldn't come, he had to be with Jesé when he woke up. They were having breakfast when Morata noticed that Isco wasn't ok and that worried him a lot

-"What's the matter Isco?"

-"Nothing"

-"Isco.."

-"What?!"

-"You already should know that you can't lie to me"

-"Alright.. today I have a job interview at Real Madrid, it's my dream job but I am not going, Jesé will need me when he'll wake up"

-"You can't miss this opportunity! It's your dream job!"

-"I know but..."

-"No buts!" Álvaro interrupted him. "You're going to that job interview, and you're getting the job"

-"I can't just leave him alone, what if he wakes up?"

-"Fine, he won't be alone, I'm short of work today so I'll be able to go to the hospital a lot sooner than the usual. Now you have no excuses!" he was now smiling brightly, Isco hugged him as tightly as he could, he wasn't able to avoid some tears, it was the best thing anyone had never done for him.

-"Hey! Don't cry!"

-"Sorry!"

-"I already told you a milion times not to say that!"

-"Sorry!"

-"You're helpless" he said smiling and hugged him too.

-"Well, you don't wanna be late for your job interview, suit up, I'll be waiting in the car"

 

~~~

 

Isco was so nervous, he kept casting out his tie the whole trip.

-"Calm down! I'm sure they'll love you, you fit here perfectly"

-"How do you know that?"

-"Because I work here and I know the profile they want, you have no reasons to be nervous. Let's go!"

They both entered by the main entrance, it was so beautiful, Isco was speechless.

-"Wow.."

-"I know, unbelieveble"

-"Absolutly"

They just walked silently, Isco couldn't stop smiling, he looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Okay, now you'll walk straight and you'll take the third left, then you'll wait until you're called, good luck!"

-"You're amazing, see you in the hospital"

-"See ya"

 

~~~

 

Álvaro was so tired. His job was taking him to the edge and then he still went to the hospital everyday to check on Jesé and make sure Isco don't spend the night in the hospital. He is happy that Isco had enough courage to go to the job interview, he was starting to worry about him, in the last weeks, the only places he went besides the hospital were their homes, also he barely sleept at night.

Álvaro was on his desk checking emails and files when his boss, Fernando Llorente enterded in his office.

"Good morning Álvaro" he said with a smile

"Good morning boss" he also tried to smile, but it was in vain, he just couln't.

-"Carvajal is sick and I need you to replace him, you got a job interview to give in fifteen minutes, hurry up!"

-"Okay boss, I'm going"

-"Though, you are still here."

When Álvaro heard that he rose from his chair and went to Dani's office. On is way he thought that he really liked his boss, but he was so tough on him, more than to the other people, and he couldn't understand why.

He hated Carvajal's office, it was so far away from his and smelled awfully. When he opened the door he couldn't believe in his eyes, Isco was biting his nails violently, he's way too nervous. Álvaro's jaw was on the floor, it couldn't be real. When Isco heard the door opening he looked at it rightaway, and his jaw fell to the floor as well, unbelieveble they thought.

"Hello, good afternoon, my name is Álvaro Morata and I'm going to give you the job interview" he sounded so professional, Isco was impressed.

"Good afternoon, my name is Francisco Alarcón and I'm here for the job interview for the physiotherapist vacancy that he's able"

"Very well then, let's start with some questions about your qualifications, then you'll give me your curriculum and finally I'll make you some questions about your character to check if you fit in our standards, ready?"

"I'm ready"

The professional questions were easy, Isco had always been a top student and he graduated in the Universidad de Málaga, being the third best student from his class, though, he had no experience, after all, he only graduated a few months ago, a good thing in his curriculum is that he had made volunteering job for years, since he was 14 actually.

Álvaro was impressed with Isco's curriculum to be honest, it's way better than his. Then they moved for the personal questions, the part Isco most feared.

"Are you single?"

"Yes"

"Are you sexualy active?"

"No" but what Isco wanted to say was why the fuck was he asking that.

"Do you live with your family?"

"Actualy, I don't I live by my own in a small apartment nearby, I used to live in Málaga but I came here to chase my dreams"

"Very well, what are your professional ambitions?"

"I want to be the best at my job in the whole world"

"What about your personal ambitions?"

That one was hard, but after some time thinking, Isco said:

"I just want to feel fulfilled, you know? To feel like I'm important somehow"

"Okay.. why did you choose to be a physioterapist?"

"Funny story, when I was younger, I used to play football, and to be honest, I was a catch. But unfortunately, I got an injuree, a really bad one. The physioterapists from my club were awful and only made it worse, my football career was over. First, I got devestaded, it was the end of the world, but later, I realized that I still could be in sports world, by helping other sportsmen to have a good career and don't ending up like I did. Hope I answered the question properly."

"Oh and you did, you answered amazingly" he whispered so quietly Isco couldn't hear him.

"Well, thank you a lot for coming here, we'll evaluate all the others candidates and then we'll contact you to tell you if you are hired or not. One personal recomendation, if you won't get hired, come back here and try again, it's always worth to purchase your dreams Francisco, have a nice day."

"Thank you very much, have a nice day too"

They shook hands and Isco left the smelly office, he was still nervous and insecure, there were many other candidates with a lot more experience than him.

After Isco left the office, Morata walked to Llorente's office.

"Hello boss, I think we found what we wanted for the physioterapist vacancy, his name is Francisco Alcarón, he's 23 years old, he's a top student and he fits in the profile we want."

"Very well Ávaro, I knew I could trust you, you can go home now, see you tomorrow morning, bye.

"Bye boss, thank you very much, have a nice day, see you tomorrow."

He left Llorente's office and run throw the corridors until he found Isco.

"You did amazingly, I'm so happy for you! I already talked to my boss and I talked very well about you and the interview. I'm sure you'll be hired!"

Álvaro had a childish smile on his face, he was more excited than Isco.

"Let's see how it goes, I did what I could." Isco said smiling.

"Let's go to the hospital, can't wait to see Jesé"

"Sure Isco, whatever you want, you were so brave today, I'm proud of you"

"Thank you Álvaro, means a lot to me hearing that from you"

Isco smiled to Morata, who smiled back, they were so excited.

 

Amazing, it took almost an hour for them to arrive the hospital, the traffic was insane. They barely talked on their way to the hospital, they were scared that anything happened to Jesé. When they entered in the room where Jesé is, it was empty. They both froze, where is Jesé?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely happy with it, I'm thinking about some changing in the final, IDK tho.


	6. Search for meaning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm barely awake, sorry, hope you'll enjoy it.

 

**Chapter Six**

 

They weren't seeing that one coming. They didn't know what to think

Where could Jesé be?

Was he awake?

Was he alright?

Did someone took him?

Was he still at the hospital?

They were so worried about him. Anything could've happened to him and they would never forgive themselves if something bad happened to him.

"This is all my fault, I shouldn't have went to that stupid job interview, I should have stayed here with Jesé. None of this would happened if I stayed here, now he could be hurt or even worse!"

"Calm down Isco, we don't know if something bad happened to him! Maybe he woke up and now he's doing some exams to check if he's okay."

"You're probably right, still, I shoud've stayed here"

"Of course you shouldn't, you're getting the job! Jesé's is gonna be so happy for you. He cares so much about you, he only wants you to be happy, he's crazy about you, you should see the way he talks about you."

Wait, what?! Isco always thought Jesé was crazy about Morata, was he wrong all along? Could Jesé be actually be in love with... him? Did he loved him back? He didn't know how to answer those questions..

"Let's find Jesé, he needs us more than never" Álvaro said, interrupting his thoughts.

"You're absolutly right, let's go find a doctor and ask him if he knows where he could be"

They walked throw the corridors, hopping they would find Jesé or some doctor. After ten minutes, they finally found a doctor.

"Excuse me, do you know where we can find Jesé Rodríguez? He was in coma but when we went to his room today it was empty and we're clueless about where he is right now, we are so worried" Isco was almost begging, unable to calm down, he cared so much about Jesé. Morata put his and on Isco's back and whispered sweetly to his hear:

"Calm down Isco, everything will be alright" and somehow, Isco was suddently calm, Álvaro smiled at that, he hated to see Isco hopeless like he was, he would do everything to help him.

"I don't know where he is at the moment, last time I saw him he was making exams to make sure he's alright. Sorry I  can't be more helpfull. You should really find him, he wasn't looking good. He was desesperated to talk with a guy called... Isco, do you know him?"

"Hum.. I'm Isco actually.. Thank you a lot, you were very helpfull, let's go Alvi, we gotta hurry!"

He didn't let Álvaro say nothing, he just grabbed his arm and start walking very fast.

"Isco!"

"What?!"

"You called me Alvi!"

"...Sorry...?"

"Oh, actually I liked it, I find it cute. Maria calls me that."

"Nice. Now, hurry!!"

 

When they reached the second floor, they immediately found a doctor.

"Excuse me Doctor, do you know where Jesé Rodríguez is? He was sent here to make some exams so we thought you might know where he is"

"Oh, actually,we Jesé sent home a while ago."

"YOU WHAT?!" Isco screamed, he screamed so loudly that the doctor jumped, he was terrified.

How could someone so small and cute like him scream like that'

"Can't see the problem in that" he replyed scared.

"YOU CAN'T SEE THE PROBLEM IN THAT? ! THEN LET ME EXPLAIN YOU ASSHOLE" BASICALLY, YOU SENT A GUY WHO ATTEMPTED SUICIDE HOME ALONE!!! CAN YOU SEE THE PROBLEM NOW?! IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM, I'LL FIND OUT ALL THE ASSHOLES WHO LET HIM GO HOME AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THEY ARE ALL FIRED, INCLUDING YOU!!

"Calm down Fransisco. You win nothing by screaming at this incompetents. Let's hurry to Jesé's and hope everything it's alright."

"You're right, as always. Sorry Alvi"

"You're not guilty that this guys are completly incompetent, let's go."

Before they left the hospital, Isco turned to the doctor.

"You better pray that he's fine, have a nice day."

 

They were so fast, they only took fifteen minutes to get Jesé's. When they entered they searched him everywhere around the house.

It was empty, no signs of Jesé.

Surprisingly, Álvaro, the one who remain calm all day long, break. He started crying, he couldn't stop.

"Calm down Alvi, I'm sure everything will be alright."

"How are you so sure?! He can be ANYWHERE!!"

"Because I'm almost sure where he is"

Morata didn't heard him.

Morata started to whipe his tears, but they kept falling, he couldn't held it.

"Please Alvi, don't cry, I can't stand seeing you crying. Get up, let's go"

"Where? We don't know where he is, he can be anywhere!" Álvaro mumbled

"I think I know where he is!" he said loudly this time to make sure Álvaro would hear him.

"Where?" he was genuinely confused.

"At my place! Let's go by foot, I know the fastest way to go there from here."

"Are you sure?"

"No, but we got to try mate"

"You're right, thank you"

"I'm the one who he's thankfull, you've made so much for me today, you deserve to freak out a bit, you handled everything so perfectly until now, everyone have a breaking point"

As he said that, Isco hugged him and Álvaro burst in tears once more.

"Let's go"

 

And so they went as fast as they could.

He wasn't there too.

Isco was so disappointed, he was sure he would be there. The doctor said he wanted to talk to him hopelessly..

"OH MY GOD!! I KNOW WHERE JESÉ IS"

Isco didn't said more, he just runned as fast as he could.

Álvaro didn't asked nothing too, he just followed him.

They went to the park Jesé and Isco first met. If he wasn't there they could start thinking the worst..

Isco arrived first.

There was a man sitted on a bench crying.

"Jesé?!"

The man rose his head slowly.

It was Jesé!

"JESÉ!!" he screamed and runned to him and hugged as tightly as he could. He was so relieved.

Then Álvaro arrived and did the same, he was already loosing hope.

They were all crying now, they couldn't held it.

"I missed you so much Jesé. I knew you would wake up eventually, but I couldn't bear your absence any longer. I'm so sorry I wasn't with you when you woke up, I faild you and you didn't deserve that."

Jesé didn't answered, he just cryed, he needed to cry al long time ago.

The mask was finally off, he didn't need to wear it again, it would take time, but Jesé was now ready for what it was coming, whatever it was. He let them hug him and smilled.

"Sorry for ruining the moment.." Isco started.

They both nodded.

"Jesé, we have to have a great conversation. Also, I'm moving to your place, there's enough place for both of us and I don't want you to be alone, at least until I think you don't need it anymore". Isco said seriously.

Jesé didn't said nothing again, he was speechless, he was only able to nod.

"Great, let's go home then. I need to take a shower and rest, I'm so tired. You must be very tired too, you haven't sleep very much" he said joking.

Jesé laughed at that, he was so happy to have someone like Isco in his life. He liked him so much, he never liked no one as he likes Isco, and that was good but at the same time he was scared, he knew that Isco didn't love him back.

But perhaps, he might be wrong this time.

They walked home slowly, talking and talking.. it seemed that they never been apart from each other, they were so happy, but they knew that nothing was like it was before.

They knew that there was a long way to go, but right now, and that's it was gonna be tough, though, they were happy to know that they would do it together

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeey happiness!! Hope you liked it! I'm going to review and edit this later but I really wanna update as soon as possible so nevermind the errors.


	7. Endings and begginings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't start something in the present if there is something incomplete in the past...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again I took so much time to update, it's hard to write in a foreign language and lately my pacience... sorry I'll switch the ship and I'll try to update more often.

 

**Chapter Seven**

 

**Jesé's POV**

 

The last two weeks had been weird. Isco moved in and installed here, he said that he didn't want to leave me alone. That didn't botter me at all, I really like Isco's presence, when I'm with him I don't think about the things I shouldn't, I was genuinely happy, I didn't need to wear the mask, I felt complete, the sadness seems to disappear when Isco's around. It was weird to feel this way towards anyone, I didn't love him or something, but I knew I was better when I was with him, he didn't need to say a word, just by the way he looked at me I could feel my heart beating faster, I'm so silly!

Even though his presence was the best think that happened to me lately, I could feel a bit of tension in the air. I felt like Isco wanted to tell me something but he couldn't, I knew what it was, we still hadn't talked about what I did... we were both avoiding that, especially me, I really like Isco but I don't feel comfortable to talk about it yet, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be. I don't feel ready to open myself to anyone yet, but I feel that Isco might the one I'll open to and I'm so afraid of it. I know that I can trust him, that's not the problem, though, I'm afraid that will change the way he sees me, I don't want Isco to pity me.

The only person I ever told how much I like Isco is Álvaro, he's a great friend, I could trust him everytime and I'm for ever thankfull to him for taking care for Isco when I couldn't. Sadly he hadn't been around lately, he had been very busy with his work, even though, everytime he could, he went here to visit me, and when he did, I noticed that Isco was way happier, he talked more, he was more relaxed, but the think that I most noticed was that he smiled more and brighter, I loved his smile so much...

 

~~~

 

When I woke up Isco was in front of me, he looked serious, almost angry. After a while I noticed he had a paper on his hand, fuck. Though, I couldn't held to find him sexy that way.

"Jesé, we need to talk, now! Get dress and join me at the living room."

I knew was screwed.

When I reached the living room I could stare at him before he noticed my presence, I didn't look angry now, actually he looked kinda hopeless and very worried. Fuck, Isco is sad and it's all my fauld, I'm always screwing up.

He finally noticed my presence.

I frowned.

His face was suddently very different now, he looked serious and almost angry again, that really scared me.

"Jesé, you know what this is? he asked but he knew the answer.

"No" I lied and lowered my head.

"First, when you're talking to me you look me right in the eyes, don't lower your gaze again. Second, don't even try to lie to me, I hate lies" he was so serious, I lifted my head.

"Sorry.." he mumbled

"So, if you don't know, I'll tell you.. This is a prescrition that the Doctor gave you when you left the hospital. This morning, when I was doing the laundry I found it in your pants, I saw it and I wanna be sure you had everything you needed. It surprised me when I found you hadn't bought anything you should. I'm so disappointed Jesé, I want to help but you don't let me help you and you don't help yourself" he was looking hopeless and worried again, he was trying his best not to cry.

"I'm sorry Francisco, I didn't want to disappoint you. Believe me or not, I am feeling better everyday, and that's all thanks to you, when I'm with you I fell way better, I feel.... happy! I'll never be able to repay what you're doing for me, I'm so thankfull that you've been with me when I most need you, you're a true friend. I also believe that I don't need none of those pills to get better, all I need is... you"

Isco didn't answered, he just hugged him as tighly as he was manage to, he felt so dumb, he started crying. So did I.

"I'm so sorry, I should have undersood that you weren't okay, I could have prevented everything, actually, I should, I failed you!"

"Fail me?! Where did you get that that idea? Isco, you saved me and you're doing everything you can to help me! You are my hero!"

"Well it's not enough, I'm not helping you well enough, I don't know how"

"Believe me, you have no idea of how much you're helping me. You're helping me everyday just by being present, and to be honest, it's more than what I deserve, I'm so thankfull to have a friend like you."

"You're so important, don't ever to that again, you have no idea of how much I need you. If you ever feel that way again please talk to me, I'm your friend and I wanna help you, please, let me help ypu."

"I won't try to commit suicide again, I swear if I feel sad I'll talk to you, I'm ready to start again, I'm ready to be happy"

"I'm so glad to hear that Jesé, I love you so much my friend"

Isco hugged me tighter and tighter.

"Isco, I can't breath" I said weakly.

He let me go right away

"Sorry.." he said embarrassed

"It's okay" I laughed, "Too much love for me to handle I guess"

"You're stupid" Isco said and laughed too.

After a while Isco was looking at me serious again, he looked like he needed to say something but he couldn't.

"Just tell me what you want to tell me Isco, come on, I can handle it."

He hesitaded at first, then he looked me right in the eyes.

"I want to ask you something and I think it's important to finally end this chapter and start another much better."

"Okay, just asked it" I said trustingly even though I feared that question, I knew what he wanted to ask me and I didn't know if I was ready to answer it, but I needed, Isco was right. I need to end this chapter and I have to open myself to Isco to do it.

"Why have you done it? Why did you tried to kill yourself? You don't need to answer right now, I'll wait until you're ready"

At first, I had no reaction, then I rose and left my apartment.

Isco didn't followed me.

I appreciated that he didn't, I just needed to be alone right now. The thing that most surprised me is that this time I didn't feel like I was running away from my problems. This time, I just needed sometime to think.

 

~~~

 

**Isco's POV**

 

I decided to let him go.

No because I wanted to, because it was what he needed. I knew that he wouldn't run away from his problems, he just needed some time and space to think, and to be honest, so did I. My head is a mess, I'm so confuse, so lost... I always thought of Jesé as just friend, but since the "accident" it seems that he's more important to me than just a friend, the thought of loosing him scared me so much, I wouldn't bare his absence. I don't love him though, but I really care about him, but as my mother says, we care about the ones we love, is she right?

Well, that didn't matter.

He didn't love me, he loved Morata. So did I, though, I would never do that to Jesé, I just couldn't as much as I wanted to.

But again, it didn't matter, Álvaro didn't love me too. He had a girlfriend, and it looked that they loved each other very much, and honestly, I am really happy for him, he deserves happyness.

Right now, my feelings don't matter, no when Jesé needs me, that's for sure, I am not going to let them interfere.

 

The waiting was getting unbearable, hours had passed slowly and I couldn't held to be worried about Jesé.

Where is him?

Was he okay?

Did someone hurt him?

Did he commit something stupid again?

If something happened to him, it would be all my fault. I was starting to become mad, I couldn't go after him, but I also couldn't be alone.

I decided to call Morata. He answered right away and I told him what happened, he said that he would come by right away.

I was so relieved, I really needed company, someone to talk. Álvaro have been so patient lately, I could never repay him. Poor Álvaro, he must be tired of me, I'm a bunch of problems and always begged him for help, and he never blinked, he helped me everytime, and he could perfectly find excuses, but he didn't, he never failed me.

The door knocked.

It was Álvaro Morata.

I couldn't held to be a little disappointed. I was hoping it was Jesé.

"Hey Francisco"

"Hey Álvaro, thank you a lot for coming over"

"What have I told you about saying thank you?"

"You're right, sorry"

"YOU ARE HOPELESS!"

I couldn't held to laugh, he was right.

Suddently, everything seemed alright, how could Álvaro do that everytime?

"Come in, want a beer?

"Sure, why not?"

Álvaro entered and I went to the kitchen.

"You can go to the kitchen, I'll bring you the beer there"

"Okay"

I openned the fridge, there wasn't beer. Fuck.

"There's no beer left, want another drink?"

"What about gin and tonic?"

"Good idea! I'll be there in five minutes"

Álvaro didn't answered.

Five minutes later, I entered in the living room with our gin and tonics. There he was, with a bright smile, gosh, he's so beautiful. 

We talked while we drank, yes,exactly that way, we drank more than we talked. After a while, I was already feeling a bit dizzy, I'm not really used to alcohol, so I'm not very resistant to it, though, Álvaro was completly sober. When I realized, I was a lot closer to him, only a few centimetres between us, none of us seemed to feel bothered with it. My head was so heavy, I decided it would be a good idea to rest my head in his chest, it felt amazing, he didn't mind at all, he started scratching my back lightly through my t-shirt, it felt so good I took it off so he could scratch my back directly. I almost felt asleep, I was so tired and the way Álvaro was scratching my back wasn't helping at all. I started to say stupid things which I don't remember, I only remember the way Álvaro laughed sweetly and told me I was drunk.

"I'm not, shut up!" I said strongly.

"Whatever you want Isco, whatever you want..."

I almost forgot why I invited Álvaro home, big mistake. I don't know why, but at some point, all I wanted was to taste Álvaro's lips, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Álvaro..." I somehow said.

"Yes Isco" he was also a bit drunk now.

I didn't said anything else, I aproached him and when I was almost kissing him... the door openned and Jesé entered in the living room.

Fuck.

Jesé didn't say anything, he just looked at us, his eyes were really red. The way he looked at us, he looked so hurt... devastaded... destroyed... 

It was all my fault. 

Fuck.

He runned to his room and locked the door.

I looked panicked to Álvaro, he was also shoked.

"Go home Álvaro, I'll solve this. I'll call you tomorrow."

He nodded.

"Okay, but if you need help I'll come right away"

"I know Álvaro, thank you so much for everything."

"And yes, I know, no thank you nor sorry, but I'm really thankfull to you, bye Álvaro" I said before Álvaro could even open his mouth.

"Bye Isco, everything will be alright" he forced a smile.

"I know.." 

Álvao left.

I headed to Jesé's room, it was locked so I sat in front of the closed door, I could hear him crying.

"Jesé, please, let me enter"

He didn't answer. I was expecting that. It was all my falt.

I looked for a pen and a piece of paper. When I found it, I wrote a letter to Jesé, I wasn't sure he would read it, but I needed to try, it was the only way I found to communicate with him. When I finished it, I went to Jesé's room and placed the letter I just wrote behind the door, after that, I sat in front of his door again and waited for Jesé's reaction, I started crying quietly.

It was all my fault.

 

~~~

 

**Jesé's POV**

 

How could Isco done this to me? I felt so betrayed, I didn't deserve that, or did I? The way Isco was looking at Álvaro, full of desire, he almost looked hungry. The worst part was that I couldn't judge him, I couldn't be angry at him, I love him so much, also, I couldn't blame him to feel attracted to Álvaro Morata, he is so beautiful, so is Isco... Sadly, I'm not... I heard Isco begging me to open the door but I ignored, I didn't want to face him. I was feeling so hopeless again, the dark thoughts had caught me again, I felt like I was doomed to unhappiness, in fact, that I didn't deserved it. I was looking for my anti-depressants, I wanted to swallow them all, though, all I found was a piece of paper filled with Isco's delicate hand writing. At first, I ignored and resumed my search for my anti-depressants, but after a while, curiosity was killing me, I needed to read what Isco wrote to me. I gave up, I started reading Isco's letter, my mind was blown.

_"Jesé, this is all my fault, I failed you once more. I'm not going to say sorry even though I am, because right now, I feel like I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserved it at all. You never failed me, you are the best thing that happened to me since I'm here in Madrid, you helped me a lot at my adaptation here, you introduced me to amazing people, you made me feel wanted, And how did I repay you? Failing you, over and over again, I'm a terrible friend and I betrayed you, I knew that you love Álvaro but I was unable to stay away from him, what´kind of person am I? I don't deserve you, but I wish you the best, I want to help you finishing the chapter you need to end, I really do. So please, open the door so I can help you, let me help you and I'll leave for good, I won't hurt you again, because that's the best I can do for you. I'm waiting and I have all the time in the world for you, open the door when you're ready, I'll stay here right in the other side of the door. Love you, Franciso Alcorón"_

Fuck.

What have I done?

He thinks I love Álvaro? What?

"I LOVE YOU ISCO" I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I know that he doesn't love me. Isco is such a good person, I didn't want him to feel like that, especially because of me.

I openned the door, here he was, now looking at me.

"Come on in" I said, he entered. 

At first, we both stayed quiet, I didn't know what to say, my heart was beating so fast. Who should start talking?

Isco was the one who broke the silent.

"I'm going straight to the point. Why did you tried to kill yourself?"

"Wow, not smooth" I thought. I froze, didn't answered right away. Isco kept staring at me calmly.

"You don't need to hurry, I can wait as long as you need"

I didn't answered, but I smiled to him, he smiled shortly too.

After a while, I had already gathered all my courage. I was finally ready, or at least I thought I was.

"First of all, it wasn't just a act of crazyness, I did what I did after a big reflection, I thought about it for a long time, more than I can remember to be honest. It's weird how it all started, when I was 12, my dearloved cousin took his own life. At first, I just felt very sad becaused I really liked him a lot, then, a year after his death I started to ask myself why would someone took his own life, why had he done it? I couldn't find an answer, I was so lost, this feeling of emptyness was slowly killing me. Then you know teenagers, we tend to overthink and overreact, life wasn't easy, and I felt so misunderstood by everybody.. But the worst happened two years ago.. Basically, I told my parents I was gay and they didn't react very well, they said I was no longer their son and kicked me out, I felt even more lost, I felt so useless and unwanted, my own parents didn't want me! I needed love so badly and I never found it, I mean, I fell in love sometimes but I was never loved back, the useless, unloved, unwanted feelings grew so much, I felt my presence was no longer needed here. Everything seemed so dark, I couln't find any other way out, I was week. I was tired of pretending I was happy, tired of wearing a mask... I just... I just gave up."

Isco hugged me, he hugged me so tightly, I could barely breath. I did it, I finally openned myself, it felt so good. He cried, I cried, we cried so much, we couldn't stop it.

"Jesé.." he said still crying.

"Yes..?"

"Please, if you ever feel like that again, talk with me, I wouldn't bear your absence. Also, don't ever say you are unwanted and unloved, because, I love you Jesé Rodríguez Ruíz"

"Not the way I want you to" I thought, but again, didn't said it instead I said that I knew and that I loved him too.

"Are you ready to a new start?"

"I am"

I wasn't lying this time, I really meant it.

"With me of course" he joked.

"I wouldn't wanted other way"

He blushed, I blushed too, he hugged me tightly again, and that's how we spent the night, hugging each other. I felt asleep a while later, and for the first time in a long time, I felt asleep smiling, a new start was awating me and I was ready to embrace it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tired, hope you'll enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this.  
> I really would aprecciate your comments :)))  
> A new start awaits, let's see how it goes


	8. An unforgettable day and a night to forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unforgettable day and a night to forget (I really liked the summary so I decided it would be a good title for the chapter :))) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I suck because I took more than two weeks two update and this chapter is just.... ew... I'm sorry but lately I haven't been around (I had the week of my life :))) ). But again.. sorry.. I'm going to try to update more often from now on, NO EXCUSES!!

 

**Chapter Eight**

 

**Jesé's POV**

 

The first image I had when I woke was Isco, beautiful Isco. He had a wide smile on his face, how I loved to see him smilling like that.

"Jesé! We're going to find you a boyfriend!" he said enthusiastic, almost screaming, my smile fade away.

"What?! I don't want to find a boyfriend!" I wasn't liying, the guy I wanted was just in front of me, how couldn't him understand that?

"Of course you want! It's a really important of your new begining Jesé!" his eyes were shining, what kind of drugs did he do? I wanted that too.

"Okay, let's say I need a boyfriend... where am I going to find one? Come on, it's useless, this is not a fairy tale, I was not going to find my true love or something like that in the middle of the street  or at a club" I smiled at that, because I found Isco in a bench in a park, but that doesn't matter now, I justed didn't want to find anybody, I just wanted Isco.

"Who talked about love? I think you just need someone to take care of you." he was not going to give up so soon.

"Why if I have you? You are the best I can find to do that, nobody takes care of me like you do!" I meant it, Isco have been the best friend ever, I was for ever thankfull for that.

"Because you need someone who will take care of you in a way I can't.."

"Can't you?"

"Very funny Jesé, now get up, let's visit Madrid, you know how badly I want to do it, so... hurry!"

His answer disapponited me a little.

I made complained noises, I didn't want to go. But for Isco I would do everything and I knew how badly he wanted to visit the town properly for so long, he was so excited, I wasn't though, the things we do for love... I soon realized that I made the right option, Isco's smile worth all the effort in the world, only in those moments I remembered that he came from a small town, in fact, the biggest city he went until that day was Málaga, which was really funny for me, I travelled so much around the world with my parents. Thinking about my family didn't bother me to be honest, I felt nothing but contempt for them, all I missed from my home was my dog, or at least that was what I tried to say to myself.

"So Isco where do you wanna go first?" I asked him, I was finally getting in the mood.

Isco looked at me really embarrassed, he even blushed a little.

"I have no idea, I don't know this city, I'm kinda lost, can you show me?".

I smiled brightly, so brightly, I didn't remember to smile so natually, Isco blushed even more, he was completly red.

"It's okay Isco, I should have known, let's go, you'll be amazed with Madrid's beauty."

He mumbled something I didn't understand, I started walking and he just followed me, he was still red like a tomato. 

We were walking through the Gran Via a while, it was completly croweded, the usual. Isco was so excited and he find everything so beautiful and amazing that even me, that already have seen that over and over again, couldn't held to think that everything was indeed amazing and beautiful in a way I never noticed before.

We took a bus to Plaza de España, we couldn't do it all on foot if we wanted to see all I've planned, of course Isco complained, he wanted to see everything, all the details. Though when I told him that if we spent too much time there we wouldn't have enough time to explore the city properly, and we wouldn't be able to see almost nothing, he agreed right away that we should take the bus. When we reached our destiny Isco's smile came back, his eyes shining, watching everything around him, enjoying it like it was his only chance he would have in his life to do it. He was radiating life, I was feeling so alive, Isco's hapiness makes me feel so alive, so complete, it was so adorable, so genuine, so beautiful... We walked around enjoying ourselves, joking with the pale tourists who were clueless about where they were, taking pictures, sometimes of ourselves making silly faces. Then we had a quick meal just to trick our stomach nearby the Palace of Real Madrid, we decided we wouldn't visit the palace inside, it would took too much time, and they knew that they hadn't much of it. Though we saw it from outside and took some pictures to it, Isco couldn't stop saying it was the most beautiful thing he ever saw and that one day he would spend a day just seeing the palace from the inside. Our next stop was Plaza Mayor, I hadn't told Isco, but I don't like this part of the town, it was too crowded for my taste, of course Isco loved it, he even kinda made a friend there, a tourist who was from Málaga, the place Isco called home even though he was from a town near Valencia, he says that he spent the best moments of his life there, but there was always a sad tone on his voice, I didn't understand why and I find it weird, but I didn't dare to ask, if Isco wanted to tell me, he would, I wouldn't force him to anything. Then, by Isco's request we visited Santiago Barnabéu, Real Madrid's stadium. I told him that it was a waste of time to go there since Isco is going to work there, of course he still wanted to go and well... I can't say no to him when his eyes are shining like that, it was irresistable the way his eyes looked at mine begging, hate that, I am the one who usually gets what he wants, but with Isco that was impossible. We went inside the stadium, and I'm going to be honest, even though I already went there a thousand times, I shivered as soon as I stepped in the lawn, Isco's mouth was widel open, he never saw nothing like that in his entire life, just amazing. We didn't spend much time there, we still wanted to visit the Museo del Prado, the Parque do Retiro (Jesé's favorite part of the city) and we wanted to watch the sunset in the Puerta del Sol, then we would have dinner nearby. When we finally reached the Puerta del Sol, there was still sunlight, they were so exausted, but it completly worth it, they had such a good time and everything was so beautiful, Madrid is indeed a beautiful city. 

As the sun was going down, my desire for Isco was getting bigger and bigger, I just wanted to press my lips in his. But I couldn't do that, I would ruin Isco's day, because after all, I know that he doesn't desire me. Thinking about that made me a bit sad but as soon as I saw Isco was looking at me with the brightest smile I ever saw, his eyes were shining like two diamonds, and after all the things I've seen today like the beautiful and crowded streets, the plazas, the Santiago Barnabéu's Stadium from inside, my favorite paintings in Museo do Prado, the wonderful Parque do Retiro where I spent so many important places, like my first kiss for example and the sunset in the Puertas del Sol, after all that, the best view I had that day, the one I'll always remember was that, the way he smiled, the way he was looking at me, in that moment all the dark thoughts flew away, it looked like they never existed at all. And in that moment I realized how fucked I was, I was madly in love with him. I was looking at him speechless, he looked so gorgeous, the silence was everything we got left, because no words were needed back then. That silence resumed for a while, but unfortunely, Isco broke it.

"Thank you so much Jesé, this day was one of the best days of my life and I owe you that. You are the best friend I could ever wish, I'm so glad I had the chance to meet you." after that, he hugged me tightly, I'm glad he did it, I didn't know what to say in that moment, I was completly red, I never heard something like that before, it felt so good. After a while he finally stopped hugging me, for my disappointment of course, and then he started once more to look at me like like he did before, I don't even know how I managed to control myself, all I wanted was to kiss him, to taste his soft and beautiful lips.

"Hey Jesé, are you okay?" he asked suddently worried.

"Wha-at? I'm fine! Just lost in my thoughts, the usual."

"Hmm ok.. If you say so.."

"I'm starving, let's have dinner please"

"Sure, let's go home"

"No no no! Our trip isn't over yet! I know a place nearby, let's go."

And as soon as I said that, I started walking, Isco was obviously confuse about my behaviour, though, he didn't ask anything, he just followed me."

When we arrived to the restaurant I couldn't believe in what my eyes were watching. Álvaro Morata was having dinner with a girl he never saw before.

They were holding hands under the table. Weird, I always thought Álvaro was into guys, but I was obviously wrong.

"ÁLVARO!" Isco screamed as soon as he saw him. He was now with the biggest smile I ever saw, even bigger than the one he had in the Puertas del Sol. In that moment everything made sence at least. How could I be so blind? Isco is into Morata all along. It was so obvious.. But I only understood everything in that moment when I saw Isco looking at Álvaro Morata like that. I couldn't held to feel abit angry and sad in that moment, jealousy took over the place, but I managed to hide it, I'm so good at hidding my feelings, I'm good at that since I remember.

"Hey Isco!" Álvaro was also smiling a lot, maybe a bit too much for my own taste and for someone who was straight and was with his girlfriend.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you thing dummy?! I'm having dinner with my gorgeous girlfriend. Maria, this is Isco, Isco, this is Maria" Álvaro said excited.

Isco was the first to answer.

"Oh, so you are the famous Maria that Álvaro doesn't shut up about! You are even more beautiful than he described, and believe me, I never saw someone using so many adjectives before." Isco had a huge smile on his face, though, I don't really know why, it didn't looked as natural as I was used to, it was kinda forced. Of course Maria didn't notice that, she was also smiling brightly, and her smile was so beautiful.. Álvaro really picked well this time. Even though I'm gay I still found her very attractive, she is one of the most beautiful women I ever saw.

She was also red like a tomato now, smiling to Isco and Álvaro now.

"Hi, you must be Isco! You should see the way Álvi talks about you. I would be very jealous if you were a girl" they laughed at that, but there was a moment when Isco's and Álvaro's eyes met, and in that moment, which nobody noticed except me, they shared an embarrassed eye contact, too embarrassed for the occasion.

"Hey Jesé" Álvaro greeted me politely, I greeted him back and then we shook hands.

"Wanna have dinner with us? We'd loved to have your company." Álvaro asked and looked to Maria, who nodded and asked us the same thing. Isco accepted right away, and his natural smile was back.

The dinner was really very nice and we had a great time. At the end of the dinner Isco and Maria were already best friends, they didn't shut up a bit, it was unbearable but cute, Álvaro was really happy about that, it was obvous that Álvaro loved her very much only by the way he looked at her, I got to admit, they are a very cute couple.

When it seemed that the day was over, Maria had the worst idea ever.

"Let's have a drink and dance!! There's a great bar nearby." she almost screamed from excitment. Oddly, Isco, who is a guy who doesn't like to go out usually, agreed right away almost as excited as she was.

I was so tired back then but I didn't complain, I knew it was worthless.

 

~~~

**Isco's POV**

 

I don't even know why I was so excited about going out, I usually hate it, but that time it was different, I really wanted to do it.

After ten minutes walking, we reached the bar. It was a bit small, though, it was very comfortable. We drank some tequilla shots and we talked, it was nice, I was having fun, but after ten minutes everything changed.

"This sucks, let's go to a disco, I really wanna have fun tonight" Álvaro said loudly, he was obviously bored.

Nobody complained, so, an half an hour later, we were entering at Teatro Kapital, the best disco in Madrid, or at least it's what Álvaro, Maria and Jesé, who are from Madrid, said. We drank some rounds of tequilla shots and we started dancing, I'm not very resistant to alcohol so I was already a bit drunk, I was really in a good mood. One of the things that I repaired is that many people looked at me more than once, girls and guys, the only difference was that te guys were a lot more discreet than the girls. Other thing I repaired was that here in Madrid nobody cares about privacy, there were people shamelessly making out in front of everyone, and in most cases curious hands were under the short closes they were wearing, but what most shocked me was a girl who should be 14 years old who was giving a blowjob to a man who was older than me, that was just disgusting. Álvaro and Maria were dancing together and I stared more than I should, I just couldn't held it, it was so hot, especially Álvaro, I wasn't expecting he knew how to dance. I was a terrible dancer but on the other hand Jesé was a terrific one, he was dancing with a shirtless man and he was having fun, I was glad to see him like that, I didn't saw him like that for a long time. After a while, I was already tired so I decided it was a good idea to seat for a while, it had been a really tiring and long day, but it was one of the best days of my life. I had the odd feliing that someone was staring at me, but I didn't dare to check if I was being watched, to be honest I was a bit scared. Fortunately, ten minutes later that seemed hours to me Jesé joined me with a smile from ear to ear and his face was covered in sweat, and I got to admit, he was really hot like that, he was clearly drank too much.

"Isco, there is something I need to tell you. I..." he started.

"Shut up Jesé, otherwise you'll probably say something that you might regret" I interrupted.

"Just because I'm a bit drunk doesn't mean it's not true what I want to tell you. I..." he started once more.

"Enough Jesé! You are completly drunk, you'll tell me what you want to tell me later if ou really want to, but you won't do it now. Come on, let's go home, it had been a long day, we are oth very tired" I interrupted again, only this time I was a lot more intimidating. He just nodded and looked to the floor thoughtful.

We said goodbye to Álvaro and Maria who kept dancing and headed to Jesé's place, and somehow, the feeling that I was being watched came back, and just to help the whole situation, Jesé puked on my brand new tennis and he could barely walk, I just wanted to go home.

When we finally arrived, I couldn't believe in my eyes once more.

"Hello Isco, missed me?"

It was Victória, I was completly shocked

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if it's possible to do what Isco and Jesé did that day, I never went to Madrid so I don't know how far the things are from each other (sorry if I offended anyine with my ignorance).  
> I want feedback plssssssss I would really appreciate it a lot :)))


	9. What a shock and what a perfect consolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victória made damages, huge damages, though, Jesé and mostly Álvaro Morata are able to help their beloved friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I only took two days (nights) to write this which is cool... It's the biggest chapter I wrote until now... Yup, I'm kinda proud, enjoy it!!

 

**Chapter Nine**

 

Isco was completly shocked, almost terrified.

"What was she doing here?"

How did she know where she could find me?"

Those were some of the thoughts that crossed Isco's mind right away, he was beyond scared, his eyes were wide. It looked like the worst nightmare he could have, it almost felt like none of that was real, that couldn't be real.

"I was expecting a warmer welcoming but that's alright. I'm here to..." she started but Isco interrupted right away.

"Fuck you Victória, I don't care about what you were waiting nor why you are here. You are completly wrong if you think that I somehow forgive you, I hate Victória, now, go fuck yourself far away from, I don't wanna see you again. Also, don't bother texting nor calling me anonymously, I don't fucking care about you, I just want you out of my life you cunt."

"Isco..." she tried to start talking again. She failed once more.

"No Victória, you know what? I loved you like I never did before, I gave you everything a men could give a woman, I loved you, I respected you, I held you, I bought all the expensive and dumb things you unnecessarily craved, I gave up on my friends because of you, because I ignored all the warnings they gave me about you, I was completly blind for you, you had me, I had you, and how did you repay me? By cheating on me with a guy that you said you barely knew! If you loved him I could understand and somehow forgive and respect you, but no, you had to cheated on me with a fucking strange, r! How do you think I felt? You destroyed me, now, now... I just want you out of my sight, now and for ever. You disgust me Victória..."

Isco's cheeks were red from anger.

"Well well Isco... That's no way to talk with the mother of your son... you gotta calm down, let's have a cup of tea at your lovely apartment, it's freezing here, you don't want the mother of your son to get sick... do you?" she said with a victory smile on her face.

Isco's jaw felt on the floor. No... that couldn't be true... He couldn't be a father, he couldn't had created a life with that monster, it was just impossible.

"You fucking liar, you fucking cunt...!  I can't be a father of your son, we haven't been together in the last four months."

"I haven't been with no one since you abandoned me in Málaga, so it's yours for sure."

"I don't fucking care, abort then, I'm not going to raise a child with you."

"Like you said, you've been away for four months... so... I can't abort now, we are having this baby, like it or not, he's our responsability now, you're not going to abandone me now, you can't do that, you are too good to do such thing"

Her smile was growing second after second, and that was driving Isco mad.

"I repeat because you didn't hear me properly... I'm not going to raise a child with you! I'll do everything for my son but I won't raise him with you, it wouldn't be healthy for him. We'll both raise him, but we'll do it separately, got it?!" he said that so intimidatingly that Victória was only able to nod slowly, she was terrefied of that Isco, she never saw him like that, in fact, she never thought that Isco, the most gentle, sweet and kind, could act that way, so angrily, so intimidatingly, full of hate in his eyes... and all that hate was chanelled to me.

"What am I going to do then? I have nowhere to go now, I spent all my money on the trip untill here." she asked scared, she didn't know what reaction Isco would have to that, she didn't want to be a homeless.

"I'll pay you the trip to Málaga, I just want you far away from me."

"What about the baby, if you really want to raise him he shouldn't live in Málaga, so far away from you... He'll need his father."

Isco knew that, he spent his childhood without his father, he knew how awfull it was, he would never do that to his son.

"You are right this time..." he started and Victória couldn't held to smile, she loved to be right and to win.

"But you won't live with me, that's for sure. I'll pay you an appartment or an hotel room, whatever you prefer. But that is the last think I'm going to pay you, you'll get a job and if you need money, go ask it to your parents."

She frozed when she heard that, that wasn't going the way she expected.

"Isco, I can't ask my parents anything, you know that I can't and I really want to give this baby the best life I can afford, but I know it's not enough, I need your help" she said and tears started falling. Isco just rolled his eyes bored, he knew that what she was saying was true. He was so tired and he only wanted her far way from him now, he couldn't look at her face for much longer.

"Okay you're right again, but you won't live with me, that's not gonna happen. I'm going to help you financially because it's the right think to do anf in this case it doesn't matter that you are a monster, it only matters that you are the mother of my son. Tonight you'll sleep in a hotel room and tomorrow we'll see where you'll leave. Take my card, the combination is the same."

She just nodded this time.

She grabbed his card and left.

"See you tomorrow Isco" se said sweetly, though, her words seemed poison to him.

"See you tomorrow Victória. And by the way, from now on... you'll call me Francisco, I'm only Isco for the ones I like and trust, bye" he said and she left defeated without replying, which made Isco smile, thing that he didn't do since he saw her.

Now that she was gone, Jesé, who hadn't talked since the argument started, finally openned his mouth.

"Isco... are you okay?"

Isco just looked at him and didn't say a word. After some time, Jesé hugged Isco tightly and Isco burst in tears.

"How can I be okay Jesé?! My life is ruinned! I can't be a father! I can't raise a fucking child with that monster. What am I gonna do?" he managed to say while crying hopelessly.

Jesé only hugged him more tightly, he knew that Isco needed him more than never, but the truth was that he didn't know what to say.

"Calm down Isco... Everything it's gonna be allright... You're going to be a terrific father, in fact, I envy that kid" he said and managed to smile.

Isco laughed at that.

"You're so stupid. Thank you for being here and helping me." he said and wiped his tears.

"Hey! What are friends for dumbass?! Let's go upstairs, I'm freezing here" he said and started to walk to the building. Isco grabbed him by his arm.

"No Jesé, you have been more than a friend." he said, he was calm and serious now, exactly how he got Jesé used to.

"What do you mean?" Jesé replyed confuse now, none of that made sense.

Isco didn't say nothing, he just approach Jesé and kissed his lips.

"What the..." Jesé tried to react but Isco stopped him right away.

"Shut up. I know that you want this a long time ago" he said and resumed kissing him, it was the only thing that he needed in that moment. Jesé didn't tried to resist again and kissed Isco back, it seemed like heaven.

The kissed ended and they stared at each other.

"What does this mean?" Jesé asked after a moment of silence.

"I don't know, but I liked it" Isco replyed, smiled and kissed him shortly.

"Let's go upstairs, I'm exhausted, we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?" Isco asked and there was a light on his eyes different from everythng he ever saw.

"Okay, let's go, but we'll talk about this tomorrow." Jesé was now very serious.

Isco just nodded and head to the building, he just wanted to sleep to clear everything on his mind and then he would do the right thing, like he always does.

 

~~~

 

**Jesé's POV**

 

I know it's lame, but I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss, I dreamed with it so many times but I never thought it would happen. It was weird to realize that the reality was better my dreams were. I woke up happy, genuinely happy, I can't remember the time I was this happy, I looked like the dumbest of the teenagers in love. I stayed in my bed thinking about it and sometimes giggling like a histerical girl, I just couldn't held it, I was so happy. I stayed like that until Isco entered in my room gently, calmly, with a shy smile on his face. When his eyes met mine his face changed suddently, he was still smiling, but now it seemed like it was comforting one, he was looking at me like I was a little puppy who's about to be sent to sleep.

"Jesé...." he started. I knew what was coming but I still had some hope.

"Look... I'm sorry... it was all a huge mistake, sorry if I gave you false hopes, I didn't mean it... I was drunk, I was emotionaly broken. I... I'm so sorry, I know that there is no explenation for what I''ve done. If you want me to leave your appartment I won't be mad or hurt, I completly get it, I shouldn't..." he was obviously trying to find words but he couldn't, I decided to interrupte him, I couldn't hear that any longer. I was at least disappointed but I hided that, it would only make it worse if I showed him how sad I was in that moment.

"Isco, seriously, it's okay, we all make mistakes, I trully don't mind it at all, we were both drunk..." I started but I got interrupted.

"Yes, but..." he mumbled.

"There are no buts Isco! It hapenned, yes? Is it going to change our relationship? I just really hope not, because I can't lose you,, you have no idea of how much you've been important to me, I'm so thankfull for that, if it wasn't you... I wouldn't be here, so... thank you for being here for me Francisco, thank you for being who you are. Right now, I just wanna help you the same way you helped me, we are going to fix this, everythings will be fine, I know it will."

He was the first one to burst in tears. His body was shaking because of his crying, I never thought I would see him like that, he was completly lost.

"I... just... don't know what to do Jesé.. my life... is ruined..." he hardly spoke while crying, I didn't knew what to do so thought it would be a good idea to give him a drink to calm him down. Decided against that, instead, I called Álvaro from Isco's phone, I knew that it would work.

"Hey Isco!" he said excited.

"It's not Isco, it's Jesé. Come to my apartment, Isco needs you."

"I'm already leaving my apartment, see you in ten minutes Jesé, try to help him while I don't get there."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" I replyed annoyed.

"Bye, hurry!" I said and hung up. Then I went to the living room, Isco was there crying in the sofa. I approached I'm slowly and when I was close enough I hugged him and I started to play with his hair.

"Shhhh.... Everything it's gonna be allright... You're going to be a terrific daddy... Your son will love you and you'll love him more than anything... Isco, everyone loves you, you are so loved... You are so perfect, you are so strong... everything will be allright..." I whispered to his ear softly and somehow that managed to calm him down for a while, though, he hugged me lightly and resumed crying, and that was fine, crying it's good for us. Exactly ten minutes after the call, I heard the foor knocking. He lift his head.

"Who is it? I don't want to be seen by anyone in this state." he said weakly because of all the crying.

"Don't worry, it's a visit for you, I'll open the door." I said gently and he just nodded, Álvaro was my last hope, I only wanted Isco to calm down, I was so worried about him.

I openned the door and Álvaro went right away to Isco, I didn't mind it, I would do the same thing if I was him.

"Isco..?" he said softly, Isco recognized the voice right away and lifted his gaze to see him, his eyes were red and wet because of the crying, that kinda shocked Álvaro but he managed to hide it, instead, he smiled soflty and approached Isco smoothly and sat by his side, I just stood there watching the whole thing quiet.

"What's happening mate? I don't like to see you like that" he said and forced a smile, Isco smile back weakly.

"I'm going to be a father with a woman I hate" he said and tears started to fall.

"Will you have to live with her?"

"No" he said without looking at  him

"Will you love your child?"

"Of course" he replyed once more but he wasn't still looking at him.

"Then... it won't be a problem for you Isco" he said and smiled him soflty- "You'll be a great father. And you know why? Because you are a good person, do never doubt it Isco, because no one else will" he said strongly and Isco finally looking at him. "No one will...." he said again and kissed his forhead, Isco smiled at that, it was so obvious that he loved Álvaro, you could tell it just by the way he looks at him. Álvaro looked at me shortly and whispered.

"Thank you for calling me"

"Thank you for coming so quickly" I said and he nodded before he turned to Isco again and started kissing his hair. Isco smiled and placed his head on Álvaro's head, I was relieved to see that, though, I couldn't help to be a bit jealous, I envied the way Isco felt about Álvaro.

"Are you hungry? I can make you lunch if you want" Álvaro said and kissed his hair once more.

"Please, I'm starving"

"Okay, but you'll owe me a nice meal then" he joked and left to the kitchen.

After he left I went to his side and petted his shoulder.

"You know what Jesé?" he asked.

"What?" I asked him back.

"You are the best" he said and he placed his head on my lap. I smiled at that.

"Do you love him?

"Who?" he asked even though he knew who he was talking about.

"Álvaro" I said simply.

"I don't know, but he's good for me, good in a way nobody can be" he said and blushed lightly.

I just nodded at that, he didn't have to say anything else, I understood what he meant, I felt the same way about Isco.

While Álvaro was cooking in the kitchen me and Isco started to watch The Big Bang Theory, I didn't like it, but I knew that always make Isco laugh and relax for a while. When the second episode we were watching finished Álvaro yelled from the kitchen that the lunch was ready, I knew that it was a matter of minutes until that because I could already feel the delicious smell from the kitchen.

"Smells wonderfully!" Isco said loudly, which scared the shit out of me.

When we entered in the kitchen and saw the food my jaw fell to the ground, I wasn't expecting that Álvaro knew how to cook.

"Well, it's home made lasagna, I know it's your favourite Isco" he said and smiled widely "Hope you'll enjoy it"

"Well well, who would say that Álvaro Morata knew how to cook... I'm very impressed, it looks and it smells very well,let's eat!" Isco said and smiled widely

"Let's eat, but before, we'll pray" Álvaro said and closed his eyes, my jaw was on the floor, I never expected that either.

"JUST KIDDING" Álvaro said and burst in laughing, Isco was the next one and well, I couldn't help to laugh too, it was indeed very funny and convincing.

The meal tasted even better than how it looked and how it smelled, and believe, that was an acomplishment. In the end, there wasn't any lasagna left, we hate everything and now we could barely move, my stomach was so heavy I couldn't breath properly.

"Wow" I finally said and Álvaro laughed at that and blushed a bit, he wasn't expecting that we would like it so much, I wasn't expecting to enjoy it either, I can't remember to eat something so delicious, it was even better than my mom's lasagna, and until that moment, I thought that it was impossible. We stayed for a whie with our thoughts until Isco broke the silence we were so deep in.

"FUCK!!" he screamed.

"What's wrong?!?!?!" me and Álvaro asked at the same time.

"I promised to Victória that today I would help her finding a place to live here in Madrid.." he sounded annoyed, like he came back to reality.

"Why isn't she staying in Málaga?" Álvaro asked inocently.

"Because I want to raise my son too and I can't do that miles away from him. Also I can't go back to Málaga."

"Why not?" Álvaro asked right away, to be honest, he was being too curious for my taste, he had nothing to do with that, though, I was also curious.

"I just can't, there are too much memories there... Also, I have a new life here now, I have a job, I have friends, and most importantly, I have you" he said and blushed in the last moment. I just wanted to hug him in that moment, he looked so adorable, unfortunately, Álvaro did it first.

"You want me to go with you?" he asked?

"Are you serious?!" he asked surprised.

"Of course I am!" he replyed sweetly.

"Thank you so much, it will be great " he was now smiling ear to ear, he looked very relieved because he hadn't to deal with all that situation on his own.

"I would go to but I promised to Marcelo that I would visit him today. We're going out later, wanna go with us?" I kinda felt guilty about it but it was the third time Marcelo was asking me to meet and he made it clear that I had no choice.

"I don't know Jesé... I'll call you later to make you know if I will or not, is that okay?" he look like a puppy who just pooped on the rug, he's so adorable, I just couldn't be madd at him.

"Oh it's fine, call me later then! I'm leaving to Marcelo's bye!" I said and I left right away I was already late.

 

~~~

 

**Álvaro's POV**

 

 After Jesé left the appartment me and Isco started to wash the dishes. He looked a bit hurry and I noticed that his hands were shaking a bit, that was weird, I thought he was already calm, guess I was wrong, I knew I had to interfere. I putted my hand on his and I looked him in the eyes.

"Isco, what's wrong? I thought you were calmer" I said and in that moment his gaze returned to the dishes, he kept his mouth shut and his hands started shaking uncontrollably and he let one cup he was washing fell to the ground, worse, one shard stick in my leg and it started to bleed a bit, it hurt like a bitch. Isco's eyes were wide. I knew he was in shock so I did my best to remain calm.

"SORRY ÁLVI!!" he screamed histerically. I took a deep breath before opening my mouth to talk.

"It's okay Isco, don't were, just bring me a first aid kit" I did an inhuman effort not to raise my tone, though, I got used to the pain, it wasn't that bad, or at least I hoped it wasn't. Forty five seconds later Isco was already in front of me treating my wound. First, he removed very carefully the shard from my leg, which made it bleed even more. Then, he fastly put a ligature on my wound. I got to admit, he was really good, I was impressed by how fastly he managed to fix the mess he made. He cleared his throat:

"Sorry... I only screw up..."

"Hey, it's okay... everybody makes mistakes..."

"Shut up Hannah Montana, I'm serious" he said and as much as he tried to look serious, he laugh, laugh more than anybody should laugh from his own joke, that was how Isco was. I couldn't help to laugh too, in fact, we couldn't stop laughing, it came to the point that we were both laughing like to maniacs on the floor in the middle of the shards, I could not even remember why was I laughing to be honest, I just couldn't stop laughing and neither could Isco. We stayed like that more than we should but somehow we managed to stop when Isco looked to his watch and frowned.

"Fuck" he said still laughing a bit, though, more controllably now.

"What's up dude?" I said still laughing as I removed the tears from laughing of my face.

"Victória is arriving any time" he said and sighed loudly. I petted his shoulder and kissed his ear, what a dumb thing to do to comfort someone, though, it somehow worked. I removed the glasses from the floor while Isco went to his room to change his cloth. In the exact moment Isco arrived the kitchen the bell rang, Isco sighed deeply and went to the door slowly.

"Hi Isco" she said smiling a bit too much, What the fuck?! Was she trying to be cute or something? She could stop because it was worthless.

"Hey Victória. What have I told you about Isco...?" Isco said annoyed.

"Sorry... Hi Francisco." she said and blushed lightly, she looked like a dumb teenage girl was talking with her crush for the first time. Isco sighed.

"Come on in, want a coffe?" Isco said and rolled his eyes, he couldn't be more effortless.

"Oh, that would be lovely." she said and entered, and from the moment she entered and saw me, her posture changed drastically, like she totally didn't care about the whole situation and that my presence was somehow annoying her. I ignored it.

"Who is he?" she asked to Isco and pointed to me, did not even looking at me. I decided to talk first, I wasn't going to give her a chance to be rude to me.

"I'm Álvaro" I said more shyly than I should, she smiled at that, but it was an empty smile, she was looking at me like she was studying my facial expression, in fact, it looked like she was studying me, that really made me feel very uncomfortable.

"Victória! Don't be fucking rude to Álvaro or I'll show you the way out, I don't fucking care if you sleep in the streets"

"Hey calm down drama queen, didn't meant to be rude to your friend... Álvaro?" she said and raised her hand, I nodded and we shook hands. She pressed my hand in a way that was everything less friendly and looked at me with disgust and contempt. Didn't care, what did Isco see in here? What an awfull first impression, I couldn't wait until the minute she would leave. When she finally let me go she turned to Isco and smile brightly, what was wrong with her? Has she got a mental disorder or something?

"So... Victória... have you got anything planned right now?" Isco said annoyed as he gave her a cup of coffee.

"Yes!" she said and her eyes were shining "I want to live here, with you" she said and hugged Isco, who pushed her right away.

"Get off Vitória. I made it clear yesterday that I didn't want to see your face, do you really expect that I want to live with you after everything you've done?" he said that and he almost looked offended, though, he managed to keep his tone low but he was obviously beyond mad.

"I thought that it was the anger talking but now I guess that I was wrong... I just wanna stay here so we can raise our son *together*" she said and she was now looking at the floor embarrassed.

"Yeah you got it all wrong, it's your fault, not mine, I made my intemtions very clear. Here, take my laptop and see apartments and hotel rooms that seem okay to you, though, remember I'm not fucking rich and you are probably going to sell a lot of your wardrobe to sustent our son financially too, I'm not doing it on my own. Oh, and you better find a job and talk with your parents, I'm not going to pay more than two rents, I am not kidding, you know I'm capable to do that. In the worst of the scenarios I'll take care of my son on my own here in Madrid and you'll come back to Málaga, and when our son will ask about you, I'll tell him that you died in a car accident because after all you're his mother and I don't want him to hate his mother, it wouldn't be healthy for him" he said everything calmly and in the end he handed her his laptop, didn't even blink, I was impressed, I never thought Isco could behave like that.

She searched for a while and she was already looking frustraded, I couldn't help to smile at that, her face was priceless.

"Isco, the closest house from yours is four miles away and it's rent is very expensive!" she said and Isco looked to the computer screen.

"No way I'm going to pay that rent for a single month, you're nuts! Look at this one, it's fifteen blocks away and it's affordable. Deal?"

"I want that one!" she screamed, I sighed.

"No way Victória, not gonna happen." I said strongly. Victória looked at me like a badly dead sheep and Isco looked at her full of contempt. After five minutes of that, Victória finally gave up and turned her gaze to me full of hate, didn't bothered me, though, he scared me a bit, what a freak. She moved her gaze to Isco again and smiled sweetly again, I was sick of that stupid smile, I just wanted to punch her right in the face.

"Okay, whatever you want my love" she said softly.

"Nice, I'll call the owner of the apartment and I'll give you the key of it as soon as I have it. Now leave, your face is annoying me, bye" he said harshly, which she deserved.

"Bye Isco, see ya later" she said sweetly once more, she was so annoying!!

"Really hope it won't be that soon, go away!" he was out of control in the end so I decided to hug him as soon as Victória left. Isco sighed deeply and accepted my embrace.

"I'm so tired" he said frustraded.

"Hey it's okay, I'll stay with you until tomorrow since Jesé is going to go out tonight. Is that okay to you?"

"Yes please, I don't wanna go out but I also can't be on my own now. Sorry I'm bothering you again, I'm always bothering and you are always so nice for me."

"There there..." I said and I played with his hair until he fell asleep. I turned the tv on and I kept playing with Isco's hair, he looked so adorable sleeping, it seemed like he was finally in peace. I wonder what was he dreaming about...

~~~

 

As soon as Isco woke up, he looked at Álvaro who was still playing with his hair. He looked so beautiful, Isco thought, in fact, he always does. Everything seemed allright when to Isco when he was with Álvaro, it was like everything made sence when they were with each other, mostly when they were alone. His existance made mine have more sence, all the pieces of the puzzle fit, everything was perfect... When Álvaro noticed that Isco was now awoke he looked at him embarrassed and stopped playing with Isco's hair. He rose from the sofa and went to the kitchen, he was going to make the dinner Isco guessed. Isco didn't join him, he kept on the living room and started to watch Real Madrid's game, they were winning 2-0 against Eibar and the match was only at the fifteenth minute, two goals from Cristiano Ronaldo, he was completly on fire. As soon as I told Álvaro the match score he runned from the kitchen and hugged me tightly, he had a bright smile on his face, brighter than my future, that wasn't an accomplishment though. The dinner was spaghetti with tuna and a delicious sauce, that Álvaro refused to tell how he made it, he said that it was a secret and that if he told Isco it would be no longer a secret. When we finished the meal we went straight to the living room to watch the second half of the match. It ended 5-1 and Cristiano scored an hat-rick, Benzema and Modric also scored for the Merengues. After the game finished they decided to play fifa. Isco on the three matches they made and Álvaro used the "I'm tired, if not I would kick your ass" excuse and Isco only laughed and told him that they would play again soon to see if Álvaro was speaking the truth or if he was just a liar who is clueless about how you should play fifa. They had nothing less to do so they decided it would be a good idea to watch a movie. Well, Jesé lived on his own so he only had a sofa, and Isco and Morata both wanted to watch the movie lying on the couch, so they both did it. Isco had his head placed on Álvaro's chest and he wraped his arms around him, the truth is that none of them complained about the whole situation. They were both so comfortable and they were both so tired that they barely watched thirty minutes of the film before they fell asleep in that sweet embrace, everything was perfect and Isco finally felt safe for a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey!! Really hope you liked this chapter! I really want to know you're opinion about it and I wanna hear all your suggestions, so please, give me your feedback!!  
> I'll update as soon as I can but it won't be as big as this one probably!  
> See you later :))


	10. Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big amount of bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck yeah chapter 10!!!!! So happy, never thought I would make this far.  
> I forgot to tell you that Isco has a sleeping disorder

 

**Chapter Ten**

 

Álvaro Morata is the person you wont like for sure at first sight, he looks like the most arrogant person in the face of the Earth and sometimes he really is. After the first sight if you aren't gone alreay you have the chance to meet one of the best people you'll ever met allthrough your life. Kind, relaxed (too much sometimes), one of the most charming people you'll met, empathetic, extroverted, perfect to hang out with, it's someone who likes to make everyone feel comfortable around him, he doesn't judge people by their looks (mostly because he knows how it feels like), he's a winner. Those are some of the qualitys you can point at him, though, the one that mark him the most but only a few people know it, is that Álvaro is very genuine person, even though he doesn't show it, even though he acts like he's an empty person, he's not. He had suffered a lot allthrough his life, but he was a winner, nothing could bring him down, at least not for long, he knew how to keep his emotional balance.

Though, nobody is perfect, and Álvaro Morata is not an exception. He's stubborn, he is cocky, he demands atention, when he talks, everyone had to listen to him, he was lazy, he is too sarcastic when he's mad, he is childish, he had the need to have the last word and to be always right, he didn't know how to behave in tense situations, he can be annoying as hell, he uses other people to get what he wants and he has difficulty to admit that he ha made something wrong, in fact, he tends to lie a lot when the true doesn't suit him, he just can't help it, it's the way he is and even though he tries to change it he just can't. That is probably is worst defect he has but he also has a lot more. Though, in the end, everyone that really knows Álvaro Morata knows that he is an awesome human beeing, a loyal friend and lover and that he is irresistible. A weird fact about Álvaro Morata is that he had never been the one who falls in love with the person he dates, it's always the opposite and he only dated them to entertain himself, the first person that he really loved is Maria, he really likes her and he doesn't even know why, he thinks that it's because they really look alike, they're a like the version of each other in different genders, though, Álvaro couldn't help to feel that something was missing, he needed something more perhaps. He ignored those thoughs, he knew how to do it, as it was said before, Álvaro is very ballanced emotionally, though, there is no way to remain balanced with what was about to happen...

 

  ~~~

 

It was about four o' clock in the morning when Isco woke up. The sky was still dark of course, everything was. Isco let himself that moment, it felt so good in Álvaro's arms, he felt safe, far away from everything else, from what bothers him. He stayed that way, but after a while he felt the urge to go to the toilet and he wasn't that comfortable anymore. Het got off Álvaro's embrace smoothly, not waking him up and walked without making a sound until the bathroom. After that, he went to the kitchen to have a glass of water, he was really thirsty. When he entered in the kitchen his heart skiped a bit as soon as he saw Jesé there, he hadn't hear him entering at his apartment, he was stinking of alcohol, he looked like he was going to throw up at any time.

"Jesé?! What the fuck dude?!" Isco asked harshly. He was really worried about Jesé, he never saw anyone that drunk before.

"Hey Isco, what's up?" he said smilling weirdly before falling in the ground very hardly. That one must hurt.

Isco runned to him and kneeled right in front of him.

"Are you allright?" he managed to keep his tone low because he didn't want to wake up Álvaro who was still sleeping on the couch. Jesé didn't answer but turned to him smilling widely. Isco slapped him but that didn't bothered Jesé at all, he kept smiling, it seems like he was in another place that wasn't his apartment. That only worried Isco even more, who decided to take him to the bathroom to make him throw up, Isco made it to the bathroom and when they reached it Isco made Jesé kneel in front of the toilet and put two finger inside his mouth. It was disgusting, there was puke all over the place and Jesé was crying now, what a nightmare.

"Isco I'm so sorry" he mumbled as he tried to hug. Jesé's face was a mix of vomit and tears, Isco really like him but right now he looked disgusting, he didn't wasnt him to aproach him so he deviate from him, which made Jesé to lose his balance and to go against the wall with all his strenght, that one would leave a mark. 

"Fuck! Sorry Jesé, I'll fix this" he said in an effort to calm Jesé was really disturbed right now, blood mixed with tears and vomit, what a combination. Isco made Jesé took a shower with his cloth on to clean his body and to calm him down, he needed Wh Jesé to comeback to his sence. Unfortunately, Jesé pulled Isco to himself and they both fell in the bathtub, so they noth ended up taking a shower, which calmed Isco a bit, he was really stressed. They were now completly wet and clean, but Jesé wasn't still in itself, he kept mumbling things that Isco could not understand and he could barely walk. Isco treated the wound that Jesé had in his forehead and then he stared at him, he was quiet now and was looking to no where, he looked so broken, so sad... Isco couldn't help to cry, he hated to see him like that, it was unbearable. Jesé was lying on the floor, barely awake, so Isco thought it would be a good idea to take him to his own room so he could get some sleep. They were going to talk about what happened in this night in the next day, Jesé had a lot to explain, he can't just get drunk and then comeback to his apartment, where he knew Isco was, and behave like that, Isco was scarred to death, he was really worried and terrefied with what could happen. What he didn't knew was how did Jesé return to his apartment in that state, the club he went is not far away but it required a fifteen minute walk to someone who was completly sober, a walk that was very dangerous for someone who was in Jesé's state because from the club to the house you had to cross the street several times. Then he remembered that he went out with Marcelo, who might helped him returning home, Isco realized in that moment that he also had to have some words with Marcelo tomorrow. When they reached Jesé's room Isco put Jesé in his bed gently and returned to the living room, though, before he could leave the division, Jesé grabbed Isco's arm and pushed him to the bed, he managed to do that harshly but at the same time gently. He tried to leave but after a while he understood that he had no choice, he would spend the night there, or at least until Jesé fell asleep. Isco turned to him and gently started to play with Jesé's hair softly, then he placed his arms around him and even though he couldn't see his face, he knew he was smiling in that moment. He rested his head on Jesé's back and start to whisper sweet and gentle words to his ear, Jesé giggled sometimes, he was way calmer now. In the last minutes Jesé kept awake he only said one sentence, though, that sentence remained in Isco's head for a long time.

"Isco, I love you, thank you for everything" that was it, Isco blushed at that.

"Shut up you drunk asshole, we are having a big talk tomorrow, don't even think of getting rid of it." he said and placed a kiss on his back.

"Yes I'm drunk, but tomorrow I wont be drunk and tomorrow I'll still love you." he only said and Isco didn't dared to talk back, he wanted Jesé to fall asleep, he needed to rest. When he finally fell asleep ten minutes later that seemed an hour, Isco managed to leave the room without Jesé noticing it. It was a quarter to seven when he came back to the living room, where Álvaro was still sleeping peacefully, he looked like an angel Isco thought.

 

~~~

 

Isco didn't fall asleep later, he just couldn't, his sleeping disorder was getting worse day after day, he could barely sleep now and his worry towards Jesé wasn't helping at all. Seeing him in that state, so drunk, so lost but what really bothered him was to see how broken he was, he never saw anybody looking that miserable, why was he miserable? Isco thought that he really managed to get Jesé better and that he was actually happy, though, he couldn't be more wrong, his effort seemed somehow useless to him from the moment he saw Jesé like that. Something really had to change before it was to late. All he could do now was to wait until Jesé woke up.

From the kitchen Isco heard some footsteps in his direction, he hoped it was Jesé, he was feeling a big urge to talk to him, he was beyond worried. Unfortunately, it wasn't Jesé, it was Jesé the one who entered in the kitchen still sleepy, rubbing his eyes. He aproached Isco slowly, before he could notice it, they were almost touching themselves, Isco was a bit intimidated but he didn't move.

"Morning" he said and yawned, that made Isco yawn too, he hated to yawn.

"Morning, wanna have breakfast? I hadn't had it already so I can join you." he said shyly, like it was a big deal for him to have breakfast.

"Yes please, I'm starving, also, wouldn't reject your company" he said and put his hand on Isco's arm, which made Isco even more uncomfortable, Isco didn't like physical contact very much. Hadn't he got a girlfriend? Wasn't he straight? Then why was him flirting him so much? He then realized that he was making a big deal out of it, Álvaro was just playing around for sure he thought. He openned the fridge and blushed from embarrassment, there was nothing they could actually eat, he forgot to go to the supermarket. Álvaro couldn't help to laugh at Isco's sudden red face.

"What's wrong?" Álvaro asked even though he knew what was going on.

"There's nothing we can eat, I forgot to go to the supermarket with the last events... sorry..." he said and looked to the floor, he was too embarrassed to look at Álvaro's beautiful big brown eyes.

"It's okay, we'll buy something now." he said and petted Isco's shoulder, he didn't want Isco to feel bad.

"It's eight o' clock, everything is closed right now you dummy." he said and managed to laugh a bit, at least Álvaro tried to make him feel better.

"Let me see what you have around here ten..." he said after a moment of silence in which he thought in a solution, he was indeed hungry but his priority now was to make Isco feel better.

Álvaro gathered all the things that were eatable on the table and frowned, maybe he could make something with that. He had no milk but he had oranges, so Álvaro made orange juice, then, he hadn't had any bread which was the major problem, though, he had the ingridients to make bread, so Álvaro made an amount of bread that suited perfectly for their needs, it didn't taste very well but at least is was eatable. He used that bread to make two sandwiches with salad, some tona that left from yesterday's dinner and with melted cheese. It wasn't much but it was what he was able to do with what he had, and even though Álvaro was very skeptical about it Isco loved it and felt a little more relieved npw that he knew that Álvaro wouldn't starve to death because of him.

"Dude, do you actually eat when you're home alone?" Álvaro asked a bit concerned.

"Yeah sure, not much but I do, though, lately things got a bit complicated so..." he didn't finished the sentence but Álvaro nodded, he got it completly, he would to the same if he was him probably. Who wouldn't? They spent the next few hour chating about preety much everything, but mostly about what happened last night. Morata was clearly worried too but he did an effort for Isco not to show how worried he was. He told him that he shouldn't make a big deal out of it, that everything was going to be allright and that perhaps what happened was just a one time thing and that wouldn't repeat again. Of course that didn't convinced nor comfortaded Isco, he was the one who had seen Jesé last night, he was the one to see his state, the pain in his eyes... he could still remember it and see it everytime he closed his eyes. Fortunately, Álvaro managed to calm Isco, he always does, when he was with Álvaro his problems disappeared for a while, it seemed like they never existed at all, he felt so comfortable, like he was exactly where he was supposed to be, it was weird to feel so dependent about anyone, especially for Isco, was naturally very independent. It was a quarter to midday when Álvaro's phone rang, they completly lost the notion of time while they talked, they have no idea it was that late. So it was Maria, they had made a reservation in a fancy restaurant and Maria was already there for about ten minutes, he was screwed. He yelled fuck for at least five times until leaving the apartment, not giving Isco a chance to say thank you, he was really agitated, so agitated he forgot his jacket at the appartment, Isco only sighed when he found it on the living room floor, he is so distracted...

When he was by himself, he understood that Jesé was still sleeping, he hade to wake him up, but before, he went to the supermarket to make some shopping, he wouldn't feel that embarrassed again. When he returned home, it was already twenty past one, Jesé was still sleeping, Isco knew that he had to make something now, anxiety was killing him, he had to have words with him as fast as possible, it was the only way to release the weight from his chest. He went to Jesé's room, decided to wake him up, but when he saw him sleeping, so cute, so armless and with a dumb smile on his face... Isco didn't have the heart to wake him up as much as he wanted to. He sat on his bed beside him, and when he did, he sat above something that made him jump from the bed, he took him a while to realize what it was, it was Jesé's phone! Isco had an idea right away, he would call Marcelo and ask him to go here. He called him several times but he wasn't picking up the phone, Isco didn't care, he kept calling him, he would do it until Marcelo picked up the phone. At the twelfth try Marcelo finally picked up the phone.

"Hey Jesé, what's up dude? You  awoke me you piece of sheet" he was really sleep and kinda looked angry because he woked him up, Isco didn't know him very well but he didn't care.

"It's not Jesé, I'm Isco, Jesé's friend, the one who's living at his apartment. So... I'm basically calling you because Jesé arrived yesterday completly drunk and broken at his apartment and he's still sleeping but I really have to know everything about last night. Can you come over, please? I would be forever thankfull." Isco sounded kinda desesperated, but in fact, he was desesperated.

"Ohhhh.... so you are Isco...! Sure, I'll be there as soon as possible. Gotta hang up, bye!"  Marcelo said and hanged up right away.

Isco was now a little bit more relieved, he really hoped that Marcelo would help him to understand this whole situation a little better, by talking with Marcelo, he would know everything about what happened last night. It took twenty minutes for Marcelo's arrival, but Isco knew that it would worth the wating, before Marcelo could talk Isco bombarded him with questions.

"What happened yesterday? How did he reached that state? What did he say? Were you with him all along? Did Jesé make anything stupid? How did he manage to return home?" he asked without breathing meanwhile. Marcelo wasn't' seeing that one coming, he was nervous now, he didn't knew how or where to start.

"Chill bro, seriously, calm down. Otherwise, I wont be able to say a word and that way I can't help you." Isco knew he was right, he was way too nervous, het needed to calm down immediately.

"Sorry you are absolutly right, I gotta chill, want a cup of tea? I'll have one to calm myself."

"Yes, sure, I've heard that it is good for hungover"

"It is, come with me, we'll have one in the kitchen while you explain everything, then I'll have a big conversation with Jesé..."

"It's okay for me, let's go."

They went straight to the kitchen and Isco started to warm the water until it was very hot, he liked really hot tea.

"So... I know it's hard for you... but... can you tell me exactly what happened last nght?" he said and said in a chair, welcoming Marcelo to sit in another beside that one, Marcelo reffused.

"Well... basically Jesé drank a bit too much... nothing more..." he said with his head low, looking to the floor.

"Come on Marcelo, even you know that is the worst lie ever... I need you to tell me the truth... otherwise I wont be able to help Jesé and I honestly fear the worst right now. Please Marcelo,  help me, you are my last hope." Isco said as he grabbed both Marcelo's hands, his hands were now shaking, he was really nervous but he knew that he had to remain calm before he could hear the truth. Marcelo finally opened his mouth.

"Okay you are right... sorry I tried to hide the truth, but the truth he's not pretty. So... yesterday Jesé called me, saying that he needed to have some fun, that he wanted to go to his favourite club and to drink a bit just to let it go for a while. I agreed, I thought there was no problem, couldn't bee more wrong. As soon as we got in the club Jesé started to drink like a maniac, he didn't stop, and believe me, I tried my best to stop him, though, there was nothing I could do that would stop him, he was unstoppable that night. At first, he only got a bit happier and  more extrovert, didn't mind but I kept an eye on him. But unfortunately, in the whole night, there was a short period of time in which I got dstracted, in that period, Jesé probably drank more because when I met him he was unrecognizable from the last time I saw him, he was crying, he kept mumbling sentences in which I could only understant Isco and other words which I can't remember very well, he was basically saying that he loved you but you didn't love him back, he was broken. He got kicked out from the club and I took him to his apartment, though, he didn't let me climb the stairs because he wanted to enter in the house without making a sound. In the way back home he kept crying and resumed his mumbling which I couldn't understand at all. Isco, he needs you, he needs your love, please, you are the only one who can bring Jesé back, I fear the worst right now too." he said has he drank his way too hot tea, hands shaking and tears wanting to come out. Isco just kept calm even though he wanted to burt into teas.

"How am I suppose to help him? I would do everything for him, everything!"

"I don't know, just don't let him get off of your sight because at least when he is with you, he is able to be happy, that was one of the things he said that a I managed to catch up"

"Fuck.... thank you Marcelo, you were really very useful, you can leave after having your tea, I'm really grateful you had the courage to tell me everything you knew."

"In fact Isco... there is one thing I didn't tell you..." he said and sighed deeply. "Jesé tried to be runned over by a car, fortunately, I was able to pull him before it was too late, right now, Jesé could be dead." he said and the tears that he was holding finally escaped, Isco froze.

"You can leave now... uhhh.... thank you... comeback everytime you want, bye" Isco said and managed to smile, then he led him to the door, Marcelo left without saying a word. When he left Isco lay down and started to cry, he had no clue about what he should do, it was even worse than what he thought, he resumed crying and only stopped when there were no tears left to cry. He had to talk with Jesé nowm he knew that that couldn't wait anymore. He went to the bathroom to wash his face and then he went straight to Jesé's room. Jesé was seated on his bed, wide awake, a week smile emerged on his face, he was pale, he almost looked like he was somehow sick.

"Hey" Isco said sweetly as he aproached him slowly.

"Hey" he just said without looking at him.

"We need to talk about last night..."

"What about it?"

"You know what I mean... what happened last night?

"Nothing... I mean... I drank a little bit too much, that's it"

"Jesé...." Isco growled at him, he was sick of lies.

"Allright... I got drunk on purpose"

"Why would you do that?" Isco said and aproached even more, they were now almost touching themselves, only a few milimetres separating them.

"To forget about you?" he finally confessed.

"Why would you do that Jesé?"

"Because you don't love me back, and you'll never know..."

"Jesé, I absolutly adore you, you are a big deal for me, I really admire you and respect you, but right now, I don't love you, But you're right, I get your point, tomorrow I'll be already gone, I'm not good for you right now." Isco said and did his best to keep his tears away. He failed, he knew that everything was his fault. Jesé didn't say nothing, he just stayed there, looking at no where in particular. Isco decided to leave.

"Sorry Jesé, it's all my fault"

"Isco...." he said and Isco turned to him again.

"What?" I almost whispered, words didn't want to leave his mouth properly.

"Will you ever love me?" he said hopeless.

"I don't know Isco, I can't control my feelings, maybe I'm just not ready to start another relationship. I'm still forgeting my last one and I'm going to be a father, love is just not a priority right now"

"Love is always the priority Isco, do never forget that"

"Good bye Jesé, I'm sorry I made you suffer." he said and left Jesé's room to let him rest, he really had a big hungover and he looked tired. Isco gathered all his stuff and left the aparment that had been his home in the last months, he couldn't help to get emotional, he thought that he would only leave this house when Jesé was allright, but now that he did, Jesé's was more broken than he had ever been, and he was that way because of him. He felt like he failed as a friend and in all the other ways a human beeing can fail to another. When he entered in his own apartment he had the weird feeling that he didn't belong there anymore, it didn't feel like he was home. He felt empty, why was he feeling that way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an answer to the last question of this chapter and Isco will find it very soon.  
> Don't like this, I pictured this chapter much better, sorry it sucks, I'll try to compensate you later.


	11. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was in the middle of this and I lost everything, it gets better, what I wrote then is way worse and took twice of the time cause I tried to remember what I wrote before.... I love my life...!  
> So that way this is a bit hushed but I hope you'll like it :///

 

**Chapter Eleven**

 

The next days passed slowly for Isco and Jesé, they both felt miserable, empty. Isco spent his days alone at his apartment, crying, regreting to leave Jesé's apartment and avoiding his own thoughts without sucess. On the other hand, Jesé spent those days drinking, sometimes at home, sometimes at a bar nearby and sometimes in his favourite club. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Marcelo, who was more worried about him day after day, unable to make him stop. Jesé didn't considere himself an alchohol addicted, he felt like he could stop anytime he wanted, but why would he? He felt so good when he drank, he forgot what bothered him, he felt happy, loose, he felt free, free from the reality, from his thoughts, free from himself... The best part was that he forgot about Isco's absence, he missed him so much, he just wanted him to comeback, he didn't mind anymore that he didn't love him back, he just wanted Isco's presence, his absence was killing him slowly inside. The worst part was probably hungover and the comeback to reality, he always woke up with a bloodcurdling headache, he took some painkillers but it took a while until the pain was fully gone. Isco was starting to freakout, mostly because of his lack of sleep. He didn't talk to anyone since his departure from Jesé's apartment, not even with Álvaro, he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts even though he knew that deep inside he didn't want it at all, his thoughts were driving him crazy. It had been almost a week since he left Jesé's apartment and he hadn't got news from him since that day. Many questions passed his mind meanwhile: Was he allright? Did he drank again? Was he eating properly? Did he hate him? Was he alive? The last question made him shiver, cry without control, he would never forgive himself if something happened to him while he was absent, it would be his fault.

Isco woke up Sunday morning covered up in sweat, he barely slept that night, like he didn't in the previous ones. He had nightmares about Jesé every nights. His mother told him to have sleeping pills but he refused the idea right away, he didn't want to take them, he didn't want to get addicted to them like everyone else who had them. He did his usual morning routine, but that day, when he finished his breakfast, he just stayed in his chair looking around. He didn't know why, but he didn't feel like he was at home there since he arrived there from Jesé's home, he felt like that that apartment didn't belong to him anymore, he felt like it belonged to anyone else that wasn't him. He couldn't understand that feeling because he once felt at home there and it was exactly like it was when he was living there before going to Jesé's, but now it seemed different to him, perhaps... was he the one who had changed and not the apartment? That feeling was haunting him, overwhelming him, he was unable to ignore it, he just wanted it to go away, but he refused to leave his mind, it was destroying him. In a failed attempt to escape his thoughts, Isco checked his email and one grabbed his attention, it was from Real Madrid.

_"Dear Francisco Alarcón, it's our pleasure to tell you that tomorrow at half past eight in the morning, we'll need your presence at our installations to start working for us. We are delighted to count with your services in our  business, so we hope you will be present tomorrow at half past eight at eighth floor, you will only start work at ten o' clock but we want to be sure you'll meet the work conditions properly before you start working for us._

_We wish you the best of lucks during the time you'll work for us and if you ever feel uncomfortable with your work conditions we would be very glad to be the firsts to know . That way we'll be able make our best to change the situation in order to provide you the best enviroment to work._

_With our best regards, Real_ Madrid _'s_ _admistration."_

Isco sighed deeply when he finished reading that emails.

"Fuck! Like I needed anything else to make my life worse!" he screamed. It had been a while since he last spoke so his voice was a bit weird. Isco was really nervous, he grabbed his stress ball in a attempt to calm himself. It worked, after a while he was already more calm, maybe it would be good for him to start to work, that way he would leave "home" for a while and he would be more entertained working than there. To spend time, Isco went outside for a run, he was really needing that. When he stopped running he walked to the little park where he first met Jesé, he went there to strech a bit. As soon as he sat sat on a bench he realized where he was, he didn't held to cry, too many emotions passed his mind. Isco went to his apartment right away, he couldn't spend one more second there. When he arrived he just went to the living room and started watching tv, none of his favourite shows were on, so he decided to watch The Simpsons, he knew that that way he would be able to laugh a bit. He spent the rest of the day there, he didn't even eat at all until dinner, where he had a terrible meal because he was too lazy to cook. Before going to the bed, Isco decided his outfit for the next day, it was going to be a big day for him and he knew that he had to have some sleep if he wanted to work properly in the next day. Unfortunately, he barely slept again, his head was full of dark thoughts, what a horrible night, again. It was three in the morning when Isco managed to fall asleep.

 

~~~

 

Isco forgot to activate the alarm, though, he woke up at half past six, he still had time to prepare himself for work. Isco did his morning routine as quickly as he could and letf his apartment right away. When he was in his car he noticed that he had the biggest dark circles he ever saw, he looked like shit, though, Isco couldn't care less, he just wanted to do his work quickly and then return to his apartment so he could cry and feel miserable again, until then, Isco knew that he had to be nice and to smile a lot. He arrived at the eighth floor exactly at half past eight, there, it was already someone wating for him. It was a short guy with dark hair, big brown eyes and a naturally blushed face, he was wearing the club official uniform, a with t-shirt with the club emblem on his and white shorts.

"Hello, good morning, you must me Francisco Alarcón, the new employee. I'm James Rodríguez, but everyone calls me James or Jami, I'm really glad to meet you Francisco." he said loudly and they shook hands. James was smiling so widely that it seemed like he was going to explode. Isco found him annoying right away, though, he decided to be nice.

"Hey James, you can call me Francisco. I'm also glad to meet you and I'm really excited to start working I..." Isco started but James interrupted him.

"You are going to love working here! Everyone is very nice and the conditions are excelent, our boss is also very nice!" he said and his eyes were shining like two little stars, he was kinda adorable Isco thought then, but annoying, very annoying...

"Okay... will you be the one who'll show me the installations?" Isco said and hoped that he would say no.

"Yes!! I volunteered myself to do it! I love to show this to the new ones, it reminds me of my first day here!" he was almost screaming which obligated Isco to use all of his self control, otherwise, he would slap him until he would shut up, he was unbearable.

"Okay, enough talking then, let's go." Isco said hoping that now James would shut up for a while. Unfortunately, he couldn't be more wrong. James kept talking, more loud and faster, telling everything about his personal life, which Isco thought it was a bit unprofessional, and made him a lot of awkward question that Isco avoid answering smoothly. Isco was inpressed with the installations, it was even better and bigger than he thought, in fact, it was better and bigger of what he could possibly dream of, he was also impressed with James' talking, he didn't shut the fuck up for a second, he even spoke when Isco was answering to his questions.

Time flew and when he realized it was already ten to ten, they head to their work posts. Before he started to work, he got introduced to the rest of his team, a blond short guy called Toni Kroos, a little brunette guy that introduced himself as Chicharito and a guy with braces wich name is Nacho. When they started to work a man appeared in the division, he went straight to Isco.

"Good morning you must be Francisco, my name is Xabi Alonso. Welcome to Real Madrid and I hope that James didn't bored you to death with his talking, he can be a pain in the ass." he said and smiled shortly. Isco smiled him back a little bit embarrassed.

"Thank you... hum...  James was actually very nice..I'm very happy to be here. Thank you for the opportunity." Isco said shyly and James who was hearing their conversation blushed until turning into a tomato.

"Well, if you need anything I'll be in my office, third door on the left. If James annoys you tell him to shut up, he's used to it, don't mind it." he said and left, not giving Isco a chance to reply.

The morning killed him, he had a lot of work, though, Isco couldn't be more happy, this is his dream job and by working he managed to keep his mind occupied. Isco couldn't count the times that people told James to shut up, poor James ,Isco coudln't help to think. He didn't tell him to shut up, he found him kinda cute and sometimes funny, unfortunately he was really annoying. When lunch time arrived Isco went with James to the caffeteria, though, James told him that he would have lunch with his girlfriend which name Isco couldn't remember at all. Isco sat alone and started to have hil meal relaxed, not thinking much, he was really tired. He stayed that wait until he felt an hand on his shoulder, he jumped a bit but smiled when he saw who it was.

"Hey Álvaro, he scared the shit out of me!" Isco said.

"Sorry, everything allright? How is your first day going?" he said and sat on front of him, he was suited and tied, wich made Isco smile, he wasn't used to see his friend like that, he looked good though.

"It's okay... I'm loving it!! Everyone is very nice here and I'm having fun, I even get to know Sergio Rodríguez, Real Madrid's basketball player who injured his ankle. I'm really happy to work here an I kinda owe you that..."

"That's so cool! Hey! You got a job here because you are really good at what you do, I saw your curriculum so don't be stupid!" he said and messed Isco's hair. Isco complayned at that but he laugh, they kept chatting about Isco's day and Real Madrid and some other random stuff. While they talked Isco hoped that Álvaro wouldn't mention Jesé, he still didn't know anything and Isco didn't want to explain right now. Unfortunately, Álvaro ended up making the question that Isco didn't want him to do.

"So... how's Jesé?" he said as he had a bite of meat. Isco just lowered his gaze to his plate and kept eating pretending that he didn't listen what Álvaro was saying. Of course he noticed it...

"Isco... is everything okay?" he asked now worried.

"Yes... I left Jesé's apartment and went to my place, he didn't need me anymore and I was homesick... so... I returned to my apartment." he said as he kept his gaze on his plate.

"Why do you look like you hadn't sleep for a week then? Are you going to tell me the truth or not? If not, I'll leave right away."

"Sorry Álvaro, don't go... I just didn't want to bother you with my dumb childich problems again."

"Hey! What are friends for? You can always count on me, you know that I love to help you in your dumb childish problems" he said and smiled sweetly to Isco who blushed from embarrassement.

"Well, basically I left Jesé's apartment because he loves me and I don't love him back, that's why he got completly drunk. I did it so he doesn't have to look me in the eyes everyday and remember that I dont't love him back, I thought that that way he would eventually forget about me. But now I feel like I made the dumbest decision ever! I don't have news from him from him since I left his apartment, I don't even know if he is alive Álvaro!" he said and tears appeared right away. Álvaro stood up and sat beside him, then, he hugged him tightly.

"Hey, don't worry about him, worry about you. Yesterday I went to his apartment and he was fine! Please Isco, take care of yourself, you obviously need to rest. Go home" he lied about going to Jesé's but he needed to make sure that Isco would be fine.

"Did you? Did he talk about me?" he asked somehow excited now.

"Yes and no. Please Isco, go home now and have some sleep, you clearly need it!"

"I don't wanna go home! I don't know why but I don't feel at home there now and at least here I'm distracted and having fun!"

"Okay... but when you arrive home later make sure you sleep properly."

"I'll try but I don't feel home there and I don't know why."

"I think I have the answer to that.."

"What is it then?"

"Home is where your heart is, and right now, your heart is somewhere else and I think you know where..." he said, Isco was amazed with how wise Álvaro was, he had no clue he was that wise.

"You are absolutly right! Thank you Álvaro! I gotta go now but I already know what to do! Thank you very much, bye!" Isco said and left rightaway.

"Bye..." Álvaro said and saw Isco leaving from his seat, he was happy to be able to help his friend once again.

The rest of the day spent very fastly to Isco, when he noticed, the day was over and he could leave. He finished treating his pacient who had a broken arm, when he finished the treatment of the day he gave him the instrution of some exercises he should do at home. Then Isco marked with his client his next appointment to the next week. He was the last one leaving the eighth floor, everyone left had already left.

Twenty three minutes later he was at Jesé's door, he sighed and then he put the key on the locker. He entered in the apartment and he didn't find signs of Jesé there anywhere. He got worried right away, where was him? He soon calmed down because he found Jesé lying on the floor, he stink of alcohol and his clothes were disgusting. Isco didn't wake him up, he just sat on the couch and waited for Jesé's awakening. After two hours, that finally happened, Jesé woke up slowly and openned his eyes slowly, though, as soon as he recognized Isco he stood up and hugged him. He tried to talk but Isco couldn't understand a word of what he was saying because his face was pressed in Isco's chest and his (their) crying wasn't helping, he only understood the words Isco, sorry, don't, leave, need and please. Isco wiped his tears and pulled Jesé closer.

"I'm not leaving again. Sorry I cause you pain. I love you Jesé, sorry I didn't realize it sooner..." he said and Jesé looked at him like he wasn't believing in his ears. Was it a dream? Was he joking around? Well, all his doubts disappeared when isco kissed his lips, or at least he stopped thinking in his doubts because he wanted to enjoy that moment, he didn't mind if that was only a dream.

"Is this a dream?" Jesé said seriously.

"No dummy, this is real" he said and resumed kissing. Theu stayed that way until Jesé pushed Isco lightly, he wanted to have words.

"What does this mean?" he asked.

"It means that I want to give us a chance. I'm not sure about my feelings but I'm much better now than I was at my apartment. My home now is here, because home is where your heart is, and right now, mine is here." he said and grabbed his hands. "I just want you to promise me one thing."

"Anything you want!" he replyed right away.

"I want you to stop drinking, at least how you were, I don't want anything bad to happen to you Jesé, I need you here, not in some hospital dying or whatever."

"Woooow so dramatic!! But sure, I'll stop drinking, I don't need to anyway. Now that I have you I don't want to forget about reality for a second." he said and kissed him shortly.

"You sweet asshole..." Isco started but Jesé kissed him so he would shut up, it worked, they were now making out in the couch, they were now both happy, none of them felt empty finally.

 

~~~

 

 Meanwhile, in Álvaro's home, he and Maria were having a nice dinner when suddently Álvaro got a text from Isco.

" _Everything is fine now between me and Jesé, in fact, better than never. Thank you mate, you're the best!! XD"_

Ávaro coudn't help to smile at that, which made Maria frowned at that.

"Álvaro you look like a shoolgirl who got a text from he crush.." she said with contempt, not hidding how jealous she was.

"Jealous?" Álvaro teased.

"Well, I bet you don't react that way to my texts..." she said bored.

"*Álvaro, go buy some milk, we don't have any.* How do you want me to react at that?" he said and he laughed, he loved to see Maria jealous because usually it was the opposite.

"Can I know who texted you?" she asked, now hidding how pissed she was.

"Isco, you know him, the guy we met two weeks ago" he said now sweetly.

"Oh Isco! What about him?" she faked to be excited.

"Oh... not a big deal, he was kindaa sad today but I managed to shear him up and give him good advice, it clearly worked."

"Good... Since when you know how to give advise?" she teased, she was a lot more relieved now.

"Well, in case you didn't know... behind this beautiful face there is a really wise guy over here" he said and laughed triumphantly. She laughed at that, she loved Álvaro's sence of humour, in fact, she loved everything about him.

"I don't know if I should cry or if I should laugh. You're none of that, you are a lucky bastard with the biggest catch of the town." he laughed but deep down he agreed, Maria was a catch and she was the luckiest guy I knew.

"Oh and the most humble you forgot to point that out!" he said and kissed her so she wouldn't reply, she didn't, she just kissed him back and they stay like that.

"Come on, I'll show you why I'm the biggest catch of the town" she said as she rose and took him to their room.

"Oh honey, you show me that every second I spend with you..." he said and kissed her neck.

"You fucking boot licker..." she said but smiled widely, she loved how Álvaro could be the biggest asshole she knew and in the second later the sweetest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a mess, I'm probably editing this later but I wanted to update as fast as possible.  
> Comments would be great!! XDD  
> Okay I read this again and there will be edition for sure, especially on Isco/Jesé part, it's awfull and hushed, don't like it AT ALL!!!


	12. Love, truth and friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is in the air but perfection doesn't exist so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updates three days in a row, I think I deserve a cookie :''''))

 

**Chapter Twelve**

 

**Jesé's POV**

 

There was only a word that could describe these last weeks, perfect. I waited for this since the day I met him, but I have to be honest, this is way better than what I could ever dream of, in fact, everything still seemed like a dream, like it wasn't real. Well, if it was, I surely didn't want to wake up, if it was all a dream, I would prefer to stay dreaming forever. Isco as a boyfriend is completly different from the one he knew as his friend, though, I like and I dare to say that I prefer this new side of him. Less serious and tensed, more relaxed and loose, also a lot more affectionate, though, not too much, he had the perfect balance, he was perfect. Since we started dating it seems like the time flew, everyday is a good day, I felt better day after day, happier, more confident and most importantly, more emotionally balanced, Isco provided me all of it, could I ask more? If I could, I wouldn't dare. One of the best things about our relationship is that we are always going to different places, well, Isco had a lot of work in Real Madrid but he always manages to have time and energy to do that for me, he is just the cuttest. The worst part of our relationship is that Isco decided he wanted to kept it in secret, I didn't like it, I wanted to tell to the whole world that Isco was mine and I was his, that we were in love and that we didn't care about the others opinion, but I respected his will. Isco told me that I wasn't still out of the closet and that he wasn't ready to admit he was also into guys, yes, also, because he is also into girls, the biggest prove was his son. He wasn't born yet but Isco was already freaking out with parentood, and as much as I told him that he was going to be the best father in the world and that I would do everything I could to help he remained stressed about it. I respected that he wasn't ready to get out of the closet, but I found odd that he only ones who he told about our relationship were is parents, I get that his relationship his parents is very healthy, I kinda envied that, but they were supposed to be the hardest people to confess about it, and Isco did it very naturally, oddly naturally to be honest. But what most confused me was that he didn't tell Álvaro, who is bestfriend beyond me, about us, why didn't him? Was he afraid of his reaction? I always ended up ignoring this thoughts, it didn't make any sence to ruin our relationship because of some childish thoughts, I would give Isco the time he needs to do whatever he wants do to. Beyond that little issue, everything was perfect, I had the best boyfriend by my side and I couldn't desire anything else, I never thought I would feel this happy.

It was twenty to the morning, we were both lying in our bed (yes we now sleep together) cuddling, my head was resting on his chest. None of us spoke, we didn't feel the need to do it, one of the good things of being with Isco was that we were able to have this moments of silence and they weren't awkward at all, they were very comfortating. We kept that way for hours, Isco didn't had to work so we could stay like that as much as we wanted to. It seemed to me that the time stopped when we were like that, in fact, it always feels like that when I'm with Isco, it seemed like we were in our own Universe where time didn't exist. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted it to last forever, it didn't, Isco got up from bed, leaving me alone on our bed and went to the toilet. It's ridiculous but the time that he spent in the toiled passed so slowly that it almost felt like our, the only reasonable justification that I could find was that when I wasn't with Isco I regained the sence of time going by. He came back to the room with a weird expression on his face, like he was thinking about something that was confunding his mind. At first I ignored but after fifteen minutes he still had that weird expression on his face, I couldn't remain silent anymore.

"What's wrong Isco? Are you allright?" I asked in the most casual tone I could, I didn't want to show him that I was worried about him, that would only stress him.

"I'm okay, don't worry, just thinking.." he said lazily, like he didn't want me to inturrept his thoughts. I got the message and I remained silent again for more fifteen minutes, when I looked at him again Isco's eyes were closed, his whole facial expression changed dramatically, it looked like he was meditating, maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. I realized then that that wasn't my business, if it was something important Isco would tell him, nevertheless, I couldn't forget the image of Isco's suffering face. In the end, I realized that maybe he was just needing some affection, so I aproached him and I started to kiss his neck softly, I knew that Isco loved it. Isco's only reaction was a shy smile, though, I didn't give up, I started to kiss all the corners of his body and meanwhile his smile grew more and more. I looked at him once more, he looked so relaxed and calm now that I thought that he was sleeping, though, when I felt my scent he smiled again, that smile somehow managed to calm me down, he was okay now. I aproached him a bit more and I started cuddling him, he loved to be cuddled but usually, I'm the one who is cudlled because Isco knows how much I love to be cuddled. I look at his face once more before falling asleep, he was indeed sleeping now, he looked like an angel while sleeping, even more than usual. We were so cute that I decided to take a snap of both of us and I would send it only for Isco. There was only a problem, our phones were really similar and it was really dark in the room, so instead of sending from my phone, I did it through his phone. It gets worse, since I thought it was my phone, I sent it right away to the bestfriend of snapchat, because he's my bestfriend there. What happened actually, I sent that snap from Isco's phone to Álvaro, who was his best friend on snapchat, instead of sending to him. It gets even worse, the picture said " _We are so cute my love, love you <3"_. Fuck. At least Álvaro answered right away with a snap of him pooping saying: " _Nice bro, but I think you send it to the right guy. Love you too XD"_ As soon as I saw that snap I freaked out, I called him right away.

"Hey Isco" he said casually.

"Hey, it's me, Jesé! Can you please pretend you haven't seen that snap? It was supposed to be for Isco so... sorry but he wanted to keep us as a secret so I thought if you didn't mind..."

"Say no more! Got it bro. Be more careful next time."

"I will, sorry... bye Álvaro, thank you a lot."

"Hey it's okay... also... you better treat him right, otherwise I'll kick your ass, Isco is a really nice guy, treat him as he deserves. Bye, best of lucks."

"Oh.. hum... thank you, I will don't worry. Bye." I said and I hung up, I knew that he was telling the true, if I'll ever treat Isco badly (which is not gonna happen), Álvaro would kill him. Sometimes in the past I envied his relationship with Isco, but now that I was with him, I was free from such childish worries. Isco was mine and I was his.

 

~~~

 

 A few hours later Isco woke up. He understood right away that he was in Jesé's arms, he felt so well that way, there is no better way to wake up than in the arms of the one you love. He was still not used to that, to be in someone's arms, to feel someone's affection towards him, especially from Jesé, who knew exactly how to give me love, in fact, he still wasn't used to none of that, though, he couldn't like it more, Isco even feared that he liked it too much, he was scared of getting dependent to that, to feel the necessity of feeling loved. Those dumb thoughts dissipated from his mind as soon as Jesé woke up and started to kiss Isco' back, when he realized what was happening, Isco turned to Jesé and started to kiss his mouth, it still felt like the first time.

"Someone woke up in a good mood" Isco said and Jesé grinned.

"Like it was possible to wake up in a bad mood when I wake with you by my side" he answered and resumed kissing him.

"Come on, it's late and we didn't leave bed today, let's go outside, I want to run, have a shower and then having dinner in a nice restaurant." Isco said and got up.

"I just wanna stay here forever, with you by my side." Jesé said and pushed him to his embrace. Isco laughed loudly and didn't resist for a while, then, he got up again.

"I don't wanna go to a restaurant... why can't we just stay here?" he asked begging with his eyes.

"Because I'm not in the mood for cooking today!" Isco replyed, he trully wasn't.

"What are you in the mood to do then?" he asked with dare in his eyes.

"To kiss you" Isco said and resumed kissing him. "Now let's go! If you get up now we'll take a shower together, otherwise...." Isco said and Jesé's mouth was fully opened now.

"You're only blackmailing me you little shit, you wouldn't dare..." Jesé said still shocked.

"If I were you, I wouldn't challenge me, mate. You have no idea of what I'm capable of..." Isco said and managed to stay serious.

"My boyfriend is a serial killer, help!!" Jesé said dramatically but didn't manage to hold a smile, he got up and kissed Isco shortly.

"Let's go runnning then, I'll kick your ass" Jesé said and slapped Isco's ass.

"I'm so going to kick your ass now..." Isco said and smiled widely, he was so happy.

 

 Two hours and a half later they were heading to a restaurant that oddly Isco recomended, Jesé didn't knew that he wasn't actually clueles about Madrid after all.

"Are you sure that that restaurant is even real? Didn't you dreamed of it?" Jesé half joking half worried that his boyfriend gone mad.

"Of course it's real, unlike you, I'm not a lunatic. We are almost there, calm down please." Isco said and sighed, sometimes, it looked like Jesé thought that he was clueless  about everything, he wasn't...

Like Isco said, that restaurant existed indeed. I was a small place, very cozy, Jesé liked it right away. They were the only customers, which didn't surprise none of them, they barely found this and they (Isco) knew the existence of that restaurant and he had an idea of where it was, otherwise, they would never find it.

"How did you know about this place dude? This is in the middle of nowhere!" he said, he was kinda surprised with his boyfriend.

"I don't remember how... but I kinda had a clue about this place, though, I never went here either." he said, he now realize of how weird it was.

"That's messed up Isco! Are you sure you've never been here nor anyone told you about this place? If not, how did you know about it? You are completly mad, I'm breaking up with you" Jesé said dramatically, Isco laughed at Jesé's failed attempt to be serious.

"I dare you to try to break up with me you asshole" Isco said and poked Jesé's stomach. Jesé coughed, he seeing that one coming.

"You know I wouldn't" Jesé said made the most innocent face he could.

"You are so cheezy... I hate you!" Isco whispered at his ear and then seat on his chair. After that, they made their best to behave a little, after all, they weren't at home. The biggest advantage of the fact that the restaurant had no more customers except them was that they felt really comfortable there, they even dared to kiss sometimes, it was like they were at home.

"Doesn't this feel like home to you?" Jesé asked in the middle of nowhere.

"To be honest Jesé, since I'm with you, everywhere seems home to me." Isco really meant it and Jesé knew it, they both blushed and stayed quiet for a while. Isco wasn't cute very often, but when he was, it compensated all the times he wasn't, his clumsy way of talking when he said those things onlyy made him more adorable, it was almost looked that he was embarrassed about what he was saying, he wasn't used to it.

"And I'm the cheezy one...." Jesé said and sighed deeply, though, he didn't manage to remain serious when he saw Isco, who was red as a tomato, he looked so adorable when he was embarrassed.

After that, they resumed talking and teasing each other, the meal was great, the enviroment was great and the company was great, everything was great that night, or at least, it was... Right in the moment when Isco and Jesé were kissing passionately two people entered in the tinny restaurant. Isco's jaw fell to the ground when he realized who it was.

"He-ey..." Isco mumbled, his face was red like a tomato again.

"Hey Isco what's up?" asked a man with a rough yet sweet voice.

"Everything's fine thank you what about you?" Isco said and the other guy started to reply, though, a female voice cut him.

"Come on Álvaro, I'm starving!! You'll talk later. Hey Isco!" Maria said and greeted him hastily with false enthusiasm.

"Hey Maria... we'll talk later Álvaro, see you two later." Isco said and turned to Jesé "Let's go Jesé, go pay the bill and I'll wait for you in the car". Isco was really embarrassed now, he knew that he was acting like a fool. Jesé said what Isco asked him to do, no because he wanted, no because he thought it was the right thing to do, no, he made it because he loved Isco more than anything else and he saw how uncomfortable he was since Álvaro's arrival.

Five minutes later, Jesé reached the car and as he entered in the car and saw Isco's face, he realized that there was something wrong, though, he knew that if Isco would want to tell him what was bothering he would, so, he only entered in the car and drove, always silent. When they arrived home and got off of the car, Jesé talked, he couldn't remain silent anymore, he was feeling guilty and devastaded to see his boyfriend that way.

"Isco... there's something you should know..." Jesé said, voice shaking.

"What's wrong?" Isco asked a bit worried now.

"Álvaro already knew about us" he finally confessed.

"What? That's impossible! How?" Isco shouted at Jesé, who kept talking calmly.

"Well, this afternoon when we were lying on our bed, I grabbed your phone, thinking it was mine, and took a snap of us. Well... I thought that it was my phone and my snapchat account, so I sent the snap to your best friend... and I think you know the rest of the story... sorry Isco, I knew that you didn't want him to know so I begged him to pretend he didn't know until you would tell him and he agreed to do that..." Jesé said and aproached Isco, who accept his hug, deep inside he didn't mind it, at least, he hadn't had to pretend anymore from now on.

"And..." Jesé continued "I think that you should have a talk with him, it seemed to me he was sad that you didn't trust him enough to tell him about us.."

"Okay, thank you Jesé, I'll talk with Álvaro later, first think to do tomorrow." he said and smiled to Jesé.

"Aren't you mad at me?" Jesé asked surprised. "I know I messed up so you can be mad at me if you want to."

"Oh but I don't! I just want you by my side now. I'm afraid I lost my bestfriend so I can't lose my boyfriend now." he said and wiped some tears that started running through his face.

"You'll never lose me Isco. You'll only get rid of me if you want me to leave, otherwise, I'm afraid that's not gonna happen." he said and managed to make Isco smile again.

"And you won't lose Álvaro either, he loves you so much! You are very dear to him. To be honest, I kinda envy your relationship, but then I realize that I'm the one who has you, so..." he didn't manage to finish his sentence because Isco shut him up with a surprise kiss, at first, Jesé complayned but he soon gave up and kissed his boyfriend back.

"Shut up" Isco said and kissed him again.

"Make me" he replied and kissed him back.

"What do you think I'm doing you dumbass?" he sai and resumed kissing him for good, he didn't want more interruptions now, he just wanted Jesé for his own. They went to bed a little bit later and they both slept right away, Jesé cuddling Isco again, he knew that he needed it more than him right now. Isco last thought of the night was about Álvaro, he was way calmer now but he was still afraid of loosing his bestfriend.

 

~~~

 

**Isco's POV**

 

I woke up bery soon in the next morning. I had to speak with Álvaro, or at least I had to try. I got off from Jesé's embrace slowly and smoothly, I didn't want to wake him up for sure. I made my mourning hastily and I let breakfast ready for Jesé, that way he wouldn't be mad at me for sure. Before leaving Jesé's (ours) apartment I peered our room to watch Jesé sleeping for a while, I always liked to see him sleeping, he always seemed in peace when he was. He mumbled my name twice, I blushed and aproached him and kissed him in the forehead, it was time to leave.

I drove to Álvaro's slowly, not only because I didn't know exactly how to drive there, but mostly because I was still thinking in what should I say to him, I soon gave up on that, it felt like torture, if I told Álvaro what was in my heart, everything would be okay. I arrived his apartment, I was nervous, very nervous, it was now or never. I knocked at the door softly, I wasn't even sure if he was awake, I didn't even warned him about my "visit". Thirteen seconds that I made sure to count later Álvaro opened, he looked kinda annoyed about being bothered at seven o' clock in the morning, but right now, I only wanted to clear the mess I made by myself.

"What do you want Isco?" Álvaro said obviously annoyed, Isco could see how annoyed he was just by the look on his face.

"I wanted to have words with you, after that I'll leave, maybe for good if it's that what you want."

"Okay Isco... whatever, I'm sick of your lies. How do you considere me your bestfriend if you don't trust me at all?" Álvaro was obviously pissed out, I really screwed up.

"It's not that Álvaro, you're missing the point... The truth is that I wasn't ready to get out o the closet, it's not easy, okay?" I said but iit sounded way better in my mouth than when I said it out loud.

"Is that what you wanted to tell me? Great, now get off of my sight, I don't wanna see you right now" he said strongly but I stayed exactly where I was.

"Álvaro, you are my dearest bestfriend, I trust you my life. I'm really happy with Jesé now and I want you to be happy with that, I need you to aprove this, I need you to support me now more than ever. Sorry, sorry a thousand times, I need you Álvaro, I won't endure your absence." I was almost begging, I was completly desesperated. I didn't know what to expect, though, I didn't expect this one. Álvaro was hugging me tightly now, I almost suffocated, but I didn't complayned for a second.

"You'll never lose me Isco, but now, I think I need some space, sorry I can't help you now but I want you to know that you'll ever have my suport, you are my dearest bestfriend too, I can't lose you either, but please, now, right now, I need some time to think, okay?" he said and managed to keep his face flawless, though, I knew how was emotional he was in that moment.

"I'll give you everything you want and need, don't worry about that, adore you Álvi, feel free to contact me whenever you don't need stay away from me, take your time. I just want you to promise one thing.." I said sadly.

"Whatever you want Isco" he sighed

"I need you to promise me that things between us won't change, if you can't promise me that then I'm not leaving until we are fine again, sounds good?" I said strongly, without blinking.

"Sounds lovely" he agreed right away.

"Okay, now I'll go, I'll miss you Álvi. Think about what you need to think well because next time I'm seing you I want you to be okay, okay?" I said and I went to the front door on my own without looking back.

"Okay" he said and I left his apartment. Somehow now I was feeling a lot better now, though, I would only feel complete again when I had Álvaro Morata by my side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barely awake, don't judge my dumb mistakes. I'll correct them all tomorrow (not :ppp)  
> I only made this this hushed because I wanted to update as fast as possible since I'm leaving in August and from that day until the end of August it will be very hard for me to update, untill then, you can count with updates after updates :))))  
> Feel free to comment, I really appreciate all your comments a lot!!!!


	13. Baby and loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOUR DAYS IN A ROW!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!  
> I'll try to update as much as I can while I'm able to do it, I can only promise you that, I can't promise you daily updates but I'll try my best to do that :)))

 

**Chapter Thirteen**

 

**Isco's POV**

 

Last six months hadn't been easy at all. Vitória was all over me almost everyday because of our son who hadn't still borned, if she was allready bothering me that way before his birth, wich was very close, I didn't want to imagine how it would be after it. Her failed attempts of seducing me were what annoyed me the most, she always talked with me with the sweetest voice and she always wore provucative outfits. I made it very clear to her that she had no chance at all, that we were over and there was nothing she could do that would made me change my mind, I couldn't trust her anymore. Though, she kept trying and trying to seduce me, and there was nothing I could do but ignoring her, and so I did it, day after day, but she kept insisting, she's fucking stubborn, she was always that way since I knew her, she only stops trying when she gets what she wants, though, this time, there was no way she was getting what she wanted, it's impossible, there's no way she's gonna seduce me again, because now I know her, I know that she is a digusting human being that didn't look at means to achieve her goals. But honestly, Vitória was mostlly out of my thoughts, she had no meaning for me anymore. What really bothered me in this last six months was Álvaro's absence in my life, we hadn't talk since I last went to his apartment. I could see him daily, after all, we worked in the same business and our schedules were basically identic. I could see the way that his eyes avoid mine everytime we were in the canteen, I noticed that he looked at me, but he refused to make eye contact. The way he looked at me... he looked so disapointed, so damaged, so broken... I made that, it was all my fault, I should have trusted him, if I had told him about me and Jesé everything would be fine right now, instead, we don't talk, we  pretended to ignore each other existence, we denied it. What mostly hurt me was that I had to see him everyday, I had to see his face over and over again, which only reminded me my huge stupidity and dumbness, it reminded me everyday that I was the one who caused Álvaro pain, it reminded me that I failed again, like I always do, I always hurt the ones I love the most. I felt so miserable, I didn't deserve Álvaro's friendship after all, not after making him suffer. All I can do now was to regret what I've done and wait, wait that someday Álvaro would somehow forgive me and that he wanted to talk to me again. Other thing that bothered me was that Álvaro seemed clearly fine with all this, like my absence wasn't bothering him at all, he kept updating his Instagram very often (yes I'm a stalker and I'm always seeing his Instagram account) and he was always posting photos with Maria and his friends in many different places and he looked very happier in them, it seemed that he was way better without me. However, that silence, that emotional distance was driving me mad, I felt like that silence was suffocating me, I wouldn't hold on much longer without talking to him, I needed my bestfriend. In fact, I wouldn't hold on all that without Jesé, he had been my support through all this time, he was the only one who managed to make me smile, to actually feel good, complete... I can't say how grateful I was to have him by my side, I don't know what I would do without him. I can't describe exactly how I felt around him, it was still weird for me to be with somebody again, I never thought that I could trust anyone after what happened with Victória, I never thought I would love somebody that way again. Jesé made everything he could to make me feel happier, he knew that I wasn't okay because of the latest events, he didn't ask nothing to me about none of that, he really respect my silence, he always waited that I talked to him, he knew that I would eventually would do it. It was one of Jesé's virtues, he knew to wait better than anyone else. The only times I really felt happy in the last six months were the times I spent with him, everything was allright when we were together, all the troubles seemed to disappear. Things were so good between us, and one of the best things about our relation is that we are completly used to live with each other. We were already used to that before dating because we already lived here at Jesé's apartment as friends, we knew what each other didn't like to do at home. I cooked, Jesé cleaned the dishes (well sometimes I help him because it's fun to wash dishes with that dummy); I went to the groceriess and Jesé aspires; I ironed and did the laundry and Jesé fixed everything around the house, sometimes it seemed like he was a electrician. But most iportantly, we know each other characters, all each other manias and we respected them and knew how to deal with them like nobody else knew. Of course we had some fights but in the end one of us always laughs at the other's mad face and we ended up making out and insulting each other withouut meaning it, just joking or teasing. Things between us were so perfect that I decided to rent my apartment, after all, I was not using it and that way I could make some profit from it, Jesé really liked the idea and supported me selling the house, he even found an interested buyer, who was a frind of him. It was a huge step on our relationship now because from that moment on I lived in his house 24/7.

I was peacefully making lunch for me and Jesé when I I felt my phone vibrating in my jeans, it was Victória. "What would she want now?" I thought annoyed. After thinking if I should answer or not, I decided to do it because it wasn't a good idea to stress Victória now, I didn't want that anything wrong to happen to my not born son.

"HER WATER BROKE ISCO!!!" Victória's friend, Marta, shouted from excitment, I didn't like that she called me Isco, but I let that one pass, my son was going to born today!!!

"Okay Marta calm down.." I tried to remain calm, however, I couldn't be more excited. "Is she already in an ambulance? If yes, which hospital did she went to?"

"Yes yes she entered in an ambulance five minutes ago!! She is going to Hospital General Universitario Gregorio Marañón!!" she kept shouting excited.

"Okay Marta, I'll be there as soon as possible bye!" I said and I hung up.

"JESÉ MY SON IS GOING TO BORN NOW, WE HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL GENERAL UNIVERSITARIO GREGORIO MARAÑÓN NOW!! HURRY!!" I screamed from the kitchen, Jesé answered with histecical screams and I heard him running to the door right away, he grabbed our jackets and we both left the apartment.

"YOU ARE GOING TO BE A DADDY!!!" Jesé yelled, he was as excited as I was, it kinda looked that he was going to be a father now, and well, he would help me taking care of my son, so he kinda was... We entered in the car and Jesé decided it would a better idea if he drove, that way he would leave me in the entrance of the hospital and I wouldn't lose a thing. He drove very fastly, though, safely to the hospital, while that, I wrote a message to Álvaro, I knew that I was breaking the promise I made but I wanted him to be present.

" _Álvaro, sorry I'm breaking the promise of keeping myself away from you but I wanted you to know that my son is going to born today and I want you to be present in this important day of my life. Me and Jesé are going to the Hospital General Universitario Gregorio Marañón now, I would really like to see you there. In case you deleted my phone number, which you probably did, it's Isco. I need my bestfriend here today, you know how important it would be for me."_ I kinda regreted sending that, because as I expected, he didn't text me back.

When Jesé stopped in front of the hospital's main entrance, I kissed him and jumped off of the car and runned inside the building, it was huge. I runned to the reception and a really nice receptionist told me where Victória, who registed herself as Victória Alarcón, which kinda bothered me because we weren't married, though, that way my son would have my surname, was. I runned as much as my legs let met until where Vitória was, she was lying in a hospital bed surrounded by doctors, she was screaming a lot. I aproached her and she pressed my hand tightly, so tightly I could feel my blood circulating there.

"Breath Victória, breath.." I said calmly in an attempt to calm her down, of course she didn't and I couldn't blame her for that. She kept on screaming as she pushed our son out of her body, I kept holding her hand until I got a text, I hoped it was from Álvaro so I couldn't help to be disappointed when I saw Jesé on the phone screen.

" _They didn't let me enter, even when I told I was your boyfriend, so... I'll only enter when the baby is born, Good luck Isco, see you soon *lot's of emojis Isco couldn't see because he didn't had  an iPhone* "_

After that all my atention was back on Vitória. I stayed there for the whole time, it took several hours, but I swear to God that it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Gongratulations, it's a heathy little boy" the doctor said and gave the little baby to Victória, who held him in her eyes. He was so beautiful, so small, so fragile... he was a treasure, and like it or not, it was our treasure, our little and precious treasure.

The room was finally was finally empty, the only sound was the baby's crying, I hugged Victória tightly, that was the best moment of my life, I would remember it forever. Soon the room wasn't empty again, our parents appeared, Marta appeared, Jesé appeared, even James, who I have no idea of how he knew, appeared, the only person that didn't show up was Álvaro... who was the person I wanted the most to be here to celebrate the moment with me. There was such a happy enviroment in the room, everyone congratulating them, smiling and grabbing the baby.

"How are you going to call this little cute little thing?" Victória's mother asked with the most sweet voice, I loved Victória's parents, they were really kind for me and they even invite me to come over after me and Victória broke up.

"Isco Jr., in honor of the best man I had the chance to met and create this life." Victória said and smiled to me and I smiled to her back.

 As the hours passed everyone left to their own lifer again, always congratulating and wishing us the best of lucks before leaving, when I realized, me and Vitória were the only ones left in the hospital room. I needed to tell her that nothing was going to change between us, I didn't want her to create false expectations but I didn't have the heart to do it right now, she was so happy, genuinely happy, happy like I never saw before.

"Isco, this is the best day of my life!" she said like she still didn't believe that wasn't all just a dream.

"The best day of our lifes, we are going to be awesome parents" and I meant it, I don't think that Victória is a good person, though, I had no doubts she was going to be an awesome mother for our child.

"He is so beautiful Isco, look at him, he is perfect, he looks just like you!" she said and I laughed at that.

"I think it's a bit too soon to know that Victória" I said and the looked a bit disappointed.

"Well, will see that later then."

"Agreed" I said and I kissed Vistória's forehead and then our son's, after that a nurse entered in the room and joined us.

"It's so beautiful to see a young couple in love with their son, my favourite part of my job" she said and smile, then she continued "Unfortunately, I'm afraid that you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see your little baby again because he needs to have some rest" she said and hold Isco Jr. carefully in her arms. Me and Victória said goodbye to our little baby and watched the nurse leaving. I stood there for a while then, I was so tired, I decided that I should go to home and tomorrow I would return early in the morning, now that my son borned I would be dispensed from work for a month I would utilize that time to be with my little treasure as much as I could. When I left I noticed that Victória was already sleeping, I kissed the mother of my child before leaving, the truth is that without her I would never live this. My parents drove Jesé home so he could leave the car for me to return home later. I was in the hospital garage when I had the surprise of my life, Álvaro was right beside my car, wating for me. As soon as he saw me he runned for me to hug me, he hugged me so tightly I could barely breath.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. I was speechless, I didn't knew what to say or what to do. I wanted to punch him but I also wanted to hug him back, I opt to do the second option.

"I'm sorry Isco" he repeated.

"Don't be because you don't need to be, I was the one who did shit in the first place." I answered, I didn't want Álvaro to feel bad, I adore him. He let me go and we looked each other in the eyes, it had been a while since we last did it, his eyes were a bit red and wet, he had cried for sure but in that moment he had a smile on his a face, a genuine one, I got lost looking at his eyes, I kinda lost my sences doing it, I was in another world. When I came back to my sences I was on top of the car hood with Álvaro on top of me, his lips pressed on mine, they tasted so well.. I tried to push him but he was way stronger than me, he kept kissing me and I don't know why I kissed him back, it seemed like my lips were alive and they wanted to kiss Álvaro's. With all my strenghts, I managed to get Álvaro away from me.

"What the are you doing?!" I shouted.

"Something I should a long time ago" he almost whispered and tried to kiss me again, I didn't let him, I was wide awake now, I could see the way Álvaro looked at me with desire, what was going on with him?

"Stop it, we are both committed!" I said as I got up, we were now only a few milimetres from each other.

"If not, would it be okay then?" he asked confused.

"You are not getting it! Álvaro, I love Jesé! Very much, he had been everything to me.

"Oh but I know that you love me more, I see the way you look at me with desire since we first met in that mexican restaurant with Jesé" he said and kissed me again, and once again, against my will, my lips kissed his and we stayed that way until Álvaro interrupted the kiss and left me there. I entered in the car and I started to cry, I couldn't believe that I just cheated on Jesé, me, who was more than anyone against cheating, me, who knew how it felt like to be cheated. I cried all the way until Jesé's apartment, I still couldn't believe in what happened, I didn't know what to do.

When I entered in the apartment I went straight to my room where Jesé was sleeping, he looked like a saint like he always did, and I was the devil that cheated on that saint, I didn't deserve him, I never did. The guit was eroding me, I felt so awful about myself, especially because if there was someone in the world that didn't deseve to be cheated was Jesé, he always treated me like a prince, I knew how much he loved me, I loved him more than everyone else too. But I chetead on him, and worse, I enjoyed that kiss, I loved to kiss Álvaro, no kiss ever felt so as that one, not even the ones I shared with Jesé. I was almost sure of three things right now: I loved Jesé more than everyone else and it didn't matter that that was the best kiss I ever had, there would be no second time; I was going to confess everything, there was no way I would hide it from him, he deserved to know the true, it didn't matter the consequences, I had already made my mind; I was going to have a big conversation with Álvaro, not only to know why he had made it, but to make him know that there would be no second time, there was no way that it would ever happen again, I couldn't, I could barely look at myself in a mirror with one time, how would I do that if that repeated? NO NO NO NO, there wouldn't exist a second time, that was out of question. I tried to sleep, I really did, but regret and guit didn't let me, and to be honest, that was the minimum I deserved in that moment, I felt like I was the most hypocrite person in the whole world, I couldn't judge Vitória now for cheating on me, I did the exact same thing, maybe it would be a good idea to have words with her, I would never accept having a life with her, but I would say sorry for everything I said to her. My last thought before falling asleep was Jesé, I knew that I deserved everything that Jesé would do or say, however, I couldn't help to be very afraid of loosing him, I loved him and he was my most important support, I didn't know what to do if I ever lose him, I couldn't even think about it, right now, a life without him was not a life worth of living.

 

**Álvaro's POV**

 

I went to my house right away, I felt so weird, it was the first that anyone rejected me. I somehow felt guilty because I cheated on Maria, there was no way she would find out, she would never forgive me. But to be honest, what made me feel worst was that I could still remember Isco's face, he looked so shocked, and not in a good way, I felt that I lost him for good and it was all my fault, why did I do it? I'm not gay and I' not in love with Isco, it was just a stupidity that shouldn't happen again, though, that was the best kiss I ever had in my life, it had something that no other had, it made me feel like no other did, I felt weird, very weird, a dumb smile came up on my lips when I remembered that kiss, however, that smile disappeared as soon as I rememered Isco's face after it, I really screwed up everything that time, everything was a mess in that moment. Isco hated me, and I deserved that, what I did was completly stupid, I knew how much he likes Jesé and his relationship with him and perhaps I ruined it, I could not even look at Isco's face in that moment, I wasn't ready to see the hate and the contempt coming from his eyes, wasn't ready to hear him saying that I was an awful human being, though, deep down I knew that that was all true and I deserved to hear that. I wanted to somehow punish myself, but I didn't know how to do it, so, instead, I kept myself alone with my thoughts allthrough the night, it was the least I deserved it in that moment. Regret, self hate, guilt and many other similar thoughts overwhelmed me, they were my only company in that night and all I can say is that I deserved every second of suffering I would have, I deserved them and much more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to feel about this chapter, help!! ://////  
> A bit hushed and needs some edition but that's okay, I'm doing them that way in order to update as fast as possible so you can enjoy this story, I'll fix it later, just to make it a bit better. Hope you don't mind it because it is the way it is :///  
> Love you and your comments so feel free to give me your feedback and your recomendations to help getting better and better so I'll be able to make better chapters and to make this story better!!! <333


	14. Awful Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F I V E FUCKING DAYS IN A ROW!!!!!!!  
>  Sorry I haven't posted last night, I literally felt asleep writing :////  
> Jesé scored today !!!! <333333333
> 
> Also... I'm so sorry..... *broken heart*

 

**Chapter Fourteen**

 

**Isco's POV**

 

I woke up very soon in the next morning, around seven o' clock in the morning. As soon as I noticed that Jesé was also awake, around nine o' clock, I tapped his shoulder so he would turn to me. He did it, he had a wide smile on his face, I wanted to remember that smile forever because I wasn't sure if I would see it again. The moment I feared the most, the one I had imagined in the last two hour had finally arrived, there was no way I was going to let that moment pass through my fingers like sand did, no, I woudln't let that awful and disgusting truth for myself, I had no right to do it. Jesé obviously noticed was wrong, one of the things I most hated about me was that I was unable to hide my feelings.

"What's wrong Isco? Don't even try to lie to me, you know how hate that, the only thing I hate more is unloyalty. You have written on your forehead that something is going on so tell me what's going on." he said very serioulsly. I even got a bit more scared in that moment, I had no idea how would Jesé react to what I was about to say, I was prepared for the worst.

"Don't worry Jesé, I'm going to tell you all the truth, however, what I have to say is hard to say and even harder to listen" I started, Jesé was already apprehensive but he didn't interrupt me the whole time, he just kept listening to me, focused in every word that came from my mouth. It was hard but eventually I managed to tell him everything, I didn't let any detail behind, I even told him how I felt about the kiss and everything else, I showed him how regreted I was, how I found myself disgusting, how I didn't want to lose him but I would respect any decision he could possibly have, I told him that I deverved to be hated, that I didn't deserved his love from the moment I kissed Álvaro, that I didn't even deserve his respect from that moment now, that I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore, that I were no longer a person, I was a monster. While I spoke I could see Jesé's heart breaking in milions of pieces, piece by piece, until there weren't any pieces left, I completly destroyed him, it was all my fault. When I finally stopped talking my mouth was dry from talking that much, I felt like I was the worst person in the whole planet, I felt nude, I felt so dumb, those feelings were overwhelming me, silence entered in the room. He kept silent, he was still getting all the information into his brain, I didn't know how he would react, and by the look on his face, it seemed like he didn't know either. That silent was driving me crazy, I couldn't hold on much longer but I also knew that I couldn't break it, that wasn't up to me, fortunately, the silence didn't longed as much as I feared.

"I can't..." he tried to say but as soon as he started speaking he bursted in tears. I didn't dare to aproach him to comfort him as much as I wanted to, I knew that he didn't want me closer than that for sure. I waited until he calmed down a little bit and managed to gather all his strengths to be able to talk again, when he started speaking again I looked at him right in the eyes to knew if he meant all he would say, it was the least I could do. His eyes were so red, so red I couldn't see a bit of white in them; they were so wet, still covered with tears ready to get out; but what bothered me the most was that that sparkle he had since I met him on his eyes was gone, I took it away from him from the moment I opened my mouth.

"I can't believe you were capable to do such a thing, I trusted you, I loved you you hypocrate asshole. You know what? I'm not wasting more words with you, you don't deserve them, you don't deserve to see me suffering over you. Leave  **MY** apartment right now, you are no longer welcome here, you can come by to get your thing, I wont be here in that moment of course, I don't want to have to look at your face ever again!" he said strongly, full of hanger, full of hate, full of contempt... I never thought I would see him like that, and I even expected even less to see him like that because of me, all that hate and contempt was for me, exclusively for me.

"But..." I tried but Jesé started to shout at me right away, I wanted to stay there and fight for him, for us. I decided against it, thirty seconds later I was at Jesé's apartment front door, obviously outside. I could hear him bursting in tears from where I was, fuck, that was all my fault. Resuming, I got kicked out from Jesé's apartment and he hated me, it couldn't had gone worse. I got off of the building and went right away to Álvaro's apartment, we were going to have a big conversation, I didn't care anymore, I had already lost Jesé, nothing mattered anymore, I had lost my mind for good. In my way there I thought in somebody else, Victória, I owe her an apolagize, after all, I'm not better than her, I was probably worse because I knew how it felt to be chetead on and I still couldn't resist Álvaro's charm, after Álvaro, she would be the next one who I would talk to. I arrived at Álvaro's apartment and I knocked at the door, nobody opened the door. I knew I was being ignored, I could hear Álvaro and Maria laughing and making jokes about me from outside, they were joking about my desesperate towards Álvaro, I heard Álvaro telling a totally diferent version of what happened last night. He said that I pushed him to the car's hood and then tried to kiss him, afterwards, he pushed me and I felt in a puddle and left me there alone like I was a little puppy. I tried to tell Maria that that was all a lie, that Álvaro was the one who hitted on me in the first place, tough, the louder I yelled the louder they laughed, why were they laughing like that? That wasn't funny at all. After shouting for five minutes I had ended up giving up, there was no way they were going to listen to me, I knew that they wouldn't. So there I was in Madrid's streets again, those streets that I once found beautiful and rich, now seemed to me so ugly and poor, I was so sad, so angry, so miserable, I was all alone and I felt so empty, I never felt that bad before.

There was still someone I had to talk to, Victória. I went to the hospital and got to her room as fast as I could, when I entered the room there wasn't anyone there, what the fuck just happened here? I looked around her room looking for anything that could tell me where she could be, after a half an hour I still hadn't found nothing, I was starting to get more worried second after second, where the fuck was she? The day couldn't had been worse until now, nothing was happening as I wanted do happen. A nurse entered in the room then, it was the one that took my son from Victória's arms so he could have some rest, she was weird that day, her gaze avoiding mine.

"Excuse me, do you know where Victória, the mother of my son, is? She was supposed to be here in her room but as you can see, she's not here, please help my finding her, I had the most horrible day and I need to talk to her." I said, my voice was shaking, so did my hands, I was really worried that something wrong had happened to her and to Isco Jr. .

"I don't know nothing..." she wispered and lowered her gaze to her shoes, it seemed like she was hiding something from me.

"Okay, but you know this hospital better than I do, please, I'm begging you, help me finding the mother of my son." I started to cry, I couldn't hold on one more something of this day, how could a day be so awful?

"I can't!" she said and started to cry too, I calmed myself before talking again, being that way was no help to make the nurse feel more comfortable.

"Why not?" I simply said and looked her straight in the eyes. She looked at mine too and bursted in tears against my chest, this couldn't be real...

"Because she... she is gone." she said and resumed crying.

"How do you mean gone? She gave birth yesterday, there's no way she could get off of the hospital" I replyed, I was really confused now, what did she meant with gone?

"She killed your baby with her bare hands and then she took her own life, I never seen nothing so horrible. I'm sorry you had found out this way, I'm so sorry." she screamed and hugged me tightly, I had no reaction right away, I was too shocked.

"Thank you, you had been very kind, bye." I said and runned out of the hospital, when I noticed tears were streaming down my face, I lost everything I had. Yesterday I was the happiest man alive, everything was perfect, I had Jesé by my side and I just had became a father, everything was perfect, exactly how I wanted them to be, and I lost everything I had in less than an hour, I had nothing else exept this awful feeling that I can't even describe, everything was ruinned. I kept walking, nowhere exactly, I just didn't want to stay in the same spot, everywhere seemed awful. Without noticing it, I was in the edge of a bridge, that was it, I had no more reasons to live anymore, I had lost everything I wanted and needed, in that moment, I gave up fighting, I jumped and closed my eyes, I didn't want to see the fall. All my life passed in front of my eyes, just like in the movies... I hit the water and in the exact moment I did it I opened my eyes widely, I wasn't hiting the water anymore. I suddently woke up hatily in my bed, breathless, it had been all a dream, none of that really happened. I could still remember every single detail of that dream, I started crying, I started crying so much, I was out of control, everything seemed so real, it still did... Jesé came from the living room runing when he heard me crying, he hugged me tightly, almost suffocating me, didn't mind, I missed him even though I had only lost him in a dream, the worst I ever had. I resumed crying, I couldn't stop as much as I wanted to, Jesé started to kiss me everywhere he could as he whispered calming words, I started to calm myself a while later, what was wrong with me?

"Isco what's wong?" Jesé asked worried, now looking at me right in the eyes, he still had his sparkle on his eyes, everything was fine, none of that really happened.

"Just a bad dream." I sighed "now that you're here everything is fine" I said and I kissed Jesé, who kissed me back, he was convinced now.

 

~~~

 

Unfortunately, Isco could still remember last night, he knew that he had to confess everything, though, unlike in the dream, he would do it in the best way possible, however, there wasn't any nice way to tell someone that you cheated on him/her. This time Isco would spare Jesé from details, he would only tell him what happened, he was hoping that that Jesé would had a different reaction from the reaction from his dream, and to be honest, that wasn't hard. So Isco bought him flowers (he knew it was lame but he also knew that deep down Jesé liked it), made Jesé's favourite plate for lunch, chicken curry, Isco only hoped that that way Jesé would see that how he loved him and how regreted he was. When Jesé arrived at his apartment from the gym his jaw felt to the ground, then Isco appeared in front of him with a bouquet of his favourite flowers, orchids. "Since when Isco was a romantic?" "Did I forget a special date or something? Fuck, I have no idea of what today's day was."

"Isco, what's happening?" Jesé asked with a wide smile on his face, he didn't like to admit, but he loved to be spoiled.

"You'll see Jesé, just enjoy the moment" Isco said that because he didn't want ro ruin the moment now, he would tell Jesé the truth in the end of the lunch, not after, not sooner.

Isco sat Jesé on his chair and went to the kitchen to brang the lunch to the table, he arrived to the dining and served the lunch for both of them, it started, there was no way back from that moment. They enjoyed each other's company, like they usually did, they talked about preety much everything, they teased each other, but then, suddently, the silence appeared, freezing Isco's bones, it was now or never.

"Look... Jesé... I gotta tell you something..." Isco started and stopped to look at Jesé, he had a dumb smile on his face, he loved to see him smiling, then, he looked at him right in the eyes and resumed talking "the truth Jesé, is that I made all this for a reason... Yesterday, after you left the hospital I stayed there for a while to be with my son a bit more. When I was returning to your car, in the garage, I found Álvaro." Isco stopped, the moment arrived. While Isco talked Jesé just nodded, not interrupting him, he wanted to but he knew that he shouldn't. Isco sighed deeply and continued, his voice was shaking and so were his hands, he could feel his heart beating faster, he was so nervous "I found him in the garage, he was already wating for me there just beside your car. I aproached him, I thought that he was there to say that he had forogiven me, but I couldn't be more wrong. We were chating a bit about last months when suddently he pushed me to the car's hood and placed himself on top of me, then... then he kissed me right on my lips, I tried to push him away from me but I couldn't, he was way stronger than me and afterwards... I gave up and I kissed him back, Jesé... I'm sorry...." I finally stopped talking, Jesé remained silent, there are no words to describe how broken he looked, it was like I just stabbed him right in the heart, Jesé finally opened his mouth.

"Isco... how could you? Listen, I love you, you know I do, and I know that you also love me, though, I need you to leave my apartment by the end of the day, I need some space now to think, okay? I know that you have nowhere to go so I don't mind to pay you an hotel room." Jesé said and Isco was kinda surprised with his reaction, he was expecting much worse, Jesé was trully an unbelievable human being. Though, the smile on fice face had vanished, the glint on his eyes were gone, all the happiness seemed to go away from Jesé from the moment Isco started to talk.

"I get it, I completly get it. I know that I screwed up, but I need to tell you something... I love you more than anything in this world, so, take your time, for you I can wait all the time in the world. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me, I don't even know if I deserve forgiveness, I just wanted you to know what happened as soon as possible and I wanted to tell you how sorry I trully am. Good bye my love, I hope that someday you'll be able to forgive me." Isco said and hugged Jesé, who didn't hug him back, he just acepted Isco's embrace, they stayed that way for a while, then, Isco left his apartment and when he finally left, Jesé started to cry. Isco could hear Jesé crying from where he was, but he knew that he shouldn't enter in the apartment again as much as he wanted to, he was going to respect Jesé's will. Isco started to walk through Madrid's streets, he didn't when he started to cry but when noticed it, his face was covered in tears, Jesé was broken and now and it was all his fault.

Isco knew what do to next, he was talking with Álvaro, no matter how much it would cost. He kept walking, step after step, every single step more confident than the previous one. In five minutes, Isco was already in front of Álvaro's apartment, he knocked at the door, no one opened it.

"ÁLVARO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!!" Isco screamed, things weren't going to like in his dream, he wasn't going to let them be.

"I'm coming calm down!" Álvaro yelled as he dressed up and walked to the door. He opened the door, only with his pants on.

"Are you alone?" Isco asked"

"Yes, come in, I wasn't expecting to see you so soon..." Álvaro said and he meant it, he was genuily surprised, Isco could see it from his facial expression.

"Álvaro, I just came by to tell that what happened last night won't ever repeat, I don't care id cheating it's not a big deal for you because it is for me. Also wanted to tell you that I told Jesé everything, as it really happened and I got kicked out from his apartment and let's be honest, I deserved that, I even deserved worse, fortunately, that didn't happened, and it didn't because Jesé it's a fucking angel." I said and Álvaro looked at me annoyed, almost bored.

"Is that it? Is that the reason you came here like a desesperate asshole?" he said and sighed deeply.

"No, calm down drama queen." I wanted to tell you that Jesé taught me today, he taught me how to forgive. Álvaro, I forgive you, you are my bestfriend and I can't lose you, though, if you try to do what you did again I won't forgive you again, not kiding, I can't look at myself in the mirror already. Well, I won't bother you more, bye" Isco said and turned to the door, Álvaro grabbed Isco's arm, he wasn't done yet.

"Isco, I don't know why have done what I did last night, I'm sorry, it won't ever happen again, I also care a lot about you, though, I don't think I love you, I can't love you, I'm not gay, also, I love Maria, there won't be a second time for sure. Sorry I messed up, I don't know what crossed my mind..." he said and he really looked regreted.

"Just give me some time Álvaro, it's all I'm asking you to do, bye..." Isco sighed and released his arm and got off of Álvaro's home, he was needing some fresh air, it was being a hard day, but at least it was going a lot better than his dream.

Isco felt the need of something comfortant, he decided to go see is just borned son, that way he could also have some words with Victória, he was decided to apolagize her. He took a bus to the hospital since his car was at Jesé's garage and he hadn't got the courage to aproach him, he would get his car among the other stuff he needed, they agreed that Isco would pass by so he could have anything he needed while he was gone. The bus stopped, it was his final stop, ten mintutes walking away from the hospital, Isco didn't mind to walk, in fact, he enjoyed to walk when his head felt heavy, it helped him clearing his mind. He entered in the hospital and went straight to Victória's room, and just like in his dream, she wasn't there, Isco's heart started beating faster. He went to the reception right away to ask for Victória and his son.

"Don't worry Mr. Alarcón, Ms. Alarcón is right now doing some after parturition exams, soon enough she'll be right in her room, as for your son, he must be sleeping, though, you can go have him, he'll be happy to see you for sure." the receptionist said, smiling politely, just like she got taught to. I got so relieved, I was starting to fear that it was just like my dream.

"Oh thank you so much, I was starting to freaking out. I'll go get my baby, I already miss him, have a nice day."

"Thank you sir, have a nice day too" she said and started to attend a woman who was behind me on the line. I got my son and went straight to Victória's room, I would wait for her there, however, I was so tired that I had end up falling asleep in the couch beside the hospital bed. I woke up with Victória's gentle touch on my face, I nearly forgot where I was, when I opened my eyes I closed them right away, there was too many light in that room. I opened them again and I slowly got used to the light. Victótia had Isco Jr. in her arms, she was stood right in front of me, she was looking at me a little worried.

"Are you okay Isco? I was expecting you earlier. What happened?" she asked and even though he doesn't know why, he told her everything that happened since he left her in this exact room, she listened, always silent, always focused in his words, weird, that wasn't something that she does usually, not even when they were together.

"... And that was it, also Victória, I came here for another reason than visiting you and our son, I came here because I owe you an apolagize for every terrible words I said to you, I'm not better than you, sorry..." Isco finally finished, he talked for almost ten minutes straight, he told her every single detail, he even told her about the nightmare, felt weird, tired, like he had no strenght left, Victória was shocked, though, she understood him more than anyone, she hugged him very tightly.

"You don't have to be sorry, I was really stupid, you are really a catch Francisco and I throw you away for a one night standing, you are better than me, you are a good man, a good person, me? I'm a complete bitch, everything you said about me is true, perhaps, I'm worse than you descibed me. Francisco, you are the best person I ever man, everything will be allright, it seemed to me like Jesé loved you very much, he'll forgive you and as you descrived Álvaro's part, he's going to be the bestfriend he had been, don't worry about it. Francisco, everything is gonna be allright in the end, don't ever doubt it and don''t ever lose hope. I'll be always here for you, not as the mother of your son, of course I'll be there in that too, but what I meant is that I'll always be here as your friend Isco, because even if you don't want anything from me, I'll always give you my friendship because I really like you and admire you Francisco." she said and hugged Isco tighter, he couldn't help to cry, he was so tired, thank God Victória was there for him, he wouldn't make it without her.

"Thank you so much Vito" he didn't call her that since they broke up "I honestly wouldn't know what do do if if you weren't helping me... But well, I'm going to the nearest hotel from here so I can go here as much as I can, see you tomorrow." Isco said and started walking outside.

"Isco, whait!" she shouted and I turned back to her, she resumed talking "I have an idea! Why wont you live in my apartment? You can leave when I'll comeback but until there the house we'll be empty and you are very welcome there if you want!" she said with a wide smile on her face.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna bother you Victória!" Isco said a bit embarrassed, he had thought on that but he wouldn't dare to ask and he wasn't expecting that she would actually do that.

"You are not bothering me at all! In fact, you are a lot more organized than me so I bet the apartment will look much better when I'll come back than when I left. Here, take the keys, see you tomorrow" she said smiling adoringly at Isco, who blushed and grabbed the keys, then he left.

"I will never forget what you are doing for me Victória, thank you so much" Isco said and left her in her room so she could get some rest, she looked tired, but before leaving, he grabbed his son one last time and smile at him adoringly, he loved him so much already.

Twenty minutes later he was entering in Victória's apartment, it was indeed messy, Isco thought it would be a good idea to clean it in the next day. He went straight to Victória's bedroom, which was the only bedroom of the apartment and fell on the bed falling asleep right away, he was so tired, he slept without any cover and with his close on. He finally found some peace after that awful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna know your opinion about this chapter so please leave your comment with your opinion and perhaps with a sugestion for the story, I'm kinda out of ideas right now :''')) Also, your comments are a great help, they really help me when I'm very tired and I still have to finish the chapter
> 
> P.S: I need your help, I hate the transition between the dream and reality, I'll try to change it but I'm out of ideas, so if you have any idea/recomentation please let me know :))


	15. I'm miserable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I gave this name to the chapter because they are all miserable ://  
> This was supposed to bea short chapter, just wanna get in their thoughts but I got an idea (it's still gonna be short but with this idea I manage to make sure something would actually happen in this chapter :///)!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sugestion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-J9VEJKx0g and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrdpliMfoAM listen to these over and over again while reading this (in the parts they are thinking), it just fits this perfectly (for me), I wrote this chapter while listening to this raping the replay button.  
> Also.... 6 DAYS!!!! (tet's all pretend I managed to update befor midnight, I deserve it XD )

 

**Chapter Fifteen**

 

**Jesé's POV**

 

Last weeks have been awful, I felt so empty from the moment Isco left from my apartment, like a part of me left through that door with him, I couldn't stop crying. I didn't got off from my apartment in those weeks, Iwas too weak and to afraid to find Isco on the streets. I wasn't mad at Isco, though, I didn't want to see his face in the next days, I felt like I needed sometime away from him to clear my mind, it was the only way I found out to make the right choice. I didn't want to forgive Isco, what he had done was completly digusting, I wanted him to knew how much he hurt me, how broken my heart was, though, I couldn't stop loving him, after all he had done to me, I still needed him, I felt incomplete, something was missing me, I wanted Isco back, I wanted to wake up with him by my side, why couldn't I just hate him? It would be a lot easier that way, I wanted him as far away from me as possible sometimes and I wanted to feel his touch other times, that confusion on my mind was destroying me, I just wanted someone else to decide what to do besides me, that way I could somehow feel better, that way I didn't have this weight on my shoulders, I felt so overwhelmed.

The only things that I've done these last weeks was to wake up very late, around three p.m, crying a lot, I didn't know how I could still cry, how they were still tears inside, then I had some awful meal just to trick my stomach, then coming to my (our) bed for more crying, sometimes I try to trick my mind, by watching tv or scrolling on Twitter, it didn't work, I always ended up thinking about Isco and then I resumed crying, I was worried about him to be honest, I had no idea of how he was, sometimes I even grabbed my phone to call him but I always ended up giving up and throwing the phone to the ground, then I resumed crying, I was always crying, I must had beaten some record of crying for the most consecutive time or something, I could barely open my eyes.

Sometimes he texted me, it only made me cry, he texted me to say how much he missed, he said that he knew that he shouldn't be bothering me but he couldn't prevent him, I never texted him back, not even once. I also saw all his profile in all the social networks he owned, he barely tweeted but when he did, it was basically they were sad tweets, with short sentences saying that he was a piece of shit and that he had ruined what was most precious to him, though, sometimes he tweeted the dumbest and the cuttest tweets like: "my baby boy is the most beautiful thing on Earth; Today little Isco Jr. had diarrea, guess who had cleaned the diaper? The last update he had made on Instagram was a picture of his son in the day he had born, the day he cheated on me, in the day he ruined everything we had once... His profile picture on Facebook was still the same, a picture of us in the beach the description was "Talk is sheap, my darling when you're feeling right at home, I wanna make you move with confidence I wanna be with you alone", he putted that description because he was a huge fan of Chet Faker but mostly because I made him feel right at home, tears came to my face right away when I saw that photo, I could still remember everything from that day, it was in the day  we had our first date as a couple, it was in Málaga and we spent the weekend in his parent's house, they weren't there in that weekend so we had the house only for ourselves, it was perfect, we really enjoyed ourselves and I got to knew a side of Isco I didn't until then. Fuck, I wanted him back but I felt so hurt. In that moment I finally understood that I had made my mind, if I couldn't get over the pain of Isco's cheating, that all he made me do right now was crying, then it wasn't worth to convince myself that I would someday forget it and forgive him, that wasn't happening. That was it, it was the end of something beautiful, intense and well lived, it was our end. I sent Isco a message so he would come by, I was going to tell him everything I felt and then I would end our relationship, maybe it was the best for both of us, maybe it was the only way that that weight go off of my shoulders, this way I wouldn't give him false expectations, I convinced myself that it was the only way I could be free again. Somehow everything seemed to make sence from the moment I made that decision, my chest felt already way less heavy, there was no doubt it was going to be tough, there was no doubt that would be painful at the beggining, but it woud worth it, it wil be... a knock on my door interrupted my thoughts, it was him, it had to be him.

 

**Isco's POV**

 

Another awful day, just like the others ones before this one. I barely slept since the day I kissed Álvaro, the guilt didn't let me, my sleeping issues were getting worse day after day. Everything felt so wrong without Jesé, everything that used to give me pleasure now seemed completly indifferent to me. I spent an huge amount of time crying in Victíria's apartment, I barely left it, than God I didn't had to work because of my son's birth. In fact, I only left Victória's apartment to go to the hospital to visit my son and Victória, who I told everything that was going on my mind. I was so thankful to her, she is the one who kept me sane alltrough this hard weeks, she listened me until the end silent, only then she opened her mouth to talk, she advised me very well, she told me that right now I should leave Jesé alone, that I shouldn't put more pressure on him, she told me that right now all he needed was space to think probably, that by doing that my chances of being forgot rose, though, not communicating with him was crushing me, I missed his voice, his smile when I said lame things that he liked to hear, they were cheezy but I ment all of them, I felt all the words that came out of my mouth, Jesé woke up a side of me that I didn't know that existed until we started dating, a side that not even Victória woke up when we dated. Sometimes I sent him some long texts saying how I felt, I didn't know why I texted them, I just couldn't avoid sending them, even if Jesé didn't reply, which he didn't, not even one, I couldn't help to text him, I didn't care he ignored all the texts I sent, I just kept sending them. Victória also told me if what we had was real, then, Jesé would eventually forgive me and accept me back, I only hoped she was right as she usually is, a life without Jesé didn't make sence to me anymore, I just couldn't imagine it. The only thing that managed to make me smile was Isco Jr., he was so adorable, so innocent, so pure... I really loved him very much, he was one of the main reasons I kept fighting, I had to be his father, how could I do that if I wasn't able to keep myself together?

The worst part was that I could still remember that kiss, I could remember every little second of it, I even dream with it, I couldn't help it. That kiss had everything, passion, intensity, desire, despair... Never a kiss felt so good, not even the ones I had with Jesé, Álvaro was such a good kisser and he was right, I wanted to do that since I met him, he was so hot, beautiful and desirable, I just couldn't resist his charm. The only thing that ruined that kiss was the huge guilt I felt right away, when the guit entered in me all the taste of that magical kiss was gone, because after all, I had just cheated on the person I love. I had no doubts that I loved Jesé, but there was something about Álvaro that I couldn't forget not ignore, there was something about him that made me want him, everytime I thought about him lust was all over me, I just couldn't help to feel it and I felt so guilty because I also loved Jesé, I loved every single thing about him, though, there was something that Álvaro could give me that Jesé couldn't, I just didn't know what... However, Jesé was on first place now, he was the one I wanted and the one I loved, the thing about Álvaro was weird, like it wasn't rational the way I thought about him, it didn't make sence, Jesé was the one that completed me, Álvaro was the one that made me feel in a way nobody else could, there was no way to ignore it, it was truth and I knew it, holly fuck this didn't make any sence at all, I'm so confused and sure at the same time...

I was in Victória's apartment organizing it, it was a mess, but its mess wasn't nothing comparing to the mess that was inside my head, it seemed like there was a fire there and that fire was spreading, it was destroying me and there was nothing I could do about it, there was only one thing that could end that fire. I was organizing Victória's apartment when I suddently I felt my phone vibrating in my jeans, I got a text from Jesé, my heart started beating faster, it said:

_"Come by, I wanna have words."_

My heart started beating even faster, my hands were shaking, I went to Jesé's apartment as fast as I could, I almost runned an old lady over on the way, I kept driving, my mind was miles away from the road in that moment, I could only think in the conversation that was coming, I was nervous, I didn't have a clue about what was going to happen in Jesé's apartment a few minutes later, Jesé didn't show any emotion on his text, was that a bad sign? I parked my car and I stopped on front of the building, that was it, the moment I feared and expected in the last days had arrived, Jesé had made his mind, there was nothing I could do about, I knew that, I also knew that I had to respect any decision he had mad, after all, I'm the one who screwed up, it would be a miracle if Jesé took me back. The time had finally arrived.

 

**Álvaro's POV**

 

Last days were weird. I kept thinking about Isco, kept thinking in his last visit and also in his face after we kissed, oh that kiss... the best I ever had, it was different from any other I ever had, it had something that I never had felt before, I wanted more of that but then I remembed Isco's miserable face and that desire got imediatly off my mind imediatly. It only got worse when he came to my apartment in the next day, he was completly miserable then, he told me that he had told Jesé the truth and that he kicked him off from his apartment, he didn't blame me for what happened, he said that it was also his fault, in fact, he said that was mainly his fault. I never saw no one that miserable before, his eyes were completly red and he was so weak that he could barely talk, he was in that state because I didn't manage to control myself, I didn't manage to control that desire, that irrational desire, it was unstoppable, it grew day after day, like a fire that couldn't be tamed. I was so angry at myself for not being able to stop that desire, that stupid and irrational desire only brang pain to everyone around me, Isco, Jesé, me... and I still hadn't told to Maria the truth, I couldn't, I loved her so much, I couldn't lose her, I needed her, though, everyday day that passed she was more suspicious, she even told me that my behavior was weird and she asked me many times what was wrong with me, I told her everytime that everything was allright but she still kept making those uncomfortable questions, she didn't believe in me, guilt grew day after day, it was getting unbearable, I couldn't pretend everything was allright forever, I would have to tell her the truth eventually, though, I wasn't ready, I knew that she would freackout and that she would leave me, she would hate me forever and to be honest, I deserved that and much worse, what I did was wrong and disgusting.

The thing that bothered me more wasn't Maria tough, as much as I loved her Isco was the only thing I could think about, even if I wasn't, I ended up triping over him, I ended up thinking about him and how I destroyed him and his relationship with Jesé, I didn't know how to feel about it, I only knew that both Jesé and Isco hated me now, mostly Isco, I was sure that he didn't want to look at my face, I was sure that he got sick just by thinking in my name, couldn't blame him, I was the one who screwed everything. I knew that he didn't want to see me, though, I still wanted to see his face once more, I wanted to see his beautiful smile again, I could still remember the way he looked at me adoringly when we first met, it felt like it was yesterday, I could still see that if I closed my eyes, unfortunately, the last memory from Isco that I owned wasn't the best, his face covered with tears, his eyes avoiding mine, we were only a few centimetres away from each other but it seemed like they were miles, it looked like Isco was only an alutination, it was like he wasn't there with me, he was talking to me but his mind was somewhere else, somewhere else away from me, which was exactly what he wanted, he wanted to be away from me, he didn't want to see me, he didn't want to remember I existed. I could only be sad about it, I felt exactly the opposite, I wanted him to be with me like he once did, I wanted him to look at me once he did, I knew it was all my faulf, I knew that I was the one who ruined everything when I let my irrational desires take over me, I felt gross. I wasn't even gay, I never had any interest in guys, why did I felt this way about Isco? I felt so confuse, it didn't make any sence, I couldn't love him, I didn't love him, but I felt something about him that I never felt about someone, just by imagining that kiss, just by imagining it I felt desire, a desire different from all the other I ever had, why did I felt that way about Isco?

I was feeling so numb at my apartment, I told my boss, Fernando Llorente, that I couldn't work today, that I was ill, I lied, however, he believed in me because I never skiped work before, he even told me that I wouldn't discount that day of my salary, that was very cool, I wasn't expecting it at all. As I said I was in my apartment, I was all alone, trying to distract myself with the dumbest things, it was the only way I found to avoid thinking about Isco. I was seeing the pictures that I had on my phone when I suddently found a selfie of me, Isco and Jesé, it was a really cute photo, I was basically thirdwheeling while they were looking at each other adoringly, I ruined that, it was all my fault, they were both unhappy because of me, I had to fix it, I knew that I had, there was only a way to do it, I had to talk with Jesé, tell him that it was all my fault and tell him about Isco's visit, I had to be sure that I could fix what I had ruined, I was... Maria stormed in to the apartment interrupting my thoughts, as she saw me she runned to me.

"Alvarito, what happened? I knew that you were aren't feeling well and you skiped work! What's going on? Why don't you tell what's happening to you in the last days? You don't trust in me, your girlfriend? I tried to avoid this conversation but I can't do it anymore, you have been very weird in the last days, it almost looks like you are avoiding me!" she screamed and I sighed deeply, what I was doing wasn't fair to her, she didn't deserve to live in a lie anymore.

"Maria, I need you to calm down a little, can you do that?" I said and she nodded right away, removing the tears away from her cheeks.

"You're right, I have been weird in the last weeks. I skiped work because I needed some time to think, I did and I decided that it was time."

"Time for what Álvaro?! You are starting to scare me!" she shouted. I grabbed both of her hands, I needed her to calm down for real.

"Maria, please, calm down." I said calmly, I hoped that that way she would calm down for sure, I couldn't say what I had to say to her if she kept acting like that. I waited a bit and when Maria seemed to me a bit calmer I resumed speaking.

"So, I have something to tell you... it's not gonna be easy but I need to do it, I know that you'll hate me after this but I just can't keep lying to you, you don't deserve that, before starting, I want you to know something, I really love you Maria... I can't find words to tell you in a better way, in fact, there's no way to tell you what I'm about to tell you in a good way... I cheated on you, I'm sorry..."

"YOU WHAT???!!!!" she shouted "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT YOU PIG!!" she kept shouting.

"Maria, you're right I'm a pig and I think that there's no way we can keep being a couple, you can keep this apartment, I don't want to cause you any problem with that." I ssaid, keeping my tone low.

"Wait... what? No Álvaro! We can get through this Álvaro, our love can win any obstacle!! Please, stay here! I love you!!" she sounded desperate, I wasn't that reaction at all.

"Sorry Maria, but I think that I don't love you anymore, I love somebody else now and I don't wanna pretend that I don't" I said, I finally got it all loud, I finally admited to myself what I really felt.

"What do you mean you love somebody else? Five minutes ago you said that you love me! What happened meanwhile?" she was even more desperate now, what the fuck was going on? This wasn't going the way I thought at all.

"I finally admited to myself what I just told you, I'm sorry Maria, that's all I can say to you right now, I'm so sorry..." tears came to my face, this was being even harder than what I had feared, I really had feelings for her, but I knew that she couldn't give me what Isco gave me, she couldn't make me feel that way. She gave up, she walked to the door.

"I'm not staying here, that's for sure, this apartment bring me too much memories, and as much as I want to, I can't hate, I'm still loving you" she said an putted her delicate han on the door's knob but before leaving, she turned to me one last time.

"Can I at least know who she is?" she said almost as she need to know that to survive.

"Doesn't matter who he is" I said, fuck, I just admited I was in love with a guy. She frowned.

"What? You're not gay Álvaro!!" she yelled, she was really shoked and genuinely confuse.

"It doesn't mean I can't fall in love with another man, love doesn't choose "the one" by its gender, it chooses by its soul." I said it, keeping myself calm, I didn't even know whre that one came from, I only knew that it was genuine, I really meant it. Maria knew that she didn't have a reply for that, she just left my apartment, I knelt and cried, it was the end of something that really made me genuinely happy, I felt weird, I couldn't remember the last time I was alone. I remembered then what I was thinking before the whole Maria thing, I was going to Jesé's apartment and I was having a conversation with him, I would only leave Jesé's apartment when I fixed the shit that I made. I left my apartment right away too and runned to Jesé's, I knew a way to get there way faster by walking than driving, I runned as fast as my legs let me, I couldn't waste more time. Soon I arrived there, I knocked at the door, the time had come, my heart was beating unbelievably fast, it was now or never, I thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter sucks and it's boring, I wanted to leave some suspense for the next one :ppp  
> Okay I finished this a lot earlier but the site shut down for a while, not my fault m8ts!!!  
> Also, leave your comments pleaseee :'''))


	16. Jesé's Apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, I made it!! Hope you'll like it  
> I might not update again until 22nd/23rd/24th but I'll really try to, okay?  
> Not pleased with this chapter, it was supposed to have way more drama and after this things should be a little be more defined about the next chapters, though, if I can't update until the date I said before I'm not leaving any suspense in the story :///

 

**Chapter Sixteen**

 

Álvaro thought if that was the best thing to do. He would probably lose Isco, probably forever, but he prefered to see him happy with Jesé than miserable with him, that was how much he cared about Isco. First, he didn't admite to himself that he loved him, but day after day his feelings towards Isco became too strong, too overwhelming, he understood then that he couldn't fight those feelings any longer, he was madly in love with him.

Jesé opened the door of his apartment, his face showed how surprised he was, he wasn't expecting him to be there, though, he gave Álvaro permition to come in with a nod. Jesé went to the living room, Álvaro followed him like a little puppy.

"What are you doing here?" he sounded annoyed with Álvaro's presence, he wasn't expecting a warm welcoming so he just started saying what he wanted to say.

"I'm here because I want to be sure that you and Isco will be fine." Álvaro said and Jesé winced.

"I'm done with Isco, I can't be with someone I don't trust." he sighed "If that was the reason why you came here you can leave, you're wasting your time, I even invited Isco to come over so I could break up with him properly." Álvaro's eyes got wide, he wasn't expecting Jesé to be so cold about this, he was not going to give up so easily.

"Don't to that, don't throw everything to the garbage, you both deserve much better than that." Álvaro was getting desperate, suddently it seems like he was speechless, everything he had in his mind a while ago was now gone, like they vanished from the moment he started talking.

"I'm not the one who threw it all away! Isco did it when he kissed you, when he cheated on me shamelessly" Álvaro was shocked but he grinned, he had an idea. He jumped to Jesé, making him fall on the ground and started kissing him hungrily. Jesé tried to push Álvaro off of top of him, but he couldn't, Álvaro was way stronger than him. Álvaro stayed that way and then he got up, leaving a shocked Jesé on the ground.

"What the fuck was that for?!?!" he shouted, Álvaro hided his grin

"Was this your foult?" he asked hiding his grin, which got more difficult second after second.

"No!" he screamed right away "you were the one who jumped on top of me like an animal!" Álvaro couldn't hide his grinn no longer, it was from ear to ear.

"Why are you ginning like that you pervert?" he was blind from anger, he just wanted to punch his face.

"Now you're even, I did to you the same I did to Isco in that night. You have no idea of how much Isco blamed himself for that, when I broke our kiss he started to cry and runned to his car. Then, in the next day he went to my apartment after you kicked him out of yours and he was crying so much I didn't understood a word of what he was trying to say, I only understood that he was saying that he had ruined everything between you two, I jumped on top of him but he still blamed himself!! Wanna know why? Because he's the best human being you'll ever meet, he's the one that voluteers himself to do what nobody else wants to just to make everyone else happier, he's the one who can see your favourite show that he hates for hours without complayining because he knows how much you like it, the one who enjoys to see the others happy more than himself, he's the one who blames himself for everything that's wrong in this crazy world, he is the one Jesé! Don't waste him like I did! Dont' make that mistake, don't break up with him, it will be the worst mistake of your life. Make sure that he is happy, do that for him, do that for yourself, because you're the only person that deserves him, please, don't be stupid, do the right choise, accept him once again, you won't be disappointed. I'm the one who is a monster, not Isco, Isco is the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be."

"Why are you even saying these things to me? If you love him so much, let me get rid of him and he'll be all yours." he sigh, though, he was moved with Álvaro's gesture.

"I love him like nobody else will ever do, I love him so much that his happiness if before mine and I know that he is more happy with you than with anyone else, he'll never love me like he loves you. Just... just to the right thing, you know what to do..." he said and turned to the door, he couldn't stay there any longer, he knew that he had done everything he could. What he didn't know was that Isco was in the kitchen the whole time, hearing everything from there. He arrived a bit earlier than Álvaro but he went to the toilet before Jesécould start talking, the weird pasta he hate before coming there made him sick. He was in the toilet when Álvaro arrived and then went to the kitchen so he could hear the conversation better. Tears were streaming down his face, he never thought that anybody could see him like that, loving him that much, he wasn't expecting none of that to happen, everything that Álvaro told about him was so beautiful, it really came from inside, it was really genuine.

Álvaro went to the door when Jesé called him back. Surprised by that sudden reaction, he came back to the living room. Jesé went to him and hugged him tightly:

"Thank you Alvarito, you may not believe in what I'm about to say, but I really think that you are a good person, a really good one" he said and kissed Álvaro's cheek.

"I have to go now, I know that you'll make the wisest choice, I know that you will..." Álvaro said and runned out of the apartment, he couldn't hold on more the tears that were about to come out.

 There was a moment of silence when Isco entered in the living room, none of them could realize if it was an awkward silence or not, they just stared at each other, waiting that the other one to speak first. Isco as the first to give up.

"Can you please talk? This silence is killing me inside." he said as he approached Jesé, who didn't step back. Jesé kept silent so Isco decided to approach more, which made Jesé a bit uncomfortable, soon they were bare centimetres away from each other, they could feel each other's smell, Jesé loved Isco's natural scent, it is very unique and somehow fresh, even when he was covered with sweat. Isco started to place his perfect hands in Jesés stomach inside the t-shirt gentlly, there was dare in his eles. During the process he didn't even look at his face, he just focused in where his hands were.

"What are you doing?" Jesé asked surprised, though, he didn't shake Isco off. Isco's hands went up along Jesé's torso, he missed to feel him, when his hands reached Jesé's collar he took Jesé's t-shirt off, leaving him well shaped body uncovered, Isco first just admired it, he still have the marks he let on him when they were together, it's like nothing changed since they stayed away from each other. When his eyes couldn't satisfy him anymore he started to touch him, first lightly but with the time his touch became more rough, he started to kiss every corners of Jesé's body. Desire was taking over him, though, Isco controlled himself, he knew that Jesé didn't want to have relations (he never explained but Isco never bothered asking, if he wanted to tell him, he would) and he wasn't also ready to that with a man, the idea of making love with a man still felt weird to him, he wasn't ready but he knew that someday he would be. Jesé didn't move from his spot he just lifted his head lightly and closed his eyes, enjoying Isco's touch, he missed it so much, he missed everything about Isco so much. Soon Isco was already in Jesé's neck, kissing it full of desire, he's eyes were now full of lust. Jesé was now full of chills, he always had them everytime Isco kissed his neck that way but there was something different in this time, Jesé blamed the time they weren't together, it had been a while without feeling Isco's touch... Isco went a bit more up, theirs lips were now only a few milimetres away from each other, Isco dared to kiss Jesé's lips, he kissed him so passionately that Jesé couldn't ignore him any longer, suddently he started to kiss him back, he kissed him like he never did before, this time his kisses weren't passionate nor delicate, he was kissing him hungrily, his kisses were full of desire but Isco could feel some despair on them. They were completly losing it, they were a mess of kisses that no one in that world, could stop, it seemed like they didn't see each other for ages. They went to the couch not breaking the kiss and when they noticed, Jesé was on top of Isco, his hands were all over Isco, he couldn't even describe how much he missed touching Isco, it had bee.n too much without feeling his defined muscles and his soft skin. Jesé didn't realize, he was completly intoxicated with Isco, he didn't even know what he was doing, when he came back shorlty to his senses he was unbottoming Isco's jeans, when he finished it, he removed his pants and his boxers(!)) with a pull, uncovoring Isco's half hard cock.

"What are you doing?" Isco asked between kisses.

"Don't worry about that" he wispered in his ears before coming all the way down until he was at the same level that Isco's cock, when Isco understood what was going on he sat comfortably so he could help Jesé, he nodded at that, then he got closer to Isco's cock, opened his mouth and placed it inside his mouth, going up and down, first slowly but with time he found a rhythm. Above him there was Isco who was a mess of moans, making an unhuman effort not to cum and not to move as much as he wanted to, he placed his hands in Jesé's head and defined a rhythm, Jesé was obviouly experienced, he knew what he was doing, though, he had to admit, Victória was better at blowing than him, she was an expert on that, she even blew Isco when he was stressed in order to calm him down, but Isco's thoughts were far away from that in that moment, he couldn't think at anything, he was doing everything he could not to come, he knew he was close to the edge but he wanted to hold on the most time he could, all his muscles were tense but his mind couldn't be more relaxed... He came into Jesé's mouth a few minutes later, it felt so good, it was magical.

"Let's shower" Jesé said and head to the bathroom. Isco just nodded and followed him. After taking a shower, when all they have above his skin was theirs towells Isco dared to ask:

"Does this mean we are together again?" he asked and without realizing it, his voice trembled, he wasn't sure if he should had asked that, but he was beyond curious, Jesé's sighing was all Isco needed to hear to regret asking that.

"No Isco, we aren't." he just said and started smoking one cigarette, Isco frowned at that.

"Since when you smoke?" Isco asked with reproval on his voice.

"Since we broke up" Jesé answered simply.

"But we never broke up!" Isco said strongly.

"You're right, this is my first cigaratte, we are breaking up right now, we are no longer a couple." he said like it was the most natural thing to say, like it was a natural way to break up a serious relationship.

"You can't be serious! You just blow me!" Isco was really confused and his confusion annoyed Jesé, who sighed.

"We broke up but we'll still meet, I just don't want nothing serious right now..." he said and laid down on his bed, Isco followed him so they could keep talking.

"What do you want exactly?" Isco asked but he feared the reply.

"It's very simple, we'll keep meeting and then we'll do what we did today, if you don't want that you are free to walk away in this exact moment." he said and instead of doing that, Isco approached him and started kissing him, he didn't know why he did it but he felt it was the right thing to do in that moment, he prefered to have him that way that not having him at all, Isco broke the kiss because he had another question to make.

"What would we be if I left?" he did asked after thinking if he should or not.

"We would be regular friends that greet each other everytime we would see each other on the streets and that  _maybe_ would have coffe once or twice." he replyed and Isco nodded and grinned.

"Glad I didn't left then, I wouldn't want that all..." he said and started to approach more.

"I know you wouldn't" he said and planted a kiss on his lips, now smiling like a child smiled to its dog.

"What are we then?" Isco was really curious about this one.

"Friends... who like to do this..." he said and started to kiss Isco, who kissed him back, he couldn't help grinning during the kiss, he really missed Jesé after all and he still had hope that one day hhe would recove what they once had.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Isco asked out of no where. Jesé shook his head imeadiatly.

"Sorry Isco, you can't, waking up with you by my side is my main weakness, it would bring to many good memories and most importantly, it would make me wanna have you as a boyfriend again, and that can't happen right now."

"Why not?" Isco asked indignant this time, he couldn't see the desadvantage on that.

"Because right now I'm not ready to trust in you again." he just said and Isco's grinn left his face.

"Will you ever be ready?" he said and couln't help to sound sa, he wasn't expecting that Jesé didn't trust him, even after all what happened, he thought that now everything was clear now, obviously it wasn't...

"Sorry Isco, I don't know how to answer that." Jesé said and Isco rose from the bed, sitting in it, Jesé was the one following now, placing an hand on his back, he could see Isco's disapontment through his eyes, he felt his heart breaking a little.

"Then.... then I'll leave, I don't wanna be with someone who doesn't want to be with me." he sighed deeply and got up.

"I want to be with you Isco!" Jesé screamed from the bed.

"Not enough, not the way I want to be with you, I'm sorry, I just can't do this." he said and kissed his lips before leaving Jesé's apartment once more, everytime he left Jesé's apartment his heart was more broken, he didn't want that to happen ever again, though, he wanted to come back there and do what they had done in that day, he had no intention of stop seeing Jesé anymore, he just wanted him to feel bad about wanting that for them, because he didn't, he wanted Jesé to want to be with him as his boyfriend again like he once did.

When he was going to the hospital to visit Vitória and Isco Jr. he got a text, it was from Álvaro, Isco didn't help to smile when he saw his name on the screen, he was no longer mad at him.

" **How did it go with Jesé?**   **:)"** I smiled and texted back.

 _"How do you know I've been with Jesé??"_ Álvaro on the other line cursed to himself, how could he been so dumb.

**_"_ A bird whispered to my ears a while ago and I wanted to be sure it went good"**

**_"_ ** _Smart bird! It was a bit..."_

 ** _"_ Tell me"** Isco frowned at that, wasn't him being too curious? Though, Isco couldn't help to smile with the following text.

**"Hum... if you want of course, I don't wanna be incovenient and to put myself in your life!! :/"**

_"Don't be stupid you dumbass! You can know everything (about this XD)! Basically we make out and Jesé blew me, then he said that we were broking up with me and he just wanted to be with me just to have fun, if you know what I mean.... :/ Then I said that I couldn't do that and I left, though, I'm coming back there tomorrow, I really missed him a lot!!"_

**"Well, that's indeed weird bro... Though I'm sure it's just a phase, he won't be able to want to keep things like that for long, trust me on this one, those relations without feelings never work when the people in question love each other, if so, someday the feelings will come back for sure! Just don't worry about it and make the best out of yourselves now! Everything will be fine, I'm really sure of that :)"**

_"Hope you are right as you usually are... Sorry Álvi, I have to go now, I'm entering in to the hospital, I'm visiting Victória and Junior! Thank you very much for your useful advice and for your kind words, you are really a good guy! Talk to you later x"_

**"Bye, give Victória and Junior a kiss for me x"**

Isco didn't replyed again because he was already with Victória and Jr., she told me they were coming home in the next day but that Isco could stay as much as he wanted to, though, Isco declined her kind offer, he didn't want to live with her, he couldn't still trust in her, why he couldn't was question that he then tried to answer to himself when he was already in Victória's apartment spending there his last night. After a lot of thinking he couldn't find an answer, then he u Jesé, he was passing throw the same thing, though, Isco's case was a lot different, Victória had sex with that blond man on purpose, she wanted to do that while I was pushed against Jesé's car... He didn't sleep well that night, he couldn't stop thinking, thinking about the question he had for himself, about Jesé, how was he right now? Though, the last thing he thought about that night was Álvaro and the things he said about him, his words were still echoing in his head...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless I can't sleep XDD  
> I have no idea of what's coming next, this is probably the most random thing that could happen in this chapter, sorry about that :// and because of this I don't know how to keep going, sure I'll do tomorrow if I have time to write tomorrow :////  
> OMG I DON'T WANNA STOP WRITING HERE FOR THREE WEEKS!!!! I'LL TRY TO FIND A WAY but I know that at least in the first and in the third (especially in the third) I won't be able to write, I'm gonna die :((( I'LL DO EVERYTHINK I CAN TO UPDATE AT LEAST ONCE UNTIL I'M BACK, THAT'S ALL I CAN DO (promise) ;////  
> you know how I love your comments <33333


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You should already know that I suck at summarys, I already gave up on them :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!!!! :)))))) IT HAD BEEN TOO LONG WITHOUT WRITING!!! I MISSED THIS AND I MISSED YOU!!! I spent so much time without writing that it took me three days to write this amount of crap :/// I hate it but it's the best I could do, it was even supposed to be bigger but I'm tired and I really want to update, so... :))) Hope you enjoy it.  
> P.S: ATHLETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> P.S 2: There's a new comercial in my country that shows many sporters crying and guess who appears in it? ISCO!!!! IT WAS SO RVHEBJNDSX TO SEE HIM CRYING, I JUST WANTED TO HUG THE TV but my father was there so that would be awkward....  
> P.S 3: I still can't believe in Real Madrid's result in it's debut... this only showed that Real Madrid can't play without a striker and that they need another one because you can't spend a season only with a striker..... ÁLVARITO!!!!!!  
> P.S 4: I was really feeling an huge need to talk about fandom so I basically created a twitter account for it, so.... if you're interested :)))  
> I really missed you and unfortunately I'll be gone again on the end of the month, I KNOW I SUCK!!!  
> Enjoy the chapter even though I think it's terrible :////

 

**Chapter Seventeen**

 

**Isco's POV**

 

I kept "seeing" Jesé everyday in the next three weeks. Sometimes I went to his apartment and sometimes he went to the hotel room where I was living from the day Victória was back at her apartment, though, I prefered to go to his apartment because my best memories with Jesé were there. Sometimes I tried to tell myself that it was the last time I was going to be with him, that I would be able to say no to him, but it was useless, I was lying to myself. Everyday I went there like a little puppy, doing exactly what Jesé wanted. I'm not gonna say that I didn't enjoy everytime I was with him, I would be lying, I couldn't deny that I loved Jesé's touch, though, I felt somehow incomplete, something was missing and I knew exactly what it was... I missed Jesé, the Jesé I used to know, the Jesé that loved me once, in a past that's so far away that I can't even remember very well... he loved me so much and so did I love him, we were crazy about each other. In that moment I felt that I was stuck, I just couldn't release myself, I still had hope that someday Jesé would smile to me like he once did, that he would look at me like he once did... well, that he would love me like he once did, though, that tiny hope became tinnier day after day, I convinced myself that we were indeed over like he told me everytime I asked him if we would ever have another chance, there was nothing left to do for us, though, I couldn't help to want to be with him and that tiny hope remained there. I loved to be with him but what I wanted was beyond flesh. beyond physical contact, it was way more than that, we were way more than that...

It was weid to live in a hotel. I didn't feel comfortable at all, I wasn't feeling at home, though, I had no other option left. I couldn't comeback to my apartment because the rent wasn't over yet and I needed the money very badly, I needed it to raise my child properly There was no way I was going to share a roof with Victória again, I didn't hate her anymore, but i just couldn't, too many memories I guess... I also couldn't gather the courage to ask Álvaro to live with him, in fact, I couldn't gather the courage to talk to him at all. We didn't speak to each other since the day we both went to Jesé's apartment and it almost looks like he is avoiding me on purpose, at work he literally runned away from me and he always lowers his gaze when my eyes met his. Why was he acting like that? I had to have words with him, I couldn't lose him too...

Speaking about work.... it felt so weird to resume working, I wasn't used to it anymore. What was even weirder was the first day, the day of my return. I only worked there for about a month so I didn't even expect people to remember to remember my name since I wasn't very talkative at work. Well, when I got there, a little bit late, I couldn't believe in my own eyes, they were all gathered around a huge cake that said " _Welcome Back Daddy"_. As soon as I entered James Rodríguez hugged me very tightly, I could barely breath to be honest, but he felt so good because I didn't receive such a genuine way of affect long time ago. I couldn't help to let some tears escape from my eyes, I should have hold on. As soon as James noticed it he started freaking out.

"Oh my God Francisco you're crying! I'm sorry! I didn't want to make you cry!" he said as he looked at me full of concern.

"It's okay James, I wasn't expecting none of this, thank you so much for organizing this for me, it was really nice from you!" I said genuinely happy, huge smile on my face. James cheeks blushed so much then, he was as red as a tomato.

"Oh... hum... you don't need to be thankful.. I only wanted you... hum... to be happy because I'm.. I mean we are very happy to have you back! We missed you so much!" he said and he hugged me again, this was somehow becoming very weird and uncomfortable, I'm just not a bug fan of physical contact I guess.

The rest of the day was weird as well. Even my boss, Xabi Alonso, greeted me emotionally when I was going to have lunch and he invited me to seat with him. I accepted because I had no one else to sit with since Álvaro was ignoring me so I thought it wouldn't be a great idea to sit with him at lunch casually. The day passed fastly and got even weirder, even people who I had no clue about who they were greeted very excitingly, how did they know? It must had been James.... it was the only way... well... it was kinda cute from him to be honest, I liked his concern about making me feel happy in my return. He even told me that he was also a father and that he wanted my son to be his daughter's friend and that he could advise me about parenthood, he spoke so much I could barely talk, I didn't mind, I just wanna go home, I was really tired in that day.

Fortunatelly, from that day on, things got normal, my presence was no longer a big deal, though, James kept staring at me odly, I decided to ignore, he was weird but he was really nice to me, I didn't want to hurt him anyhow. Also, there was a new employee there, James told me that his name was Cristiano, he kept talking about him for ages and the way he looked at him was at least suspicious... (I couldn't blame him though, he is hot as fuck) James told me that he had a wife and a daughter, though, I wasn't sure about his sexual orientation, no that I cared about it, why would I? I had nothing to do with it and I wasn't interested in him at all, though, I couldn't help to ask myself if he was indeed into women or men, I was just curious I guess...

I let myself fall into a routine: I woke up at six a.m and I runned to keep on shape, I also workout; I started working at half past eight a.m; I had lunch alone everyday ignoring Álvaro's stares; I left work at seven p.m, though sometimes I did extra hours for extra money, I needed it, and well, I also did it because I didn't want to go to the fucking hotel; when I got home I waited a text from Jesé to know how it would be. Sometimes he didn't text me and just appeared in my hotel room, eyes full of desire but somehow also with some contempt, I always felt numb when he looked at me that way, I felt powerless; finally, when I had the time to do it I went to Victória's to visit my little son, sometimes I took him a bit for myself and I had a big walk with him, I always felt so good when I had those moments with Isco Jr., I felt finally some peace, unfortunately, it was just for a little while, Isco Jr. couldn't spend many time without his mother, he was still so small, so delicate, so precious... Then I  basically went to the hotel and drank a bit. Yes, I was drinking back then, who wouldn't? I didn't drink too much so it was okay, I only drank to forget the shit that followed me whatever I went, that was deep inside my thoughts, first, those thoughts seemed like whispers that I easilly ignored, then, they became unbearable screams, it looked like my brain was shouting at myself for being such an asshole. I n the, drinking only made me feel more miserable, I couldn't run away from my problems, I didn't want to though, I wanted to look straight ahead and fight them. My last thoughts were always about Jesé and Álvaro, I really needed them more than never, I needed things to be how they were. Unfortunatelly, sometimes we just can't have what we want nor what we need. What I hated the most were the weekends, I had no work so I didn't have nothing to do. Sometimes I liked to walk around the city but because of my stupid memories about the day I spent with Jesé visiting the city (what a day, one of the best day of my life) I refused to do it very often, more often than a person with his mind cleared would. So basically I spent the weekends in my hotel room without doing nothing without feeling miserable, which is more tiring than how it looks. I couldn't even gather strengths to visit my little boy, best father award for me.... I felt so miserable and I had no one else to blame, I was the one to blame. Sometimes I still thought about the dream I had in the night before telling Jesé the truth, I thought about it way too often... I definitively hated weekends with all my strengths and even with the strengths I didn't own.

 

~~~

 

It was Saturday, the day I disliked the most back then. I was so bored, I didn't get off of my room all day, it was already a quarter past five p.m. I spent the day listening to music, drinking beer and watching random movies that were on tv (they all sucked but I had nothing else to do so I had no other options). I was in the toilet when I heard a knock on the door, weird, I wasn't expecting anyone since at weekends I never saw Jesé, we didn't have any reason for that, we just didn't met at weekends. It wasn't Victória either, she didn't know where I was living, in fact, she was conviced that I was already living at my apartment, I didn't want her to be worried about me. It wasn't Álvaro too for sure, I gave him my adress but he never went here until that day and we weren't talking with each other, I wasn't expecting to be him at all. Then I remembered that it should be room service I ordered a while ago, yes, it had to be it. The door knocked again, harder this time, I flushed and went to the door while dressing some cloth (I was completly naked before), so I basically opened the door with boxers and an unbuttoned shirt. I had to rub my eyes when I saw who it was in front of me, it wasn't room service for sure, though, he had what I ordered. The unexpected guest entered into the room and sat on my unmade bed and smirked to me, I walked to my bed as well but I remained up, staring at nothing in particular. Then I made the question that had to be made.

"What are you doing here?" I said with some contempt even though I was happy for this surprise. Then a pair of hands approached me and pulled me so I sat on the bed as well, though, I pushed it, I wanted to remain standing.

"I thought you would like if I made you a little surprise. Was I wrong?" He said and he smirked, trying again to make me sit beside him. I took a step back.

"Can you stop doing that?" I asked kinda angry, he was starting to annoy me. Why was he here after all?

"Why are you here?" I asked and took a step towards him, we were almost touching each other.

"I wanted to be with you, I missed you Francisco" he said and his right hand started to caress my left leg, which made me uncomfortable, he was aware that so he kept doing that in silence.

"Why didn't you wait until Monday then? When I miss you I have to wait until then." I asked and he knew I got a point, he sighed.

"The difference between us is that when I want something I do everything to have it." he said and I made him a face, I knew he was right though, he always gets what he wants, at least from me.

"I hate you Jesé" I said then. I didn't want to but it escaped from my mouth, didn't sound like it though. Jesé just smiled.

"Don't lie to yourself Francisco. You know that you want me more than anything." After our "breakup" Jesé started calling me Francisco, he knew that I liked it (I ddon't know why I liked it but I did), he said and I couln't help to find him absolutly cocky and even hotter, the way he was looking at me was driving me crazy. He used that moment to make me sit beside him, then, he started to kiss my neck softly, I let a moan escape, I couldn't resist him. Then he started to kiss my jawline and only then he advanced for my parted lips, he placed one kiss, two kisses, three kisses... I didn't kiss him back but that didn't make him stop because I actually didn't do anything to make that happen. His intoxicating kisses were driving me to madness, though, I still didn't kiss him back. After five endless minutes of it I pushed him away. He only looked at me full of desire and came back to my lips, I stopped him once more, then he tried again and I pushed him even harder and yelled.

"Stop Jesé! I'm tired of this bullshit!" I didn't know why but my voice trembled more than it should. Jesé almost looked offended.

"What the fuck are you talking about Francisco! We both know you like this as much as I do" he said annoyed, things weren't going as he wanted them to go.

"No Jesé, I don't! I'm really tired of this!" I said honeslty, my voice wasn't trembling anymore.

"You desire me!" he said and I noticed some despair on his voice now, what the hell was wrong with him?! I remained calm, I wanted to tell him everything I had to tell him properly.

"I never said I didn't. I desire you more than I like to admit. Though, it's not desire that made me love you, you know that, don't you? I loved you because you were kind, honest, emphatic,  because you cared for me, because you loved me like nobody else did! And now... it almost looks that I'm just an amount of flesh you crave for, I can't even find the old Jesé behind that mask you're showing me now, I don't like this new you. It's the same body and face but it's not the same Jesé, it's not the Jesé I fell in love. Sorry, I just can't do this anymore, it's up to you now, or you comeback or this is over, I'm done." I said and I grabbed both his hands and I looked at him almost begging, I really needed him back.

"It's not that easy Francisco, it's not that easy....." he said, rose from the bed and walk towards the door, I only watch him leaving, without a word, without a motion, I just stayed there, watching him leaving, and a overwhelming feeling crossed my mind, I realized that perhaps I wouldn't see him again.

 I just stayed where I was, not really watching anything in particular, not doing nothing at all, I just stayed exactly where I was, still sat on the edge of the bed, I felt so numb. Tears started streaming down my face, I couldn't stop them, but to be honest I didn't even tried to, I had no more strength left to stop them, I was aware of that, or at least it seemed like it, I just let the pain get off from my body. Why did I said those things to Jesé? I was totally aware that he didn't want the same that I did, though, in that moment, I felt that overwhelming need to tell him everything I was feeling about us, I couldn't be with him that way anymore, and now? Now I only wished I could be somehow with him once more because I felt that there wouldn't be a next time so soon, or even later... I ate what I had ordered because I had already paid it so I really didn't have a choice, otherwise I wouldn't, I wasn't hungry at all. I was eating when I heard a knock at the door. And a huge wave of excitment emerged and with it came smile that was from ear to ear, it had to be Jesé! He had changed his mind! I runned to the door as fast as I could, still with some food in my mouth and opened the door with a strong pull. When I saw the person who was on the other side of the door my eyes jumped from my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it was hard as fuck to write, I'm really tired, I lost all the rythm I had, I'm ashamed.... Don't forget to leave your comment tho!!!


	18. Reencounters and childhood misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say I gave up on summarys a long time ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I only took more than two months to update, I should definitively just say sorry to you that were reading this story, I really messed up but school and not being in the mood... Well, what matters now is that you have another shitty chapter to read.  
> See you in two months (not sure if I'm joking)  
> xxxxx

 

**Eighteenth Chapter**

 

When Isco saw the guy that was on the other side of the door he wasn't sure if he wasn't actually hallucinating, if he had gone completly mad, he even wondered if Jesé had somehow drugged him. No, that couldn't be happening, he was alucinating for sure, after all, Isco, didn't see him since his days in Valencia, that were long gone. He only recognize his face because they followed each other on the social networks, otherwise he wouldn't even recognize the man that stood right in front of him. Before he realized the man was hugging him tightly, so tightly Isco could barely breath, only then he realized that he wasn't alucinating, though, it almost seemed like he was unable to talk when the friendly man released him so he could catch his breath and to look at his face, he was looking at Isco with his eyes full of adoration.

"ISCO!!! I missed you so much!! Come here you asshole!" he said and hugged Isco again, the hug wasn't so suffocating now so Isco could actually enjoy it, it felt good in his arms, it was exactly what Isco was needing in the last weeks, a genuine way of love, he felt somehow safer in his strong arms. Sadly for Isco, that hug didn't last forever. Tears came up from both guys' eyes, it was an emotional moment for both of them, it has been years without seeing each other, without feeling each other.

"Nacho!! I missed you too! Come in please, I guess we have a lot talk about don't we?!" he said grinning, of course Nacho grinned too, he was really happy to see his old bestfriend again, he didn't see him for too long. It was awkward that Isco was living in a motel because Nacho had nowhere to sit besides Isco's bed, Isco being only in boxers and a opened shirt wasn't helping at all neither. Nacho sat in the unmade bed (he noticed that other person had been there recently because of the marks on the bed but he decided to keep that for himself for now) and watched Isco getting dressed hastily, the way his face got red when he couldn't find the jeans made Paco laugh, he found Isco cute when he was as red as three tomatos. When he was finally ready he stood in front of a immobile Nacho he smiled softly to him and helped him standing up.

"Come on, there's no way you're staying in this awful hotelroom, let's have lunch that I'm starving to death" Isco said and took Nacho's hand.

"Ok then, let's go!" he said with a smile from ear to ear.

They walked together to one of Isco's favourite restaurants, after all, he wanted to give Nacho a good impression of that beautiful city and he knew that a good meal was a important step. They walked side by side, talking about how great they lives were (actually Nachodidn't stop talking, Isco only nodded and laughed once in a while), apparently Nacho was working in his father multi millionaire company, Nacho told Isco what was the company about but Isco didn't caught it very well, he understood that they were good for the enviroment and only that pleased Isco very much, if there was something tat he hated was those multi milionaire companies that were destroying the Earth day after day, he even went to those "Save the Earth" protests with his friends back in Málaga (including Nacho). Anyway... even though Isco was very happy to see his great old friend again, he still had a question on his mind: How did Nachoknew where he was? They had arrived to the restaurant and they were in front of each other. Nacho had been talking without stoping but unintentionally he stopped paying attention at his words. Obviously Nacho noticed that he wasn't listening when he asked Isco a question and his reply was a lazy smile, he smiled at that and waved him so he would pay attention again. Isco shook his head and smiled widely, he didn't know how long he wasn't listening.

"Oh Isco I'm so glad to be with you, it has been a while... Sorry I'm talking to much but I'm so excited to see you again, you still haven't told me what have you been doing, last time I heard from you you were in Málaga. Tell me everything!"

And so did Isco, he told Nacho his life in Málaga, how much he loved it, how he met Victória, he even told him why he left Málaga and moved to Madrid and somehow he told about his relation with Jesé without giving him the name or even the gender of that "lover", he also told him about his job that he loved so much and he explained why he was currently living in a hotel, not that he owed him a explanation but he felt that he needed, after all he was aware that seeing anyone living in that conditions was a bit... well... a bit worrying.

"So... you have no where else to go? I didn't want to ask you why you were living there but when Álvaro told me where you were living I must confess, I was worried about you..."

"Well, I should never rent my house, I should know that things between us could go wrong, I was dumb, as I always am when it comes to love." Isco said and without realizing he lowered his gaze to the floor, to embarrassed too look at Nacho's face, which should be a disappointed face, seeing a person like that, so fucked up, he wondered why Nacho actually wanted to be with him when not even himself wanted. 

Nacho forced Isco to lift his head before opening his mouth.

"Listen Isco, you were not dumb, believe me, everyone do stupid things when they are in love, you had faith in your relationship but unfortunately things didn't go how you wanted them to be, you can't blame yourself for that. All you got to do now is to straight your like again, you can't keep feeling like that Francisco, you gotta move on! And most importantly, you can't blame yourself, your relationship not going how you wanted is not your fault" Isco wasn't expecting that one, he never thought Nacho could actually talk like that, so encourageous, though, he knew nothing, if he did, he would be ashamed of hin and he would probably be disgusted.

"Unfortunately, Nacho, it is all my fault, I ruined everything, I'm the one to blame. And as much as I don't want, his presence still lingers here." tears started coming, ut Isco knew how to supress them, he have done it so many times, too many times...

"His?" Nacho thought, Isco never told him that he was into men, well, that didn't matter right in that moment. All that mattered was that his friend was broken and that he had to fix it, there was no way he was going to ignore it, he couldn't ignore that his bestfriend was a mess.

"Even if it is, even if you are the one to blame now, all you can do now is to move on, that belongs to the past already, there's nothing less to do, it's over. But just because that relationship ended, doesn't mean your life did, because it didn't. You can count with me and Álvaro for everything you need, we'll be always here for you." And with it he hugged Isco, a strong hug, Isco didn't even realize it but he staryed crying, just crying, like all his bad energies were living his body through that tears that kept rolling in his rosy cheeks. When Nacho realized Isco was crying he hugged him tighter, that wasn't how he imagined his reencounter with Isco, but he was more than relieved that things went that way, Isco was needing a moment like this, maybe from that moment on he could actually move on for good, only that mattered to Nacho in that moment.

Everyone was looking at them and that made Isco grew uncomfortable, he felt so week, he just wanted to leave that place as fast as he could, he couldn't bare those stares much longer. Fortunately, Nacho realized that and after they meal was finished he ordered the bill right away. They left afterwards.

 

~~~

 

Isco knew Nacho, Isco also knew Álvaro. They were both Isco's childhood bestfriends, though, Álvaro left Málaga when they were ten, Isco has no idea about where he is or how he is, it has been several years, they lost contact many years ago. At first, they sent letters to each other, but as the time passed, they wrote to each other less often, and when Isco last wrote him, he received a letter informing him that the previous owners had moved to another house, to a bigger one he added. That made Isco sad, he had no way to communicate with his old bestfriend, worse, he didn't bother saying that he was moving for another house, Isco thought that he didn't want to talk to him, that was the reason why he didn't inform him and gave him his new adress, he didn't want to talk with him. It hurt Isco but he moved on easily, after all, he wouldn't be the one that ends up hurt, if Álvaro didn't care about him, he didn't about him too, anyway, he was in Madrid and Isco in Málaga, it's not like they would see each other again... Isco couldn't help to be sad about how he meant nothing to Álvaro, he thought he still mattered to Álvaro like Álvaro still mattered to him, he was wrong. Or wasn't he?

What Isco didn't know is that when Nacho went to Madrid for college he come in contact with Álvaro and since then they didn't lose it, they spend time together every week, Álvaro didn't want to lose contact with Nacho as he did with Isco, it felt good to have Nacho around, his presence remembered him the good times. Nacho also adored Álvaro, in fact, he adored him more than what he admited, Álvaro was his best friend, he an irreplaceable space in his heart.

Isco wasn't the only one to don't know things. Nacho was also clueless about some "tiny details". What Nacho didn't know was that Isco and Álvaro lost contact several years ago and they had no idea that they met in Madrid by chance, he was also obviously clueless about the "tension" between them. Because of that lack of knowledge when he returned from the U.S he casually asked Álvaro where Isco was and how was he doing. Álvaro didn't know that Nacho knew Isco, though, Isco was a subject he wanted to avoid, so he just told Nacho Isco's current "house" without making any questions, as by how he was, Álvaro told him that he had no idea about it because he haven't seen him last weeks, which was true but also a lie.

 

~~~

 

 They started walking through the city streets without an exact destiny, none of them had any idea about where to go, none of them mentioned it too, they just kept walking silent. It was not an awkward silence, they were still a little bit stunned about what had just happened and they felt better with their own thoughts. Well, that's was not really truth. In fact, Nacho wanted to know more about the mysterious lover and what happened between them, though, he decided to respect Isco's silence, he wasn't going to push him to go further, he'd wait until the right moment to talk again, even though he had no clue about what he should talk about. Isco noticed that Nacho had something to say, or at least he noticed that he wanted to talk, no wonder, he didn't open his mouth since they left the restaurant. Nacho stopped out of nowhere, making Isco frown.

"What's wrong Nacho?" Isco said, more worried second after second.

"How long?" Nacho asked, which  made Isco frown even more, what did he meant?

"What do you mean?"

"How long have you been feeling like this without telling me nothing? You don't trust me? We were supposed to be bestfriends! What happened? Nacho didn't want to show how hurt he was, how long would Isco keep that for himself?

"I don't know Nacho, I went to Madrid to search happiness and now I even feel more miserable. Nacho, I don't belong here and I didn't want to bother you while you were at the U.S finishing your master's degree. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, of course I trust you, you're the only one besides my parents who I can truly believe and count on."

"Bother me? Isco, what the fuck? You could never bother me, I just want you to be allright, unfortunately, you're the one who have to take the first step, I can't take it for you."

"What step?" Isco asked confused, he had no idea about what Nacho was now talking about."

"Forgiving yourself, Isco, that step, you have to take it, you can't live a life full of regret."

"I don't know Nacho, I don't think I deserve forgiveness, not even from myself..." Isco said and lowered his gaze, he felt that he didn't deserve to look at Nacho's eyes.

"Why?" Nacho asked him, time for the truth?

"Because I fucking cheated on Jesé and destroyed all we had, everything was perfect and I ruined it!" Isco started to scream, which made some people look at them, Isco couldn't care less and so couldn't Nacho, he knew that timing was crucial and he knew that he had a chance to make Isco open up.

"That doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy, everyone fucks up, but what distinguishes people are the ones who move on and the ones who don't! Which one of them you want to be?

"It's not about what I want anymore, it's about what I deserve."

"You are the only one who thinks you deserve to be unhappy, can't you see that?! Me and Álvaro adore you and we'll do whatever it takes to make you happy again"

Isco's brain clicked. Álvaro? How did he know him? He had mentioned his name before but he ignored, thought he catched it wrong, though, now he was sure he heard him well enough to know he really mentioned Álvaro.

"How do you know him?" Isco asked finally, he took him a while to react.

"Who?!" Nacho asked now confused, was Isco out of his mind?

"Álvaro! How do you even know him? I only met him here in Madrid and I never introduced you to him." Isco asked and Nacho couldn't help to laugh out loud, everybody was now looking at them. Isco couldn't help to laugh too, Nacho looked like a maniac.

"What's so funny you asshole?" Isco asked after catching his breath for a while.

"Are you serious?"

"Serious? Nacho, are you allright? Answer me, how do you know Álvaro" Isco asked more serious now, which kinda helped Nacho to calm down. Nacho's mouth made a perfect "O"

"You really don't remember" Nacho said and covered his mouth with both of his hands.

"Don't remember what?" Isco was getting impatient, what was Nacho talking about? What didn't he remember?

"Me, you, and Álvaro were bestfriends back in Málaga! In fact, you and Álvaro were absolute bestfriends, inseparable, I was kinda jealous about your friendship, I felt like I was third wheeling you guys! Then, when he left to Madrid and you kept sending letters to each other until the day he moved to another place... You were really broken back then..." Nacho said and Isco almost screamed. What were the odds? How did they meet again so many years later and none of them noticed what was going on. It all seemed so obvious now, that was the reason why he knew his face when he first saw him at Jesé's party. Jesé... thinking about Jesé always made Isco sad, he couldn't help it, thinking about him was too tempting, it caused him pain but it felt so good to imagine him, his tanned body, the smile he made whenever he felt embarrassed, those memories all felt so right until the moment he imagined Jesé's broken expression, his eyes full of tears, the way he looked at me, almost disgustedm but still, full of hurt... Though, the place where Isco's mind come last was to that kiss in the hospital garage, how could something so wrong feel so right? Isco's mind was somewhere very far away from Nacho in that moment, smilling vaguely, just imagining Álvaro's body close to his made him shiver.

"Isco? Are you allright?" Nacho asked worriedly, Isco seemed like he was somewhere else, so deep in his own thoughts and so happy, it was the most happy Isco Nacho saw since he met him earlier, it made Nacho smile.

"More than allright... Look Nacho, I gotta go now, I'll catch you later, bye!" Isco sayed and started to run as fast as he could.

"What the...." was all Nacho could say. Where was he going? Slowly, Nacho went to his place, all he could see now was Isco's dreamer smile, it made his day better, though, he was perfectly aware that they still had a lot to talk. More important, he couldn't let Isco live in that dump, he could still remember that tiny and messy hotelroom, then the marks on the bed came back to his mind, did those marks belong to that Jesé? Whoever he was, Nacho had to meet that guy and he definitively had to talk with him, he needed to know more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope is not as shitty as I think it is, it has been a while without writing....  
> Comments and kudos are more than welcomed ;)))  
> Srsly I wanna know your opinion about this, it would mean a lot!!  
> xxxxx

**Author's Note:**

> This needs a lot of edition but I'm a lazy ass... sorry for that, I'm not pleased with that either


End file.
